Babies!

God help you all, but someone I talked to recently mentioned the suspicious lack of kitten pictures. I took a bunch of great ones tonight. Here they are in narrative form (because these pictures were totally not staged in any way ::nods:: ):

Oscar spies a strange, vaguely threatening creature. "What could it be? Maybe it's friendly...AH! VILLAINY! It's after me! I will tear its legs off and then I will get nasty." Watch out for the acid blood, Oscar!

"Oh no! Acid blood! I will run and hide in Mommy's room. Heh, that thing is so stupid, it will never find me here. I am the smartest kitty ever! Wait, what's that sound...?" I don't think we're alone. It followed us! "Great. It's trying to mate with my head."

After much struggling, the dreaded facehugger was defeated. "It may have acid blood, but I weigh more. Stupid Alien, you go squish now!" Victory! Or maybe not. Note for all future space explorers: cats are great for hunting Aliens, but they fall down when it comes to the eggs. Just FYI.

Alas, poor Fuchsia the Facehugger is all alone now. All she wanted to do was play. She skitters away in search of a new friend. "Maybe Wally will be my friend." After a moment of confusion, Wally goes back to sleep, happily accepting Fuchsia for who she is (i.e. ignoring her).

(no subject)

I think playing around with Fuchsia right before bed was not a good idea. I had a dream about a class trip to a space station that was riddled not only with Aliens but with Predators as well.

The first shuttle to the station exploded, too, which didn't help, and then I somehow managed to get off the death station and back to some kind of space hub. The entire class was spooked by, you know, all the death they experienced, but they got right back on line to go back! Because what were the odds there would still be an infestation of deadly creatures when they went this time!? THERE WERE CHEST-BURSTERS COMING OUT OF THEIR CLASSMATES' BODIES AND THEY WERE STILL WILLING TO GO THERE! A PREDATOR WRIST-BLADED SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF AND THEY WERE STILL ON THE LINE!!!

I, however, was way too smart, and I ran away from the class and found someone--anyone--who'd agree to take me on as long as I didn't have to go back with my class. I got roped into something like indentured servitude as a mechanic on a ship that was going to Saturn. Fine, whatever--I can turn bolts for ten years if it means I don't die a painful, horrible death. I had to hide while I waited to depart with my new shipmates because there were people still looking for me to make me go back.

Eventually, one found me and tried to tell me that the class shuttle would not blow up this time. No one--despite the eye-witness testimony and general acceptance of the population that Aliens did, in fact, exist--would believe I was scared to go back for any other reason than that I was afraid of another shuttle explosion, which seems like a logical fear given the fact that I survived one. No mercy. I eventually got one of the crew I'd signed on with to pull up a scanner of the space station. It looked like that blue-ish thermal map from Resident Evil where there are lines to show floors and structures and colors to show moving people and creatures. Sure enough, all the people were running or cowering BECAUSE THERE WERE ALIENS ALL OVER THE GODDAMNED PLACE. I even got to watch, on the 3D electronic blueprint, as a Predator collected a trophy.

"Yep," I said, insanely pleased with myself. "I'm not going back there." The guy trying to make me just looked horrified. And yet? STILL DETERMINED TO MAKE ME. Because doing his job was more important than not sending me to my death. Ugh.

(no subject)

Law-type persons, can you confirm for me that cannibalim--specifically the act of one human ingesting the flesh of another--is illegal in the United States? KTHNXBYE.


(I'm talking only about the eating. Not about the killing to get the body or trafficking in body parts. Those, I'm comfortably sure are illegal).