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I laughed, I cried, I wanted to vomit
Mar. 24th, 2004 12:31 amSo, my aunt has let the other shoe drop....what did we forget to do? We forgot to leave money for the maid to clean up her house when we left! Funny, that, as she told me there wasn't time for the maid to come between our and my uncle's parents' visit. So, we assumed that when she said there was no time for the maid to come, it meant that we didn't have to have her come. I mean, we weren't the only ones using the house before they were, so, even if we did have to get her to come, shouldn't we get to split that bill with the other guests? Noooo....
I get an email today asking where the money is for the maid and if I hid it someplace....I'm going 'huh?' all the while knowing I can't tell her "We didn't think we had to pay" because that will A) earn me a lecture and B) probably get me banned from the place for life (like everything else). I wrote her promising to send a check, and, because she mentioned nothing about how nicely we cleaned up on our own or the nice presents we left, made a rather pointed reminder that wow, weren't we swell for what we did?
E-mail back from aunt says 'no worries, send check to her by mail, maid already paid for' or words to that effect. Then there's another e-mail that says "Fuck it, consider it your birthday/graduation present since I'll prolly forget to send you one anyway."
Wait, wait. Let that sink in. No, no, you're not paying attention. My not paying for a maid to clean her house is my birthday AND graduation present. Maybe you're not getting it: IN EXCHANGE FOR NOT HAVING TO PAY SOMEONE TO CLEAN HER HOUSE, MY AUNT IS KIND ENOUGH TO ALLOW ME TO HAVE THAT FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND GRADUATION PRESENT.
Did I mention that this is my Godmother??? This is the woman who is supposed, according to tradition, to look after me like a second mother or at least pretend she does by sending me cards on special occasions. She only just started doing that sometime in high school, and even then her cards were more about why her family's affairs were more important, hence the lateness of the card. She sent me money for my graduation from high school and my family nearly fainted. So, being the great Godmother that she is, she's willing to let my sin be cleansed and let our one mistake with her house be taken out of her responsibility to me as a goddaughter. Her responsibility to me is NOT to give me stuff--don't think I'm whining about that, please--her responsibility to me is to give a fuck. Basically, instead, what she's said here is that she now has carte blanche to once more have nothing to do with me on a personal level because she had to---HAD TO MY ASS THE PLACE WAS PLENTY CLEAN--pay for a maid to clean up my and my friends' non-existant mess.
I honestly don't know whether to laugh at this or be upset. It's one of my aunt's trade-mark behaviors--it's so shockingly RUDE and she lets you know how she feels in such terse, unfeeling language that you want to laugh because she can't be serious but she is. She really has no clue how hurtful, spiteful, and awful she is--she thinks she's doing me some favor by letting me off with $100 I owe her maid. If I were to say word one, I'd be an ingrate. I'd rather pay her and have her care, have her show any compassion, but even if I did, I wouldn't get it. I wish she weren't my godmother so I wouldn't have to care about her beyond being a member of my extended family. But I'm old-fashioned, I believe that it's special to have godparents, and every one of my other siblings seems to get along so well with theirs...maybe it's jealousy, but it just plain hurts that I get the heartless bitch who thinks of her goddaughter in terms of dollar signs.
Sigh. I really want to laugh, marvel at how she managed to stoop below my lowest expectations, but it's too mean of her for me to do that. I'm just going to have to get over caring about her interest in my life. Her loss, I guess. I will learn not to be jealous of my siblings in this respect and just accept that while I can't help my relations and their neuroses, I don't have to let them ruin my good time. Maybe I'll send her a copy of my graduation photos as a dig. She's got thick skin--she'll miss it, but I'll feel better.
I get an email today asking where the money is for the maid and if I hid it someplace....I'm going 'huh?' all the while knowing I can't tell her "We didn't think we had to pay" because that will A) earn me a lecture and B) probably get me banned from the place for life (like everything else). I wrote her promising to send a check, and, because she mentioned nothing about how nicely we cleaned up on our own or the nice presents we left, made a rather pointed reminder that wow, weren't we swell for what we did?
E-mail back from aunt says 'no worries, send check to her by mail, maid already paid for' or words to that effect. Then there's another e-mail that says "Fuck it, consider it your birthday/graduation present since I'll prolly forget to send you one anyway."
Wait, wait. Let that sink in. No, no, you're not paying attention. My not paying for a maid to clean her house is my birthday AND graduation present. Maybe you're not getting it: IN EXCHANGE FOR NOT HAVING TO PAY SOMEONE TO CLEAN HER HOUSE, MY AUNT IS KIND ENOUGH TO ALLOW ME TO HAVE THAT FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND GRADUATION PRESENT.
Did I mention that this is my Godmother??? This is the woman who is supposed, according to tradition, to look after me like a second mother or at least pretend she does by sending me cards on special occasions. She only just started doing that sometime in high school, and even then her cards were more about why her family's affairs were more important, hence the lateness of the card. She sent me money for my graduation from high school and my family nearly fainted. So, being the great Godmother that she is, she's willing to let my sin be cleansed and let our one mistake with her house be taken out of her responsibility to me as a goddaughter. Her responsibility to me is NOT to give me stuff--don't think I'm whining about that, please--her responsibility to me is to give a fuck. Basically, instead, what she's said here is that she now has carte blanche to once more have nothing to do with me on a personal level because she had to---HAD TO MY ASS THE PLACE WAS PLENTY CLEAN--pay for a maid to clean up my and my friends' non-existant mess.
I honestly don't know whether to laugh at this or be upset. It's one of my aunt's trade-mark behaviors--it's so shockingly RUDE and she lets you know how she feels in such terse, unfeeling language that you want to laugh because she can't be serious but she is. She really has no clue how hurtful, spiteful, and awful she is--she thinks she's doing me some favor by letting me off with $100 I owe her maid. If I were to say word one, I'd be an ingrate. I'd rather pay her and have her care, have her show any compassion, but even if I did, I wouldn't get it. I wish she weren't my godmother so I wouldn't have to care about her beyond being a member of my extended family. But I'm old-fashioned, I believe that it's special to have godparents, and every one of my other siblings seems to get along so well with theirs...maybe it's jealousy, but it just plain hurts that I get the heartless bitch who thinks of her goddaughter in terms of dollar signs.
Sigh. I really want to laugh, marvel at how she managed to stoop below my lowest expectations, but it's too mean of her for me to do that. I'm just going to have to get over caring about her interest in my life. Her loss, I guess. I will learn not to be jealous of my siblings in this respect and just accept that while I can't help my relations and their neuroses, I don't have to let them ruin my good time. Maybe I'll send her a copy of my graduation photos as a dig. She's got thick skin--she'll miss it, but I'll feel better.
