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Oh God... ::hysterical laughter::

I was going to write about how it took me forever to give my brother-in-law's brother the hint that he had to get out this morning so I could go to work, but I've been distracted.

I've been comforting myself with the splat! reviews of Pride & Prejudice at Rotten Tomatoes. The film got like 85% good reviews, but the few reviewers who actually a) saw the film, b) read the book, c) saw the BBC production, d) have good taste, or e) all of the above, are so much better at the snark, I cannot believe it.


From Chicago Reader:
"And what of Lizzie, perhaps the most beloved female character in fiction? Lizzie is intelligent and feeling, perspicacious in ways that make it seem like she's reaching a hand from the past to pull you in. But it's this very quality in which filmmakers find license to have their way with her. Instead of a specific character, a creation of the early 19th century, she's everywoman, cast with a nod to current fashion.

In this case Knightley is the same age as Elizabeth Bennet, but she seems far too young, with the expressive range of a chipmunk. Her Lizzie is Hollywood skinny, she mugs for her family and the camera, and she displays a wholly contemporary, entitled sense of her place in the world. Lizzie's thoughtfulness, even temper, and sense of propriety, as well as her juice and liveliness are all muted. All that's left is Knightley's face, and that itself isn't always "too pretty," to address one issue critics have raised about her performance. In fact, she's almost a stick figure, with very strangely placed lips -- like the singing orange with the rubber-band mouth on Sesame Street. In the scene where she first rejects Darcy's proposal, her body grows still as her lips keep moving and I couldn't help think of the hypnotic way Jack Nicholson becomes just a mouth ranting in a frozen face in the climactic you-can't-handle-the-truth scene of A Few Good Men."

(full article, which is worth a read as it does justice to a book v movie comparison: The new Keira Knightly vehicle is an OK romance, but it's no 'Pride and Prejudice')

***

From Orlando Weekly: (yes, I know, not exactly citing The Times here, am I?)
"If you're in the mood for a trailer to a Jane Austen theme-park ride, it'll do fine; just forget about consistent adaptation, sane casting or on-target performances.

...Limey airhead Keira Knightley is too glamorous to play plainer-but-wiser child Elizabeth, yet the poor, deluded creature appears to be having the time of her life, once again simulating girlish delight by opening her mouth as widely as a woodchuck that can't wait to gnaw on something. Chew up somebody else's book next time, dear."

***

From The New Yorker:
"For her part, Knightley has been crisp and quick throughout—more girl than woman than seems fit, perhaps, and a boyish girl to boot, but ready and able to hold her own in any rally of wits. Now, like the queen in “Aliens,” she extends her famous underbite and gets down to business."

::DIES::

***

From The Hollywood Reporter:
"It's no wonder a great deal of the publicity for the new screen version of "Pride & Prejudice" boasts of its gorgeous settings and scenery, for they are by far the best things about a film that turns Jane Austen's nimble satire into a lumbering gothic romance."

(full article, worth it for the snark: click me!)

And I'm done. No more harping on it or Keira for being in it unless she makes a play for any other heroines I'd rather her keep all 90 lbs of herself away from, thank you.
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