Movies: May
Jun. 10th, 2010 03:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityvixenI'm not even halfway through June and I'm getting this review/list done. I am proud of me! I'm less proud that, nearly halfway through the year, I've not even seen 100 movies. I'll never beat last year's record. ::pouts::
Taken: My parents actually believe white slavers work this way; I was just in it for Liam Neeson kicking ass.
Atlantis: the Lost Empire: Boiler plate, post-Golden-Revival-of-Disney age animation, so not terrible but not so great either.
Adventureland: Better than any movie with Kristen Stewart in it has any right to be and it has an outrageously awesome and authentically period soundtrack.
The Crazies: Although similar in formula to a zombie movie, it made decent use of the psychologically traumatic idea of people you know going randomly crazy and trying to kill you without dying first.
Iron Man 2: Haters gonna hate, but this movie was pretty good--not nearly so brilliant as the original, but there just isn't a way to go back to a time when we didn't expect so much of this franchise that it would have been possible to make it as good.
Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths: To date, the funniest, tightest written direct-to-DVD DC animated movie I've seen.
Choke: I had higher hopes for this, despite not liking the book overly, and it was only so-so. (Except Sam Rockwell, who remains fabulous.)
Weekend at Bernie's: Nobody does screwball like the 1980s did screwball. I'm still not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
The Land that Time Forgot: Fuck You, C. Thomas Howell.
From Dusk Till Dawn: Not gonna lie, I enjoyed this one, even if only for George Clooney playing against type as a total asshole.
Network: The thing that saddens me about this film is that I think it was satirizing network executives who'd do anything for ratings and we are now living in that world.
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans: I thought I'd finish out the series. Why not? It's not like the first one scorched my soul or anything. Even the lamentably bad and infernally dumb sequel wasn't as bad as, say, The Land that Time Forgot. Michael Sheen was in it, too, and when he cuts loose, he chews scenery like a champ. And did I mention that, during a sex scene, he manages to orgasm while the top half of his body is dangling out over a castle roof? His frankly amazing ab strength keeps him horizontal the whole while. That's a man folks. A wolf-man, but a man just the same.
Pandorum: I....don't get it. I mean, I get what they were going for, but I don't get how any of that made sense with what we saw.
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian: Prince Caspian is welcome to rule my Narnia any time he wants, and the Cair Paravel crowd can fuck off. I didn't know they were making another of these movies because I didn't think this one did well. It was fine. Nothing outstanding, but it did well enough.
The Black Dahlia: I guess I shouldn't have expected a conclusive-feeling movie about a famous unsolved murder, but I didn't expect this crap.
It's Complicated: Holy God, this was too funny. Meryl Streep is so gorgeous. I thought that guy from The Office was going to die, too.
George Carlin: Life is Worth Losing: Eh, not his best material.
The Dead Zone: i don't know which was more unfortunate: Christopher Walken's hair or the utter lack of drama that having precognitive powers should have generated.
Malice in Wonderland: I kinda dug this trippy little mess, mostly because the nonsensical story with no true resolution is probably closer to the book than most adaptations get.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time: I shall not tell a lie: I had fun laughing with and at this movie such that I don't begrudge its being a mediocre stab at something like the humor/drama that The Mummy pulled off.
Robin Hood: DIE IN A FIRE, YOU BORING-ASS MOVIE.
The even shorter version of that list would be an acknowledgment that I saw precisely one amazing movie (that would be Network) and the rest fell on the spectrum of enjoyable to enjoyably bad to MAY IT BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY. C. THOMAS HOWELL!!!!!!!! ::SHAKES FISTS::
Taken: My parents actually believe white slavers work this way; I was just in it for Liam Neeson kicking ass.
Atlantis: the Lost Empire: Boiler plate, post-Golden-Revival-of-Disney age animation, so not terrible but not so great either.
Adventureland: Better than any movie with Kristen Stewart in it has any right to be and it has an outrageously awesome and authentically period soundtrack.
The Crazies: Although similar in formula to a zombie movie, it made decent use of the psychologically traumatic idea of people you know going randomly crazy and trying to kill you without dying first.
Iron Man 2: Haters gonna hate, but this movie was pretty good--not nearly so brilliant as the original, but there just isn't a way to go back to a time when we didn't expect so much of this franchise that it would have been possible to make it as good.
Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths: To date, the funniest, tightest written direct-to-DVD DC animated movie I've seen.
Choke: I had higher hopes for this, despite not liking the book overly, and it was only so-so. (Except Sam Rockwell, who remains fabulous.)
Weekend at Bernie's: Nobody does screwball like the 1980s did screwball. I'm still not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.
The Land that Time Forgot: Fuck You, C. Thomas Howell.
From Dusk Till Dawn: Not gonna lie, I enjoyed this one, even if only for George Clooney playing against type as a total asshole.
Network: The thing that saddens me about this film is that I think it was satirizing network executives who'd do anything for ratings and we are now living in that world.
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans: I thought I'd finish out the series. Why not? It's not like the first one scorched my soul or anything. Even the lamentably bad and infernally dumb sequel wasn't as bad as, say, The Land that Time Forgot. Michael Sheen was in it, too, and when he cuts loose, he chews scenery like a champ. And did I mention that, during a sex scene, he manages to orgasm while the top half of his body is dangling out over a castle roof? His frankly amazing ab strength keeps him horizontal the whole while. That's a man folks. A wolf-man, but a man just the same.
Pandorum: I....don't get it. I mean, I get what they were going for, but I don't get how any of that made sense with what we saw.
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian: Prince Caspian is welcome to rule my Narnia any time he wants, and the Cair Paravel crowd can fuck off. I didn't know they were making another of these movies because I didn't think this one did well. It was fine. Nothing outstanding, but it did well enough.
The Black Dahlia: I guess I shouldn't have expected a conclusive-feeling movie about a famous unsolved murder, but I didn't expect this crap.
It's Complicated: Holy God, this was too funny. Meryl Streep is so gorgeous. I thought that guy from The Office was going to die, too.
George Carlin: Life is Worth Losing: Eh, not his best material.
The Dead Zone: i don't know which was more unfortunate: Christopher Walken's hair or the utter lack of drama that having precognitive powers should have generated.
Malice in Wonderland: I kinda dug this trippy little mess, mostly because the nonsensical story with no true resolution is probably closer to the book than most adaptations get.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time: I shall not tell a lie: I had fun laughing with and at this movie such that I don't begrudge its being a mediocre stab at something like the humor/drama that The Mummy pulled off.
Robin Hood: DIE IN A FIRE, YOU BORING-ASS MOVIE.
The even shorter version of that list would be an acknowledgment that I saw precisely one amazing movie (that would be Network) and the rest fell on the spectrum of enjoyable to enjoyably bad to MAY IT BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY. C. THOMAS HOWELL!!!!!!!! ::SHAKES FISTS::
