trinityvixen | I have apparently been...what's the word? "Punk'd"?

This morning I saw a review from the girl I lambasted on the GAFF boards. Now, I was all set to be 'nice' and merely ask the rest of my LJ for permission to mock it all to hell (having only casually glanced at the poor spelling et al.) when I scrolled down in the process of copying and found that it was all a joke. Very funny,

feiran, good for you. It would be more hilarious if it weren't almost exactly what I would expect from that author.

Hi maridian okay first of all:

i fund your emai on ff.net after your horribe review.

okay first:
i for one will be polite and say thanks for ewiviewing my story becayse I really want to get a better wirter. any help even from TROLS LIKE YOU ARE is apreciated because constructive ctirizism is useful to people wanting to gt improved. but now that i've been nice i have to say YOU ARE A TERRIBLE REVIEWD. What do you khow about blade anyway!!1! Its onl y a movie and its only fanfiction anyway so I can take libertys and make things aqbout teh story the way I want. Its called FLEXIBILITY and AUTHORS PREROGATIVE. Please try and sispend disbelief l,ong enough to try and get the point of teh chapter!!!

If I left you a review that ONLY discussed your flagrant abuse of the English
language, I would be writing until Labor Day. Not only have you gotten the
'your' wrong in your title, you continue to eschew common practices in writing
(such as correct punctuation, spelling, grammar, and word choice) throughout
this travesty of a story.

EVERYBODY MAKES A MISTake. i LOOKED OVER the fanfiction ***SIX TIMES*** trying to get it right and errors i made were mistakes!!! Everybody makes a mistake sometims but if you do best effort its at least TRY*ING.

And do not think that the unfortunate experience stops there. If someone kindly,
masochistically translated this story into working, functional English, it would
still have all the plot of a cereal box cartoon, with none of the enjoyment or
RDA fibre-y goodness.

I"M NOT WRITING CEReAL MERIDIAN I AM WRITING FANFICTION!!!!!!! Cereal doesn't have plots or characters and nobody thught of a vampiredogs plot to takeover America in LUCKY CHARMS or FRANKENBERRY **HELLO**. I have a cohearent pl0ot and chracter develpment and also other people liked my story so obviously your the one having a problem misunderstanding. Or else everybody would have not understood ot!

'Blayde'? Please.

I know it sound slike Blade but BLAYDE is her own chartacter and she is his cloone! So it makes sense that they wold mame her after him. So I realize it can get confusing but also a Y feminizes names and makes them into the woman version someties. I think it is realiztic!

Your butchery of the canon characters is
tantamount to fandom rape, and your original characters pontificate like bad
soap opera stars (worse, I'd wager).

okay look it's open to interpretation when you are writing you're own work, okay? The caracters are saying what needs to be said at that point and you need to wait and see how it makes senxe in teh contaxt of the plot. i think if you gave it time it would work.

Your action makes no sense (why shoot a
vampire to make sure it's dead when they flash-burn as they die?);

IT HAPPEnED AT THE SAME TIME. Blayde hit him and then Hannibel hit him right after, like one=two and so they worked as a pair and then the vampire got k9illed. Maybe i could have make it clearer but i'l; try to clean up the next chapter when it crossesoevr with batmanbegins!!

your original
character is a Mary Sue;

Her nane is BLAYDE, as you so kinldly mentioned BEFOER. Obviously it is not Mary Sue.

and the O, M, and G, 'you are so funny' "Twin
"blaydes"!" line makes my eyes bleed as surely as the vampire whose torture
starts the pain for us all.

fine, i think maybe the tortue was bad becuase i don't know vampires bleed from the eye if hurt we only saw them mostly explodign in the movie. I glad you thought the joke was funny I AM BEING SARCASTIC> I am trying and will improve and I think if I put in some jopkes from Stargate mayb e they would apply but i am studyingother humors so mine gets vetter.

Perhaps he was being made to read other fanfiction
you've written, poor blighter.

I SAID TO YOU THIS WAS MY FRIST STORY. I NEVER WOTE FANFIC BEFORE NAD YOU ARE BEING TERRIBYL HARSH TO ME and okay, I just can't keep writing this crap anymore. I've kept it up more than long enough, and I think I've earned my little giggle.

Oh, chickie. You--HOW YOU SAY--crack my shit up. :-)

PWNED!!

-C

Love you, too, dude, but that's not any more readable. I'm sure it's really a tickler, really.

In other news, this does not diminish my good mood as I woke this morning ripe from a dream about taking Ryan Reynolds on a car trip with my mother and youngest sister. Proof positive that if you spend enough time obsessing, eventually obsessions invade your subconscious. As I remember it, I was bitching and accusing Devin (my sister) of stealing some CD, then saying I had probably lost it anyway. Very witty and charming, I was, and I got my lust object to laugh when I told him I'd even managed to lose my Blade: Trinity soundtrack CD; he had the good grace to look only mildly frightened of me at that point. I think I started talking about how awful that movie shoot was as if I had been there, which made him more and more uncomfortable and which I somehow didn't notice in the dream, but the embarrassment for myself woke me up. Note to self: reading about Wesley Snipes being a pothead with attitude and how it ruined Blade: Trinity does not mean I was ever there to witness it and should avoid making any such comments to lust object if ever we should meet. (However, seeing as we only ever meet in dreams, am fairly confident I will never have to worry about this and that is why

friendofsnarf is the best stalker ever and I am only deputy best stalker ever.