Some weekend

[trinityvixen]

I did a ton of stuff this weekend. I volunteered (though not as much as I should have--more on that in a sec), saw a ton of people, played a bunch of card games (in which I was handedly dumped on because I advertised that I believe being ruthless is victory--might have tipped my hand too early there), and got to go peruse Michael's with my former roommate for some invitation ideas. I even put in some time with The Darkness video game, which I had a new urging to play after coming back from the 30-minute demo at PAX East. I played Rock Band, people. I hadn't done that in ages. I ended up staying up too late customizing a character and a logo for my band, which lead to me oversleeping on Sunday and canceling volunteering that day.

Karma came for me with a vengeance as a result, alas. Fully intending to continue on, eating and breaking hearts as Jackie Estacado, I took a break from gaming (instead of volunteering! my guilt! let me show you it!) to have some cheese. I had some aged gouda that I'd picked up and that would have made a lovely snack. It's a hard cheese, so I thought I'd chip away at it with a knife.

....guess how well that went? In a second, I sliced deep into my index finger. This is probably the deepest I've ever cut myself, though I did once cut that same exact spot with an exacto knife once. I could see a few millimeters through the cut which led to a minor freakout. I thought I was going to die. Or have to go to the hospital to get stitches, which is just as bad because there would have gone my Sunday. My roommates were super awesome--and awesomely prepared--with sterile gauze, antibacterial gel, and pressure bandage to help me out. They also, very sweetly, sat around while I played more video games (holding my controller over my head to make the blood stop gushing from my finger) to make sure I wasn't going to need to go to the hospital. It bled a little every time I changed the bandage, so I went to be Sunday still tempted to go to my doctor to check it on Monday, still half-convinced that my finger was going to fall off. Typing was really hard because I couldn't put pressure on my index finger without it throbbing a bit (I think it was jarring the still-closing wound). Which is why I'm typing this today, not yesterday.

Perhaps you can tell that when it comes to injury, I'm a total and complete wuss. Sickness I can usually handle, and I'm not a hyperchondriac. But one little scrape, and suddenly I have visions of myself dying of sepsis. This is healthy. Anyway, today I'm oodles better, can type just fine, and I'm down to a band-aid instead of gauze-and-bandage. I'm even doing stuff with fine motor work! I am still shying clear of all scalpels, razor blades and overly sharp scissors at work, though.I wish I could say that I'm going to remember this the next time I decide to pierce myself, but a) I hope that never happens again, and b) I'm sure I'll still freak out about losing digits if it does.

None of that is hyperbole, by the by. I was really that worried. I need to remember that my life is not a Victorian moral and that I'm not literally going to be poisoned by cheese knife to death as revenge for not volunteering to save poor, defenseless kittens. 

Comments

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

I just looked up the etymology of hypochondriac (which is the word you were looking for) and apparently it means "below cartilage" and refers to the upper part of the abdomen. No idea how it drifted to its modern meaning.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Did not know that. Interesting. I also misspelled hypochondriac. Oops.

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

Also, sucks about the finger! My dad once landed in the ER because he licked the carving knife. It's always something stupid like that that, once you think back on, you realize you shouldn't have done.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

My brother had stitches in his tongue twice for that reason. I'm just glad that this time I didn't need them. I've gone twenty years without getting stitches. I was hoping to keep that streak going.

[shell524.livejournal.com]

!!!! Who in the world actually thinks that's a good idea?? (Your dad obviously DID, but I hope he learned better!)

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Tell that to bigscary. He plays with knives near his damn eyes all the time for no reason.

[negativeq.livejournal.com]

I clean up and bandage him on a regular basis.

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

I also tend to freak out a bit from cuts--both the time I gouged my thumb chopping vegetables or the time I granted my knuckle peeling beets, it took seemingly forever to stop the bleeding and I was convinced the feeling of impending doom meant I was going into shock...

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

It's unnerving to see blood welling up so readily. Most cuts are minor bleeds or scratches, but this was more freely (and quickly) bleeding and it makes my mind leap to immediate horror. Not at blood per se, but at the idea of me bleeding out from a goddamned cut in my finger. I'm glad I'm not a hemophiliac...

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

It's probably best that you're planning on vet school instead of med school--hopefully, you won't start trying to convince yourself you've got some rare equine disease?

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Except that I can still worry about the zoonotic diseases like rabies and Toxoplasmosis. I already worry about those when I get bad scratches or the odd bite at the shelter. It's funny though: at our training, I was dismissive of the people who were so worried about rabies. One cat bit me as a warning and it just happened to scrape--not even puncture!--the skin open and I spent a weekend worrying about rabies enough to ask my doctor if he thought I needed a shot.

I'm telling you, it's the cuts and scratches that will kill me.

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

Rabies is frickin' scary! There's a vaccine, but if you don't get it soon enough there is no cure.

...I'm not helping, am I?

Also, right there with you in the hypochondriacking. A few weeks ago I managed to half convince myself I must have diabetes because I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of a movie. Frequent urination is a symptom! It's also the result of chugging a lot of water...

[fairest.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I hyperventilated just READING this. I am glad you are okay and your finger is on the mend. What a horrible turn for the weekend to take.

*twitches*

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I thought I might hear from you about this. I don't have a prevailing fear of knives (I have a completely healthy immediate dislike of them) like you, but I suddenly see how one could develop such fears.

[viridian.livejournal.com]

lol, I'm sorry for giggling because I'm sure it hurt and sucked, but if you can still play video games while gushing blood, it's safe to say you don't need to go to the hospital.

Then again, I probably would have done the same even if I did have to go to the hospital, because all my hypochondria about MYSTERY ILLNESS does not actually extend to injuries and I fail to be alarmed at gushing blood. I credit the number of times I've stepped on glass.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Hee, you're totally right and I admit it. I was so stubborn. I was like, "But I need to get to a saaaaave point!" That, and I still wanted the cheese that nearly got me amputated.