You may leave the runway, asshats

[trinityvixen]

The designers of Project Runway clearly have a formula. Most reality shows do, to be fair. You turn on American Idol for the terrible auditions episode and to hear Simon Cowell be evil and mean with a British accent. Apparently, Rockstar's formula is to stretch a half-hour show to twice the length by constantly saying how amazing the contestants are, brah'. Project Runway's schtick is to have Heidi Klum repeat herself TWENTY F'ING TIMES and to make sure that Tim Gunn constantly hates just about everything he sees (note: people who are doing well in a challenge? Rarely talk to him for longer than five seconds onscreen). That's fine. I grind my teeth when Heidi Klum comes on to say "As you know, in the fashion world, one moment you're in and the next you're out," because a) if they know that, why is she saying it, and b) she says it at least twice per episode, but that's her thing because, really, besides verbalizing the judgment of the other judges, what does she have to do?

What I don't like? The champagne toast. I noticed this after reading some TWoP reviews and the reviewer was like, "Oh, yay, another toast." You know what really bugs me about that? One of the remaining contestants is a recovering alcoholic. Every time they toast, you can clearly see that his flute is filled with ice water, which, good for him. The fact that I think he's fucking hilariously evil aside, I feel for the guy because basically they're shoving his former poison under his nose every two seconds. No wonder he's so irritable all the time. Seriously, the champagne thing is a waste of time, meant to do nothing but celebrate meaningless milestones ("Hooray! Another episode! Drink!") and basically torture this one guy. If it's already a waste of time, and they know he's a recovering alcoholic, couldn't they do something else? It's one thing to denigrate the guy's clothes and his lack of range when it comes to design, but to sit and tempt him like that all the fucking time? Damn, I know he won't win, but I kind of want him to just to see what they do. I hope he breaks a champagne bottle open over Heidi's fucking head.

I will miss Kayne. He was silly as all get out, but he was adventurous, and lively, and different. It's amazing how little they appreciated his style, especially in the couture episode which I think he had the most amazing dress in (maybe not the most amazing couture dress, but a beautiful gown that was innovative and looked fantastic on both his models). Mostly, he was just fun. With Laura, everything is snippy and mature and boring. Uli is a good designer--she got robbed on the cocktail dress challenge, I tell you, hers was popping-out-of-the-screen awesome--but she's really serious despite her Miami style. Michael is earnest, an all-around nice guy and he'll probably win because he's the most versatile designer left. Jeffrey, whom I really do adore, isn't lively, he's just snarky. You need someone there to lighten the mood now that it's super-serious competition time, and Kayne was it.

It's still exactly what I knew would happen, which is maybe why the appeal is diminishing at this point. I figure, barring catastrophe, Michael, Jeffrey, Uli for the final three, with Jeffrey being the only real wild card slot there (after her recent win, Laura might sneak in ahead of him). I guessed Kayne would be off tonight and then Laura next week. They tried to throw us by sticking Angela and Vincent back in there (and they were right back out, thank God), but I knew Kayne would be out with them because neither of them have the talent of the other four. Vincent's win in the design for the everyday woman was a fluke and he really robbed Uli (again, the poor dear) and Michael, each of whom had a fun, funky, personalized outfit compared to Vincent's more staid, predictable, drab (but, I guess, better somehow) lapel dress.

Anyway, yeah, it's how I thought this would throw down, but I'm still sad to see Kayne go. Crossing my fingers for Jeffrey, Uli, and Michael next week.

Comments

I hate you for liking Jeffrey!!

[(Anonymous)]

Jeffrey's an asshole, don't know if you saw the episode where they had to design for the other designers' relatives, but he was a complete dick to Angela's mother. He's been terrible to Angela for no good reason. She sucks, granted, but he's been out of line too much for me to like him. I'm surprised you don't like Laura more, she's awesome, she has a low bullshit tolerance (she's told off several of the designers, and told them the truth when they were under the delusion they made good dresses), and brushed off the anxiety of having a 6th child because "when it's 5, 6, or 7 kids it makes no difference, you just throw another one on the pile." Also, both her and Heidi are pregnant, so they can't drink either. If I was stressed out from challenges and being preggo I'd be mad they kept tempting me with champagne, too, so I don't feel much sympathy for Jeffrey. Probably because I hate him so bad. Maybe if you watch the whole season you'll have a different perspective on everyone. I think Michael's the only lock for the final three, and I'm glad b/c he's my favorite. The other 3 are all guilty of doing the same thing every week, from the very beginning. But since I like Laura and Uli better than Jeffrey, I hope that they are in the final 3 with Michael.

--Liz M.

Re: I hate you for liking Jeffrey!!

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I did see the one where he designed for Angela's mom, but I found that whole episode incredibly maddening and hideous, mostly because they kept making out like the normal women were some sort of freaks for being double-digit sized, and it wasn't a fair challenge at all since you had like Robert's sister in there who's young, slim, and pretty. Jeffrey was a total asshole, but Angela was a total wimp. If anyone made my mother cry? Fuck the rules, I would have taken scissors to his outfit. I would have been kicked off, but my mother would be avenged.

I also saw that episode after I saw the two where Jeffrey won, so I saw him in a nicer light first then asshole-y second. He was being an ass with Angela again (notice how, once she joined the group he was suddenly on the opposite side of the group from her?), but somehow he amuses me with his asshattery.

Laura strikes me as a hypocrite. When they were on the couture challenge, she said she feared Kayne would be mocked to pieces, but it sounded hollow. She was really just mocking him and making it sound like she was concerned. I prefer Jeffrey who was llike "Who cares?" At least he's straight forward about it. And boo-hoo, she can't have champagne for nine months. It's not like she was ever addicted to it and can't ever have it again for fear of falling into a life-long (possibly life-ending) dependence. It's nice that her pregnancy isn't slowing her down (plus, it paces the show--you can tell how much time has passed between challenges as she gets bumpier), but her designs are so tame and boring half of the time. Her couture dress scared the pants off me--her French model looked like a porcelain doll, and it played vamptastic on her American model (though not as bad as Angela's cocktail dress did).

I like Uli a lot, actually, as her stuff seems to be beautiful all the time, even if it's a tad predictable. Michael, though, he'll win. He's got taste, style, grace, and like they said last night, a good overall eye for just about everything. I just kinda like Jeffrey as the dark horse.

[(Anonymous)]

P.S. Uli's was not popping-out-of-screen awesome (although I did like it), TopAmericanDesignerMichaelKorz was right, the necklace was distracting (it was a good idea for a way to use the extra fabric, though), and the sleeves were too long. MICHAEL #1 FOREVER

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Fuck you! I loved her longer sleeves. The necklace was meh, but that's her style with the long drape-y bits. I loved the pattern, the cut was stylish, and the sleeves were gorgeous. Picking on her for the sleeves was stupid, though I grant the necklace was a bit much.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

P.P.S.--Heidi's favorite judge is Nina Garcia. Listen to how she says her name next time you watch; it's clear that, with her German-ity, Heidi hasn't met enough Latinas with fun names to say. She accents Neeeeeeena Garrrrrrcia sooooo much.