"This feels like our grave."

You guys? PRIEST DID NOT DISAPPOINT. From literally The. First. Line. it was, to borrow glvalentine 's apt descriptor, SHITMAZING.

I felt almost obnoxious seeing this in the theaters because from the first line--that would be the subject title of this post, by the by--it was the best bad movie I've seen in forever, and I couldn't stop laughing. We were being totally obnoxious, and thank god the rest of the audience didn't give a crap. Some lady was reading her book at the end. Another guy gave up before the film was thirty minutes in and started playing games on his phone. It was that wonderfully awful.

I don't know that if I'd gotten to see Drive Angry that it could keep up with Karl Urban's horrible dialogue and complete disinterest in acting. Karl Urban had probably the coolest character design and did as little as fucking possible with it. He made Cam Gigandet look like a member of the Royal Shakespeare Society. This is the worst performance of his that I've seen, and I've seen Ghost Ship. And Chronicles of Riddick. It was so bad it was coming back the other way to being brilliant. You're welcome to suggest to me movies in which his acting was worse. I won't believe you, but you're welcome to do it. It was so awful, I laughed every time he--all twenty tons of him, judging from the sound cues following his footsteps--was forced to be onscreen and be evil.

It's just that much funnier because everyone else thinks they're in SRZ VAMPR BZNS: TEH MOVIE. I think only Karl Urban had any idea of how little it was worth it to pretend that the not-at-all-telegraphed (note: sarcasm) plot was going to be at all interesting. So he went to the dark side, refused to act, and the movie just had to figure out how to keep going around him. Points to Maggie Q, her one action scene led to her kicking more ass than all the rest of the fighters in the movie put together. But even she could not slay the power that is Karl Urban: Not Giving A Shit.

Oh man, ::wipes at tears of laughter:: I have been looking forward to this, and it delivered. If the rest of the summer could be as well received as the month of May thus far, I'm going to have a very good summer indeed.

Ouch

I am not someone who minds going to the dentist. ( Yes, most people think I'm a freak. )

So, yeah, I'm good for six months, my mouth feels well and truly abused, and I'm going to the Met to see the Alexander McQueen exhibit today. I'm a little miffed that people in my lab actually dressed up a bit for this outing. So what if it's not the Superheroes and Fashion exhibit of yesteryear? I believe in being comfortable at a museum, and fancy shoes and skirts do not equal me being comfortable. That, and because I have no sense of how to dress myself, I have nothing that stretches the divide between my every-day clothes (jeans, zip-up hoodie/fleece, a nerdy t-shirt--today it's Dr. Horrible, and two people have already inquired as to who is on my shirt this morning) and fancy stuff. Fuck it. I'll be the schlub at the high-fashion whatsis. At least I'll be comfortable.