Oh hell, I'll just get these all out of my system, shall I?

[trinityvixen]

Here are some rather wonderful quotes I had for my first paper. I bet you can guess which ones didn't end up making it into the paper (am pretty sure the answer is none, but still without the first clue)

"Revenge of the Nerds, Part X" by Alan Dean Foster
Morpheus is Chewbacca with an advanced degree...
...Not only can he kick sand right back into the faces of the bullies at the beach, he can also outthink and outtalk their interfering parents. So what if we don't know what he's talking about half of the time?
And then there's Trinity. Wear leather. Kicks bad guy butt and early on takes out the baddies picking on poor Neo. Knows computers This last is critical to her appeal to the film's target audience. It says to them that not only can a geek get a babe, you can find one who speaks your language. And doesn't ask for anything. She's just--there. When Neo needs her. Despite her knowledge and abilities she doesn't babble on about stuff, much less girl stuff. The last thing a teenage boy wants in a girlfriend is complexity (the first thing he wants is boobs, but not even Trinity is perfect). Trinity's about as uncomplex as can be. Watching her on the screen, you half get the feeling that if you met her in person and said "Hello" she'd respond with "Press Enter to activate conversation program."
...As for her attitude toward physical affection, well, when she and Neo blast their way into the skyscraper where Morpheus is being held, in an atempt to rescue him from the Agents' interrogration, he and she are having sex--with guns. Check out the look they exchange in the elevator. Positively cyberorgasmic. One thinks "orgy at an NRA convention" (perhaps one should not). We'll leave the endless-resevoir-of-expended-shells-as-ejaculated-sperm analogy for another time.
All that's missing from this crucial scene in "The Matrix" is an open cooler at Neo's right hand overflowing with chilled Brewskis.
(I wish I could remember which scene he was talking about)


"Meditations on the Singular Matrix" by James Patrick Kelly
If this cranky application can hate with such frothing passion, what else might it become passionate about? I'm thinking here that an intelligent creature who hates might also be capable of love. Do Agents keep virtual goldfish, run fantasy baseball leagues, or collect old Microsoft manuals in PDF format in their spare time? Do they meet in dark romantic places to swap moist code?
(ooh, I take it back, I think I used that one)
For example, in a gloriously cheesy moment, we see robots intravenously pumping some black viscous fluid into an unborn fetus while Morpheus' sonorous voice-over informs us that the liquified dead are being fed to the living. Okay, all together now: ewww. And instead of creating a virtual heaven for the stacks of humans under its care, the AIs have condemned them to live in the hell that was...1999
...Our hypothetical advanced culture might have some ethical objections to creating an artificial human race. If Morpheus, the reality snob, were calling the shots, I suspect this might well be the case.

"Reflection in a Cyber Eye" by Karen Haber
If anyone has ever been guilty of making guns sexy, it's the Wachowskis. The NRA should have sent the brothers free lifetime memberships with a letter of gratitude.
Is it his brains and secret powers that qualify him for this role? What makes him The One? Perhaps he just looks better in dark glasses and a long black coat than anybody else in the cast.
Using AI as a bogeyman is not only stylistically boring, it's lazy. After all, there are so many other worthy candidates for bad guys. Pick a name, a state, a constituency. Terrorists. Politicians. Talk show hosts. Martha Stewart. ...give science a break, willya? What has it done to you lately?
(yeah, you'd better stop picking on science--or else we'll all end up doing cinema studies....)


Space Ghost: Prepare your heiny for another blast from the 'spank ray'!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Raphael: He's a mutant rabbit from an alternate dimension, and he's from Japan. So, naturally, he speaks English.

Shredder: Shredder never surrenders
Rocksteady: But sometimes you give up

Donatello: It looks like the medi-laser short-circuited his brain function.

Donatello: We've got to stop the river
Raphael: Sure, we'll just get 40,000 beavers and ask them to build us a dam.
Donatello: That'll work, but I've got a better idea.


Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time tells the story of a cosmologist whose speech is interrupted by a little old lady who informs him that the universe rests on the back of a turtle. "Ah, yes, madame," the scientist replies, "but what does the turtle rest on?" The old lady shoots back: "You can't trick me, young man. It's nothing but turtles, turtles, turtles, all the way down."

Rosso: I'd love to see you as a cop.
Merrick: God, I'd be corrupt.

(heh, this is actually Australian!)

And last, but not least, the final tribute to The Matrix Revolutions day:

Homer: Whether you're suffering from glaucoma or you've just rented "The Matrix," everyone can benefit from medical marajuana.

Comments

[neo-leviathan.livejournal.com]

lol, intersting write-up there ;-).
I'd better say one thing though, about your Homer quote, it's incorrect, here is the correct quote.
Whether you're suffering from glaucoma or you've just rented "The Matrix," medicinal marajuana can make things great.... medically....