Interesting

[trinityvixen]

Apparently, our culture is not satisfied with living wills and the like, but we must dwell on death a little more. Now, I'm not saying that dividing up your estate among your heirs while you're still alive is a bad thing, but don't wills usually take care of most of that?

I guess I'm lucky because I know that there's relatively little, object-wise, that I would want from my parents or grandparents if they were to pass on. My mom has things she wants that are of sentimental value and heirloom-wise are rich in family history, but those are things she knows about and wants, not me. I wouldn't say no to a piece of jewelry from great-grandparents (my mother, always on top of these things, reset pieces of great-grandma's jewelry into necklaces and a tie-tack for my sisters and I and my brother last Christmas), but there's nothing I'd have to have.

Except one thing. There's a necklace that my mother used to wear that I can recall clear as day, and, given my shoddy memory, that is saying something as she's not worn in in maybe a decade now. It's a gold necklace, circular with a middle that looked like lace, interwoven little strings of gold. It wasn't overly beautiful, nor probably worth that much, but it so reminds me of her, I would request it if this ever came up.

Otherwise, why fight over china or chairs? We honestly don't have man heirloom type things like that, and I'm sure most of the 'hold-on-to-this-because-it-has-family-history' would interest my older sister (she's very good about that stuff) or my next-to-youngest one (because she's a history buff). I guess I just don't get it.

Comments

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Well, wills do indeed usually take care of that. But how do people decide what to give whom in the will?

It does make sense - as the article points out, frequently people don't realize other people have deep sentimental attachment to random objects. My mother has a bunch of jewelry - the ones that I would want to have are not the ones that were most valuable. Were she dividing them up among me and hypothetical grandchildren, would she know that I don't care about the diamond ring, but I really would like the snowflake necklace?

Actually, one of my grandmothers already basically did this. Several years ago, she had us all go around and say what we wanted when she updated her will. Unfortunately, I was, like, 12. Which means that A)I can't remember what I asked for and B)I have no idea if it's something I still would want. I remember being totally baffled when trying to choose. When she does die (may it be a very long time from now), it's going to be interesting to see what I end up with. What seemed like a good idea to 12-year-old me?

[bigscary.livejournal.com]

It's certainly a thorny issue, and there are odd repercussions ever after. I think the best solution is for the children to come to an agreement before it becomes an issue, subject to the testator's wishes, of course (but not enslaved to their wishes).

Cryptonomicon has a section devoted to a maximally-rational division, where each possible inheritor values all items in the set of the estate by giving each a perceived monetary and emotional value (including negative values), and then distributing all items so as to maximize both values for all partys. The point is made that the math therein involved is computationally burdensome, to say the least.

[droidguy1119.livejournal.com]

Not to interrupt a discussion, but psst.

http://s22.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0PI6S5G2O7CS3KDVW91CQ5M2Q

[mephistakitten.livejournal.com]

That's one of those things that I just don't want to think about... I know I inherit *everything*, which barely fits in a large two bedroom apartment.

I know that whenever this happens, I'm not going to want to part with certain things, well, a lot of things, but what does one do?

Hope that my mom lives a long long long time. =)

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

And this is where the estate sale came from.

[viridian.livejournal.com]

oh the joys of being an only child.

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

This is definitely an advantage of small families. When there are four siblings, who gets what can become a major affair. When there are two, especially if they're different genders, who gets what is much easier. My mother has had the order of inheritance down to a fine science since my sister was born: I get the comic books, Sam gets the jewelry, and everything else gets split down the middle.

Of course, my mother has also recently expressed a desire to spend my inheritance while she's still here to enjoy it (and more power to her, I say), so this may all be moot.

[umeyard.livejournal.com]

ummm I call dibs on you...if anything happens i get to take you in as my long lost sister, if that fails i will be happy to take max...if that fails will stick with Darryl.

[edgehopper.livejournal.com]

Ditto, only more so. Splitting minor things will never be an issue in our family, with my mom having no independent siblings and me just having a sister with completely different interests. Though there may be major estate fights over the will as a whole when either my dad or my maternal grandparents die.