30 Day Movie Challenge - Day 09

Day 09 - A movie that you know practically the whole script of

Oh, like any of you are surprised. I was listening to my iPod on shuffle this morning, and Rob Dougan's "Clubbed to Death" came on just as I was forced to put my book away because of crowding on the bus. I totally fell into it in a way I hadn't in a while. Excellent soundtrack in general, excellent track to really lose yourself in while trying to ignore other people shoving you around.

Of course, I started in on the whole scene it plays over. "Were you listening to me, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress?"

"I was..."

"Look again." SURPRISE. IT IS HUGO WEAVING. "Freeze it."

"This...this isn't the Matrix?"

"No. It's another training program designed to teach you one thing: if you are not one of us, you are one of them."

"What are they?"

Oh god. I should just stop. The point is, I can quote all the great lines from any of the movies I listed as my favorite comedies until other people get nauseated. But the only movie I ever memorized all of the intervening dialogue from was The Matrix. True story: in high school, I sat down at an abandoned typewriter in a random unused wing of the school, and typed out the script from memory. At that time, I'd only seen the movie maybe six times. (I would go on to see it twelve times in theaters.) I might have missed a comma here or there, but I didn't miss a single line of dialogue. Even my friend E, who'd gone with me to every screening, was a little frightened of me.

The fact that I can still pull half the movie or better out of my head is even more frightening considering that I haven't watched The Matrix in seven years. I couldn't. The sequels were so bad, they ruined the first movie for me. Little by little, I forget them, and then I can watch the first one without wanting to die. I might even enjoy it again.

Day 01
Day 02
Day 03 - 06
Day 07
Day 08

::pouts::

There's a national blood shortage. Okay, so there is usually a blood shortage. I'm just more upset than usual because I can't possibly donate or my doctor will murder me. That, and I might just up and die before he gets the chance. I cannot believe I had such a bad reaction the last time. I'm not giving up utterly. I will work on being really, really good about exercising and taking multivitamins and eating better (things I intended to do anyway) and see if I can't muster up the wherewithal to go donate in a few months time.

But for the rest of you that can donate, please consider it?

How to know you're on the side of evil: A primer for dicksmackers the world over

(This primer brought to you courtesy of this article at The New York Times. h/t moonlightalice)

Lesson 1: If you find yourself making the brutal murder of someone into a story about how you, the not-at-all-persecuted, let-alone-dead person are finding it really hard to be called mean names, congratulations, you're on the side of evil.

Example: “Naturally, I don’t want anyone killed but I don’t feel I had anything to do with that,” said Mr. Schmierer, who added that in Uganda he had focused on parenting skills. He also said that he had been a target of threats himself, recently receiving more than 600 hate mails related to his visit. “I spoke to help people,” he said, “and I’m getting bludgeoned from one end to the other.”

Note: Ms. Schmierer uses the word "bludgeoned" in regards to his own imaginary persecution when, in fact, such a term is better used to describe what was done to an innocent man who was so unfortunate as to live in a country full of murderous zealots. This earns him extra cockwhacker points. Sarah Palin ain't got nothing on this guy's sense of victimhood.

Lesson 2: If this guy is on your side, you are on the side of evil:

Uganda’s minister of ethics and integrity, James Nsaba Buturo, a devout Christian, has said “Homosexuals can forget about human rights.”

Lesson 3: If you seriously intend to argue against Lesson 2, you are on the side of evil.

Any questions?