I would say they all choose it. There are always options. I used to go to Chase Park in Scarsdale in the middle of the day when I was working from home, and only ever see the little tykes with day-care workers instead of parents. Those parents chose to have the huge house that required two incomes to keep; either parent could've chosen different.
Even if the situation you describe is the case the bulk of the time, it's just as easy to say that the man is "forced" to go back to work as it is to say that the woman is "forced" not to. I'm not saying that men are penalized by making more than women, but the crux of the issue is the elimination of choice. Once we're talking about a couple, their incomes are effectively one, and the disparity affects them both.
No, MJ wasn't a housewife. She was a model. That's just as debasing, if not moreso. I'm not saying that the implication of her "secret desire" to be a housewife wouldn't be offensive, I'm saying that that implication is not present. I often say that one is not a statistically significant sample, so I don't know why you'd take one piece with no context and read all that into it.
Look, someone's gotta do it. What does it matter what the division of labor is as long as everyone's doing their fair share? Appreciation is more than the person who works usually gets for paying the bills. I've never heard anyone say, "Hey, thanks for working your ass off to pay for the house and the electricity and the heat and the...." But every night I thanked my mom for dinner and I thank M on the nights she makes it now. I might be a rabid capitalist in the larger social context, but in the home, labor and the fruits of that labor are all communal. If thanks aren't enough for work that SOMEONE has to do, I can't see a solution.
Look, I sure as hell didn't mean to insult your mother, and I think the fact that you read it as an insult proves my point. Ask any (good) parent, whether they work or not, they'll tell you that raising their children is the most important, rewarding, and fulfilling thing they do. You're choosing not to have kids, so you'll be able to devote as much time as you like to your career. I don't think that's wrong even though it's not what I choose for myself, and you shouldn't think it's wrong when anyone else chooses different from you. Quite honestly, if both people in a relationship want do devote so much time to their careers, I think they shouldn't have kids in the first place. Yes, kids are expensive, they're also time-consuming. Again, it all comes down to choices. I also admit that I don't know very much about your family, so I don't know what you mean when you say she "couldn't" keep working because of biases, and can't speak to that. I do apologize for how my remark was taken, anyway.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 04:37 pm (UTC)Even if the situation you describe is the case the bulk of the time, it's just as easy to say that the man is "forced" to go back to work as it is to say that the woman is "forced" not to. I'm not saying that men are penalized by making more than women, but the crux of the issue is the elimination of choice. Once we're talking about a couple, their incomes are effectively one, and the disparity affects them both.
No, MJ wasn't a housewife. She was a model. That's just as debasing, if not moreso. I'm not saying that the implication of her "secret desire" to be a housewife wouldn't be offensive, I'm saying that that implication is not present. I often say that one is not a statistically significant sample, so I don't know why you'd take one piece with no context and read all that into it.
Look, someone's gotta do it. What does it matter what the division of labor is as long as everyone's doing their fair share? Appreciation is more than the person who works usually gets for paying the bills. I've never heard anyone say, "Hey, thanks for working your ass off to pay for the house and the electricity and the heat and the...." But every night I thanked my mom for dinner and I thank M on the nights she makes it now. I might be a rabid capitalist in the larger social context, but in the home, labor and the fruits of that labor are all communal. If thanks aren't enough for work that SOMEONE has to do, I can't see a solution.
Look, I sure as hell didn't mean to insult your mother, and I think the fact that you read it as an insult proves my point. Ask any (good) parent, whether they work or not, they'll tell you that raising their children is the most important, rewarding, and fulfilling thing they do. You're choosing not to have kids, so you'll be able to devote as much time as you like to your career. I don't think that's wrong even though it's not what I choose for myself, and you shouldn't think it's wrong when anyone else chooses different from you. Quite honestly, if both people in a relationship want do devote so much time to their careers, I think they shouldn't have kids in the first place. Yes, kids are expensive, they're also time-consuming. Again, it all comes down to choices. I also admit that I don't know very much about your family, so I don't know what you mean when you say she "couldn't" keep working because of biases, and can't speak to that. I do apologize for how my remark was taken, anyway.