trinityvixen: (Stupid People)
The jig, she is up. Remember how G.I.Joe: Sequel now Starring The Rock got delayed for nine months, which was announced all of a month ahead of its intending release date, supposedly for post-conversion to 3D?

Turns out that may not have been the reason. Allow me to indulge my inner Starship Trooper and ask: Do you want to know more? (Warning: there is a spoiler for the movie that, if you've followed the adverts for it at all, you probably could have guessed.)

If this is true, and I actually have so little faith in the studio that made the decision to pull this bullshit that I believe it could be, easily, I AM GOING TO SCREAM.

WHAT?

May. 23rd, 2012 05:16 pm
trinityvixen: (wtf)
I had gotten more excited that I should have done about the G.I. Joe sequel. (It has the Rock in it, u guyz! I can't help it!) And it's apparently just been delayed NINE FUCKING MONTHS.

Is this a joke? It's supposed to come out next month. I've never, ever heard of a movie being pulled, literally last second (haven't theaters already done their buys for showing this?) for any reason, let alone a motherfucking post-shot conversion to 3D. Because that's been notoriously successful of late and something people who are excited to see this movie in literally weeks are going to enjoy months from now. Fuckers.

ETA: I found this out on a site called "Coming Soon," too. Fucking no it's not!
trinityvixen: (thinking Mario)
I caught this article on Tor.com about the renaissance of the comic book movie. Despite the $$$ made by The Avengers, I have a suspicion that comic book movies, specifically superhero comic book movies, are actually on the wane. Not necessarily in terms of quality, but I think the fad it going to start petering out.

Anyway, it will surprise no one that I disagree with a lot of points in that article. I have a long post as to why I disagree, but I summarize it up in an image for those not interested in the rant.

Because she never mentions this guy:



I am Iron Man. )
trinityvixen: (fangirl)
Sigh, the backlash against the ending of Mass Effect 3 continues apace. Apparently, there's real enough protest that somebody has raised $70k in protest. Thank God, gamers are not entirely useless and they've donated it to Child's Play. (Spoiler warning: they talk about the ending, but not in detail.) If you're going to raise a ruckus that only makes you look like an idiot, by all means, at least donate the reward of that ruckus to somebody who'll be more grateful for games than you are. Suck it up and deal. Unlike just about every movie trilogy I could name, this game ended on a cohesive note, and its ending is not inappropriate for the tenor of the series. Why it should be sunshine and rainbows (Krogan! Made me a cake!) in order for it to be "good" is beyond me. God for-fucking-bid these people should get their way. They want the "Hollywood" ending, according to that article. I'll take what BioWare puts out over any Hollywood ending. Last I checked, movie-goers weren't thrilled about the Disney-fication of every goddamned thing.

In short, look at all the fucks BioWare doesn't give 'cause you didn't get a blowjob from the ending of their game. The game is actually really good, and aside from Vega, full of aliens to wuff. Well, it's full of humans to boink, too, as this comic accurately lampoons. And while I'm collecting all my favorite webcomics on this subject: THIS. I know why it's there. But it still sucked ass to wait through.
trinityvixen: (win!)
Best new blog I just discovered today: Literally Unbelievable, a blog dedicated to making fun of people who think The Onion reports serious news. It's one thing to have a random incident where Poe's Law gets a person who might otherwise be pretty savvy about sarcasm, even on the internets. But to be fooled by The Onion takes a whole other level of ineptitude quite worthy of cataloging.

Best new thing I saw today: EXPANDED AVENGERS TRAILERASFK@(!^$!#*!&#!!!!! I know I'm setting myself up for disappointment, I know it. Shut the fuck up and let me have this, okay?
trinityvixen: (blogging from work)
I'm lumping together the two "actually good" categories of movies I saw in the theater because, really, after posting about the so-bad-they're-brilliant movies, I've just lost a lot of the oomph to keep going. So here we are, two weeks into 2012, finishing off my remembrances of 2011.

2011's Actually Good Movies

Lots of discursion, needs a cut. )

So those were the movies I deemed good, subjectively or objectively, and you're free to disagree with me as you please. I don't have real dogs in any of those fights, though I suspect I won't have to defend myself overmuch. This next list, though, are movies that I foresee going into heavy rotation in future--go-to new classics and favorites. Be gentle with me on these?

2011's New Favorites:

Love it or leave it! )
trinityvixen: (win!)
At last! I come to the list of movies that were so bad they were AWESOME. Included in this list is one that was slightly less shitmazing (TM [livejournal.com profile] glvalentine) but that was no less a fun outing with awesome people who took the mickey out of it SO HARD to make up for it. That's what you get when you try to rewrite Greek history around a bunch of people who were force-fed that shit in their freshman year!


Brilliant movies don't have to be GOOD. )
trinityvixen: (Default)
I wanted to get to the So-Bad-It's-Brilliant category right away, but I have to stop first and pay respects to the other milestone on the way to the better movies.

Better than they had any right to be. (No, really!) )
trinityvixen: (blogging from work)
Having been on an emotional rollercoaster today, I remain now kind of wrung-out and vaguely indifferent to my own existence. It seems a perfect time to continue on with my roster of movies seen in the theaters in 2011, especially this particular genre.

Disappointing, Unaffecting, and Other Movies That Were (and Weren't Anything Else)

This may be the category with the most entries, come to think of it. )

I shouldn't be surprised that most movies are just sort of indifferent. Most works in any field tend to be mediocre, in my estimation. There's just too much put out--too many books, too many shows, too many movies--for even half of them to decidedly bad, much less good. There's always going to be dross that, while not offensive, certainly isn't worth remembering. (Clearly, as it took me quite a while to remember something worth writing for fully half this list.)

Next time, I'm going to elevate to the So-Bad-They're-Fantastic, or the I-Enjoyed-This-For-The-Jokes-We-Have-Made-Since genre. That'll be more fun.
trinityvixen: (win!)
I've seen many arguments for and against prosecution of digital content pirates. This is the best argument I've yet read as to why prosecution is the losing strategy if your battle is really about sales and not, say, some sort of ego trip about controlling content.
Some more thoughts on this. )


Speaking of Legos and pirates, though, I bought the latest game, Lego: Pirates of the Caribbean, and it's delightful, if a little bizarre. Like, I can hardly tell where the cut scenes are going to end and going to drop me in to play the story. Also, a lot of the story play seems to take place in scenes that aren't, strictly speaking, movie-based. For instance, recruiting Jack Sparrow's crew to go chase after Barbosa in The Curse of the Black Pearl. In the movie, Jack goes as far as to find Mr. Gibbs himself, but the rest of the crew shows up at the dock later, and that's the end of it. In the game, I run around finding each person and securing them for my ship. It's a little backwards, but in a movie where there are a) invincible zombie enemies and b) not infinite amounts of droids to destroy, it's passable. It's a Lego [Fill in the Blank Film Franchise] game; it could be Lego: Twilight and I would still play it. (Especially if I got to bash little Edward into a million studs on occasion.) Hopefully, too, it will tide me over until Lego makes my dreams come true and exploits its possession of the rights to The Lord of the Rings to make a game in addition to the physical sets.

And did I mention that I'm playing all these games on my brand new PS3?

In 2010, when I started biking to work, I promised myself that if I hit 100 trips on my bicycle--trips that would otherwise cost me a ride on the subway, not bike rides taken just for the fun of riding--I would buy myself a present with the money I'd saved commuting. I didn't make it in 2010. In 2011, however, thanks in part to the unseasonably warm weather and my increased endurance, I rode my bike on over 250 rides over the course of about 6-7 months. Counting strictly by $2.25 rides on a pay-as-you-go accounting (or $2.10 or so, with the MTA's bonus thrown in), that's more that $500 saved by not taking mass transit. If you count instead the cost of unlimited 30-day Metrocards for those months, I saved hundreds of dollars more. You could even subtract the money that I did set aside for the infrequent ride on the subway and/or bus (about $60 pre-tax from my paycheck), and I was still ahead by more than the cost of the system. And I was staying in shape. Win-win-win all around.

Why a PS3? For starters, it does have some games you can't get on the XBOX that I've been interested in playing, and I enjoyed some of them at PAXEast enough for it to stick in my mind this long. (Looking forward to the Uncharted series a lot!) I also know quite a few people who have them now from whom I can borrow games, which makes me less nervous about the investment. Ther's also the Blu-Ray player, which, as I build up my library, will come in handy. Plus our apartment already has an XBOX 360, which my roommates have rounded out with a Kinect now. I even got a $75 gift certificate at Target for buying the bundle I wanted anyway (it came with a Move controller and a game as well) after Christmas. I made out with a bandit. I feel a little ashamed spending so much on myself at the holidays, but it was something I earned. Next year, I'll try to save up for a TV :)

I have no idea how to friend people on it, but I'm TrinityVixen (shocker, I know). Say hi to me some time? Please do not laugh at my laughably paltry amount of trophies. I'm working on it!
trinityvixen: (awesome)
New Year's Resolutions are kind of the bane of my existence. Looking back at what I've previously resolved, I see so much that I've not done. I resolved three years ago to finish the cross-stitch for my sister's wedding. (It is now going on seven years late!) I have resolved, every year since I went, to make a scrapbook of my time in Australia. I feel moderately better that I've gotten some more supplies for it--and I sent the majority of my photos to be digitized, so I have those things safe and digital and not just in hard copy. That's got to go on a list for this year, if only to not still be cluttering shit up when I (HOPEFULLY) have to move this year. I also have vague plans to volunteer more and maybe see a few more plays this year. But that's about it. Making resolutions seems to be as far as I go to accomplishing them.

One thing that I resolved and totally succeeded in? SEEING 52 MOVIES IN THE THEATERS LAST YEAR. I did it before December was over, and by 2011's end, I had seen 56 movies in the theaters. I saw fewer seasons of TV than ever before this year. I watched a paltry 176 movies for the first time, and I didn't even clear 20 books this year. (In my defense, five of the books I did read were George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire books, which should could for at least three books each.) But I got this one thing done. All in all, it was a really fun resolution, and one that, despite occasionally driving me crazy and making me panic about falling behind on it, I generally enjoyed accomplishing. Going to the movies is, relatively speaking, a cheap outing and a great time. There were more than a couple of trips where I had so much fun with the company that the content was irrelevant.

I'm going to have to break this down by genres. Not genres of movies, but the genres of how I felt about those movies. This may take a few days. Let's start with the worst movies. That way, it's all uphill from here. Without further ado...

So Bad, It's Shameful to Admit I Saw Them
Season of the Witch - Nicholas Cage made a great bad movie this year, and it was Drive Angry. I can't believe I saw this instead. And that I dragged my family to it, no less.

I Am Number Four - Timothy Olyphant aside, there's nothing to this Twilight-with-aliens-knock-off to make it worth anyone's time. It makes sense that it's so trite and cliched given that it was based off an assembly-line writing process.

Sucker Punch - The ultimate proof that style does not trump, much less make up for, substance. Such a waste. And sexist to boot.

Hobo With A Shotgun - Ugh. I may have been mad at other movies I saw that both sucked and blew, but this was the only one that made me feel literally unclean for having been a part of. I was ashamed, really and truly, for being in the audience, and the whole time I wanted to just leave. I desperately wanted to leave. I sat through the entirety of Ang Lee's Hulk without leaving, but I wanted out of this movie within the first five minutes. I feel gross just thinking about this movie. It disgusted me and it made me hate everyone around me who found it at all amusing.

The Hangover Part II - Beyond it's blatant homophobic "laughs," this move blew just because it was an exact retread of the first movie. When I say exact, I mean, cut-and-paste-the-"plot"-points duplication. Fuck this movie.

Cars II - Bizarrely, Larry the Cable Guy was the best part of the original Cars. His character was genuinely sweet, whatever his voice actor's typically obnoxious schtick. Making a sequel entirely about how much of a loser he is and then having him come from behind to save the day or whatever was a mistake. Making a sequel at all may have been a mistake. This is Pixar's only real failure of a movie, but, er, wow, when they miss, they miss by a lot.

Green Lantern - Dear. God. I haven't seen a comic book movie that was this much of a mess since the aforementioned stab at telling Bruce Banner's story. It literally made no sense. I wasn't even drunk enough to hand-wave away how bad it was. And it was bad at everything. I give it zero marks in every category. No one acted at all, if they could help it. No one had any chemistry with anyone else--the leads all reacted to one another with as much warmth (love or hate) as they would a subway pole. Things happened that had no connection to anything else, and the progression from loser to hero followed a trajectory that can best be described with the following dingbats: ...?...!?...!?!?!!?!?!?!

Transformers: Dark of the Moon - I have to give props to Michael Bay for concocting a plot line whereby we went to the Moon to discover Transformers. That was pretty fucking batshit out there crazy. Otherwise, this movie is even less relevant than anything that's come before it. All the problems of the franchise already abundant in the earlier movies were there and then some since several Oscar-worthy actors decided to debase themselves by signing onto this shit show and needed their own scenes to be humiliated. At least the racist twins were gone?


Stay tuned for the next installment, wherein I discuss the movies that were colossal disappointments! And maybe some that were even just mediocre! You can't wait! I know it!
trinityvixen: (blogging from work)
I stayed late at work on Friday to do some studying and I was here for much of the weekend as well to the same end. I've now been at my job for more than a week straight. I'm having issues figuring out times and such. I think I have test today. That's about as far as I've gotten with scheduling. I also have a presentation to give on Friday for which I've planned not at all. But Friday is so far away. Isn't it? That's the problem with the holiday season: everything feels like a marathon. And despite my disinclination for running, I'm jogging along as fast as I can between events. If I can just avoid sleeping between now and Friday, I'm sure I'll get everything done.

In other disorienting news, I had gone more than two weeks without any soda at all until last Friday. I bought a Diet Pepsi on Friday to help keep me awake through a marathon study session and drank it at about 9 pm. At 3 am Saturday morning, I had the most uncanny and horrible experience of knowing myself to be awake but being unable to move or do anything about this. A quick Wikipedia check marks this as probably being "REM atonia," a perfectly normal part of the REM cycle in which your motor neurons aren't firing. It's perfectly fine with being the usual thing so long as you aren't awake for it. Not fun. Needless to say, I didn't sleep especially well as a result of caffeine and paranoia about that event. The good thing about caffeine is how quickly you can adjust to it. The next night, I saw Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (phenomenal, by the way) and drank 44 oz of Diet Coke and though I behaved like a speed freak for a few hours after, I slept just fine.
trinityvixen: (Default)
It would be understating the case to say G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is one of the worst movies I've seen. It compares unfavorably, even with an adjustment for so-bad-it's-good enthusiasm, to your average SyFy Channel Original movie. (Except possibly anything with C. Thomas Howell. I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN, HOWELL!!!!!!) When you have a cast that includes Jonathan Pryce, Dennis Quaid, Arnold Vosloo, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Joseph Gordon Levitt, and Ray Park being a fucking ninja and you make the stars of your movie Channing Tatum and a Wayans brother You Are Doing It Wrong.

If you can't be expected to have a plot--which nobody did expect--and you can't be expected to having great acting (Channing Tatum. Wayans brother. QED.), the least you can do is have awesome fights. You Are Doing It Wrong when a fight between Snake Eyes (Raaaaay Paaaaark) and the white-costume Ninja (Stormshadow?) is less cool than the fight between the two twelve-year-olds playing them in flashbacks. This movie had nothing. For no one. It was not even gleefully bad.

It looks like they've fixed all that in the sequel, starring the Rock. Fuck spoilers: it looks like Channing Tatum is barely in this and THANK FUCKING GOD. Make it all the Rock and Ray Park and surprise guest from the end of the trailer, and I will be there with my ticket money already gone. I'll buy so much popcorn and I'll eat it like Eddie Izzard taught me to do.
trinityvixen: (blogging from work)
Just some stuff I've been doing. )
And that's it, really. No, I take it back, I did do one thing recently: I accomplished my new year's resolution! As of last week, I'd seen 52 movies in the theaters this year, and I still have three weeks of year left to go!

I was looking to see where I declared my resolution on my LJ, and I can't find it. I did, however, find this list of movies I thought I would see this year. AND I SAW MOST OF THEM. In fact, the only one I didn't see--and I am still kicking myself for it after having seen how glorious it was on DVD--was Drive Angry. Depending on reviews for Ghost Rider 2: Ghost Riderer, I will go see that next year. There needs to be a balls-to-the-wall insane Nicholas Cage movie released every year. I will be there on opening night, I tells you.

But yes, I saw every single other movie on that list. I'll do a year-end review, let you know what's worth checking out or not. Not all of those movies were great. Or even all that good. It was still a fun experiment. I'm a little exhausted by it, but at the same time? It's nice to break the cycle of making movie outings "a thing." I do THE MAY MOVIE and that's something of a production. (My own fault, really.) It's nice to turn to a few people and say, "Hey, wanna go see a movie?" and just do it. It's a little bit of recaptured youth. Going to the movies, despite the soaring ticket prices, really isn't all that expensive. It's easy and fun and it's a frequent generator of fantastic outings. (Oh God, Priest. OH GOD THE THREE MUSKETEERS.)

D'oh.

Nov. 22nd, 2011 01:28 pm
trinityvixen: (awesome)
I made a specific point about getting through my Netflix DVDs by Monday so I could have a couple of movies to watch over Thanksgiving. I did manage to do that and to even remember to put them in the mailbox, and I'm getting my next movies Wednesday. I forgot, however, to rearrange my queue following Halloween because I've been holding onto movies longer and hadn't really noticed the selections being decidedly horror-focused.

Until, naturally, this week. I really doubt that, over the big family weekend, I'm going to find time to watch Hell's Ground and Book of Blood. I also have no memory of a) adding these movies to my queue or b) moving them up to the top of the queue. Awesome.
trinityvixen: (epic fail)
As [livejournal.com profile] jethrien and [livejournal.com profile] xannoside and [livejournal.com profile] glvalentine have all pointed out, Immortals is a mess. There are moments of brilliance and beauty floating through a sea of shit. The minotaur? Awesome concept, well executed design. The costumes? Superb, even if, as [livejournal.com profile] mithras03 pointed out, Theseus should not have been wearing pants. (I agreed with her, but for completely different reasons.) Of course, for every awesome costume, there was Poseidon's hat. Yeeaaaaaah...when your pantheon features extras from a gay German disco, maybe it's time to rethink.

I get why it's hard to re-write Greek myth. I do. The will/rule of the gods is capricious and confusing and movies require rules that are easier to understand. Even movies about tricksters have rules. (Rule #1: Satan is always going to fuck you. Do not make deals with Satan.) Greek myth has no binary moral code. Worse, the gods interfere with humans all the goddamned time, so it's hard to keep them from their deus ex machinations. Immortals tried to bench the supernatural A team. (That the B team--Hades, possibly Apollo, Hera--are never even in the movie is another issue.) It didn't work, but I understand why they tried.

But when you come right down to it, the movie made no sense, and what little sense it did make made me dangerously sympathetic to Mickey Rourke's character because because fuck the gods that's why. Little pricks who can't be arsed to do anything to spare human bloodshed until it looks like they might have to suffer a day in their life...
trinityvixen: (horror)
But how the hell does anyone think a Doctor Who movie would ever be a good idea? I don't even mind that aborted thing that was the Eighth Doctor's one and only screen outing, but still. Not. A. Good. Idea.

This part worried me especially:
"Russell T. Davies and then Steven Moffat have done their own transformations, which were fantastic, but we have to put that aside and start from scratch," he said.

Translation: If they can make shit up and get viewers, so can we! Also, you should be worried when people say they're going to put aside that which they admit is fantastic. (Just saying.)
Do not want Doctor Who movie! )
What surprises me most is that, given the track record of Who movies, anyone thought this might be a good idea, no matter who's involved...
trinityvixen: (thinking Mario)
Assassin's Creed: game to movie to talk. )
Arkham City: A big Fuck You to Arkham Asylum/Batman fans. )
I think I'm ready to go back to playing Dead Rising 2: Off the Record now. Sure, all the female characters saunter instead of walking, and they all make passes at Frank "I-look-like-my-Mama-took-a-shovel-to-my-face-when-I-was-baby" West, but you know what? People don't say BITCH at or about women all the time. Somehow, the gross objectification of women that you see onscreen is less irritating--probably because it's not onscreen for all that long--than having to endure constant cat calls/threats of rape from NPCs for the hours you play the game.
trinityvixen: (clock)
In Time, slight spoilers, nothing you wouldn't know from ads. )
In other news, I got up early to go to the dentist. It must be a reaction to going to the doctor, but I booked an appointment at 8 am, fully anticipating that it would still find some way to threaten making me late for work. (Seriously, I've booked doctor's appointments at the same time and not been seen for 45 minutes which, on top of the appointment itself, has made me late for work.) Dentists, apparently, work much more efficiently than doctors. (Are their issues with insurance forcing them to see more patients not as onerous?) I was done with an hour and change left to go before I had to be at work. I hope I make it through the day. I've already proved I'm not paying as much attention as I should with a completely stupid LJ comment I made. I'm probably going to have to ruin the nice hurty-but-clean feeling in my mouth to get some caffeine, aren't I?

Speaking of hurt, that was The. Most. Gory. visit to the dentist EVER. I swear to God, I rinsed and spit and it looked like I had been eating bits of grapefruit or something because there was a ton of fleshy bits in the sink after. I was told, however, that I have been excellently maintaining my teeth (very little plaque, all of it in the front where my overlapping teeth make it hard to get them brushed well enough--must floss more!), so I hope that that crime scene isn't indicative of massive gum failure or something. I did, however, get a warning about issues I may have when I'm 50. I think this is a lopsided priority scale--mouth falling apart in chunks now versus bone receding when I'm another two decades older--but hey, at least I've got that plaque situation licked.
trinityvixen: (wtf)
The Dark Crystal: quoi? )
The saving grace of those movies, of course, is that someone tried something other than a reboot and did it with a metric ton of puppets. Which is good. I just wish these supposedly seminal movies were actually important after the fact. I realize that I have this problem a lot. Some movies remain important long after they have been made irrelevant--tonally, visually, etc.--by films that owe them a lot of credit. I'm told that The Godfather is one of those movies; I hated it, but supposedly it is the basis on which gangster movies ever after were fashioned, and the good ones (yeah, right, what were those again?) all are due to it. I wonder, though, whether that's fair. There are plenty of movies that pioneer effects, tones, etc. that go on to be used in better movies and we don't hold them up as all that extraordinary. I mean, The Matrix borrowed its signature effect from technology last seen in a GAP commercial and a wardrobe stolen from Wesley Snipes' Blade. Oh lord, I'm gonna hear about that from the Blade-lovers out there.

But I think Blade is a perfect example. It is decidedly not a great film. It's passable enough--like tougher version of Underworld, minus the werewolves (although not necessary without them, as some deleted scenes from Blade 3 would suggest)--and undoubtedly stylish. Otherwise, it's a fairly hollow narrative, based on a caricature better represented in several other characters. The stoic, violent anti-hero who struggles to resist becoming his enemy? Been there. It's still the reason we got X-Men made, and, subsequently, the renaissance of the comic book movie. That doesn't make it great or even necessarily worth watching. (The parts with the fat vampire being baked and Tracy Lords, just in general, make my case for me.) I think there are probably many movies that fit that profile and that people don't generally admit to not liking.

Or maybe it's just me.

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