The Legend Has Been Returned
Feb. 2nd, 2006 10:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityvixenAfter seeing ads for the DVD coming out, I added The Legend of Zorro to my queue on Netflix. This was mostly out of loyalty to the first one, which I thought was fairly clever and definitely fun, not out of any particular desire to further my Antonio Banderas-Zorro adventures (in fact, I wasn't even sure of the title until the DVD popped on).
Allow me to advise the rest of you: this movie is not only skip-worthy, I would caution against the serious negative health effects you might experience if you watch it. Normally, no matter how qualitatively 'bad' a movie is, there is something in it that keeps me wondering what happened to character X after, and I like to spin out that thought to an end, and I'm over it (in the case of a good movie, I usually write it down, and sometimes post it, yay, fanfic!). I am not even remotely tempted to try for The Legend of Zorro.
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feiran had to be quieted several times when the film first started (before she absconded to go watch a Battlestar Galactica episode that, while not up to the usual snuff, I would have gladly watched again if I'd known how bad my movie was to be). She hates the 'plucky amazing child of the hero' character. I can usually stomach some of that, if the parents are either a) more important, or b) actually good parents who might raise a super-child, or c) seem believeably upset when the child is put in danger and not pleased that the child might be attracted to danger. But Zorro's kid? He's like living proof of Terry Pratchett's "heredity has nothing to do with your genes" theory giving rise to Susan Death. Zorro's kid doesn't have to know he's Zorro's kid, it's in his blood to be a tenacious swashbuckler.
Two hours of this stuff, too. Two hours. I could also mention Catherine Zeta-Jones faking an orgasm when she's kissed by her masked husband; the unliklihood of a woman obtaining a divorce and retaining all the stuff in 1950; Rufus Sewell's unbelievable French accent (made all the worse for him being surrounded by actors with 'Spanish' accents and worse, too, for me, as I'd seen good French and Spanish accents only the weekend before in Horatio Hornblower); a secrety knight cult trying to help themselves by siding with the Confederacy; Antonio Banderas; the little kid riding a horse five times his size with the command of a master equestrian...
Oh forget it. Just skip it. Delete it from your queues, take the disc and use as a frisbee. Tell Netflix it didn't arrive, burn the disc and any other copies they send after it...
Allow me to advise the rest of you: this movie is not only skip-worthy, I would caution against the serious negative health effects you might experience if you watch it. Normally, no matter how qualitatively 'bad' a movie is, there is something in it that keeps me wondering what happened to character X after, and I like to spin out that thought to an end, and I'm over it (in the case of a good movie, I usually write it down, and sometimes post it, yay, fanfic!). I am not even remotely tempted to try for The Legend of Zorro.
feiran had to be quieted several times when the film first started (before she absconded to go watch a Battlestar Galactica episode that, while not up to the usual snuff, I would have gladly watched again if I'd known how bad my movie was to be). She hates the 'plucky amazing child of the hero' character. I can usually stomach some of that, if the parents are either a) more important, or b) actually good parents who might raise a super-child, or c) seem believeably upset when the child is put in danger and not pleased that the child might be attracted to danger. But Zorro's kid? He's like living proof of Terry Pratchett's "heredity has nothing to do with your genes" theory giving rise to Susan Death. Zorro's kid doesn't have to know he's Zorro's kid, it's in his blood to be a tenacious swashbuckler.Two hours of this stuff, too. Two hours. I could also mention Catherine Zeta-Jones faking an orgasm when she's kissed by her masked husband; the unliklihood of a woman obtaining a divorce and retaining all the stuff in 1950; Rufus Sewell's unbelievable French accent (made all the worse for him being surrounded by actors with 'Spanish' accents and worse, too, for me, as I'd seen good French and Spanish accents only the weekend before in Horatio Hornblower); a secrety knight cult trying to help themselves by siding with the Confederacy; Antonio Banderas; the little kid riding a horse five times his size with the command of a master equestrian...
Oh forget it. Just skip it. Delete it from your queues, take the disc and use as a frisbee. Tell Netflix it didn't arrive, burn the disc and any other copies they send after it...
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 04:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 04:31 pm (UTC)Nope, no good. Expect a beating at home.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 04:38 pm (UTC)I did enjoy a couple of scenes, though - Zorro and Joaquin out by the lake, even if the random let's-talk-entirely-in-Spanish-and-subtitle-this was kinda out of the blue. I thought it was actually a bit sweet. And whenever Alejandro was actually acting like Alejandro I was entertained... "Prison changes a man, son." But Elena? Where the heck did the Elena of the first film go?
Such a wasted opportunity.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 04:58 pm (UTC)I prefer the Alejandro who was a gentleman in the first movie versus the Alejandro the fop in this one. I know de la Vega typically goes for foppish, but I think someone as smouldery-hard-assed as Antonio Banderas looked redonkulus trying to be lilly-livered.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 05:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 05:24 pm (UTC)