Only NOW is it appropriate to start in on the Christmas stuff

Two weeks ago, I went into a store to pick up birthday gifts for a couple of people, and I was already commiserating with the lady working at Barnes and Noble about the fact that they had Christmas music playing. (And not just Christmas music, but covers of Christmas staples. Worse, covers by Mariah Carey.) I know this is a yearly complaint, but it seems like Christmas started ridiculously early this year. Well before that trip out to pick up presents, I swear I'd seen most stores festooned for Christmas before Halloween junk was even fully taken apart. (Thanksgiving says what?)

However, it is now December 1st, so I suppose I just have to get over it. Perhaps the insanely advanced onset of Christmas is part of the desperation with the financial situation these days. Retailers really, really, really want you to remember you still need to do your patriotic duty and spend money you can't afford to spend on junk neither you nor your loved ones needs. (At any cost, shop.)

I, myself, won't be participating this year. I really like shopping for friends and family for the most part, but I've decided to scale back. So this is me apologizing for not being able to provide Christmas presents per my usual. I'm going to do my best to make sure birthday gifts are even more wonderful to compensate as best I can. I don't know how to say this without sounding presumptuous, but anyone who was thinking of giving me anything should just save their pennies and wish a "Happy Holidays" instead.

In a weird way, I'm actually sort of hoping that, for the most part, this becomes the tradition. Like I said, I will miss not shopping for people, but I really loathe Christmas shopping season. I'd infinitely prefer to just hang out with people more and do fun activities in that space and avoid retail shops altogether (as much as is humanly possible, what with as many birthdays as I've got in the months of November-December). How's that sound?

The wages of Thanksgiving

In a truly bizarre sort of logic, the Wii tells me (via Wii Fit), that I've dropped 14 years in "physical age" despite the fact that the modest weight I've lost since I started exercising all came back over the holiday. I have really good balance, I suppose.

You'd think I was trying to buy plutonium

I have a new story about why I'm sort of glad not to be doing too much shopping this holiday season.

I went into Rite Aid to buy some batteries. (My elliptical machine died on me the other day.) I needed four D batteries, and the four-pack happened to be on sale: buy two, get one free. I only needed the one pack, but what the hell: three means I don't have to buy new ones for like a year. (Judging by the life of the last set.) I stood in one of the ridiculously long lines, got up to the front and watched carefully to be sure that the sale rang up properly. Of course, it didn't, so I corrected the saleslady.

No, actually, those batteries aren't on sale, I was told. I was shown the ones she thought were (a twelve-pack of AAs). I assured her that the ticket (which I had checked and re-checked at least three times, one for each pack) said otherwise. She argued with me, covering the same ground about five times--"Give in, this is the only kind of battery on sale;" "No, actually, it isn't"--before checking a copy of the store circular. No sale in there. "Give up, these just aren't on sale." "I think you'll find they are." We both left the counter to check. (People behind me = contemplating murdering me.) She at first denied what the ticket said then actually read it. Oh, they are on sale.

But we're not done yet! She's a new hire, so she needed the manager's help figuring out how to ring up the purchase. The manager came over (so all the people on her line now hate me) and started the process of denial all over again. "Nuh-uh, those batteries aren't on sale." The saleslady and I, this time in concert, "Yes, they are." The saleslady then had to go fetch the sticker to prove it. (I understand not taking my word for it, but a fellow employee ought to at least get the benefit of the doubt.) It then took another two-three tries to get both saleslady and manager together in concert both to override the register's objection to giving me free shit and to allow my credit card to pay for it.

I'm lucky I got out of there alive, if the looks I was getting were at all indicative of what people were wishing to do to me. Don't get me wrong, I was in retail, I appreciate how obnoxious customers are and can be. And I don't envy them the "joy" of working during this season, but sheeeesh.