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Jun. 22nd, 2006 05:41 pmDo you ever feel like just opening up and screaming in a public place?
I need to vent somehow, but I'm so exhausted that I'm just pocketing frustration.
I do like our new apartment. It's large, convenient from my work, and I can spread out my stuff and house it properly at the same time. We're going to have a nice TV, a real couch, counter space in the kitchen, an office (and, when all is arranged, a housewarming).
But the "going to have" part might kill me before I get to the "have" part. ( It sucks to be me. )
The exhaustion is just the steady wearing down of my soul from dealing with all these issues. I keep having to call, I have zero patience and I think the management is catching on and becoming as tired of our calls as we are of making them. But I'm not doing it to be annoying. If they'd had the place inhabitable by the time we arrived, this would never have been so involved.
On top of that, I'm filling out the empty spaces with furniture from home and other sources, depleting my already diminished funds because neither roommate has the cash to spare (I have something more than nothing, so it's all out of my pocket at this point, and even though I trust they will pay me back their even shares, it's making me very grouchy to be constantly paying out--which is made worse by the fact that not having the kitchen set up means we have to spend money on food all the fucking time).
Worse still, I have yet to fully adjust to sleeping with windows facing the street and the level of noise in our neighborhood. I wish I worked nights or something because every time I go home for lunch (usually bringing some with for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
feiran because she either can't leave because she's waiting for someone or another to show up and fix something or else because she's been sick recently), the street is empty and quiet. Middle of the day, nothing going on. Late at night: firecrackers, cars with stereos blasting. Earlier than I need to be awake in the morning: car horns, people shouting at windows instead of, you know, fucking buzzing the goddamned apartment where whoever the fuck they're looking for lives instead of waking up the goddamned fucking neighborhood.
I don't fall back asleep easy, so I'm sort of a stumbling mess first thing because I've been woken up at 7 am and then again at 8 am by such noises and I don't need to be up until 9 am to make it the third or a mile or so that I walk to work. I could try adjusting my sleep schedule and just starting my day earlier (which is a huge concession as I am the world's worst night owl) and going to bed earlier, too, but I don't know if I can arrange my tiredness schedule so perfectly. I get tired in the evening about 10 pm, which is too soon for even a 7 am wake up, and really, I do not want to be awake for three hours before I get to work--that would just make workdays seem even longer, and I've got looooong days as it is. By the time I've gotten a second wind, I'm up until 1:30-2 am.
Fucking hell, I'm tired.
I need to vent somehow, but I'm so exhausted that I'm just pocketing frustration.
I do like our new apartment. It's large, convenient from my work, and I can spread out my stuff and house it properly at the same time. We're going to have a nice TV, a real couch, counter space in the kitchen, an office (and, when all is arranged, a housewarming).
But the "going to have" part might kill me before I get to the "have" part. ( It sucks to be me. )
The exhaustion is just the steady wearing down of my soul from dealing with all these issues. I keep having to call, I have zero patience and I think the management is catching on and becoming as tired of our calls as we are of making them. But I'm not doing it to be annoying. If they'd had the place inhabitable by the time we arrived, this would never have been so involved.
On top of that, I'm filling out the empty spaces with furniture from home and other sources, depleting my already diminished funds because neither roommate has the cash to spare (I have something more than nothing, so it's all out of my pocket at this point, and even though I trust they will pay me back their even shares, it's making me very grouchy to be constantly paying out--which is made worse by the fact that not having the kitchen set up means we have to spend money on food all the fucking time).
Worse still, I have yet to fully adjust to sleeping with windows facing the street and the level of noise in our neighborhood. I wish I worked nights or something because every time I go home for lunch (usually bringing some with for
feiran because she either can't leave because she's waiting for someone or another to show up and fix something or else because she's been sick recently), the street is empty and quiet. Middle of the day, nothing going on. Late at night: firecrackers, cars with stereos blasting. Earlier than I need to be awake in the morning: car horns, people shouting at windows instead of, you know, fucking buzzing the goddamned apartment where whoever the fuck they're looking for lives instead of waking up the goddamned fucking neighborhood.I don't fall back asleep easy, so I'm sort of a stumbling mess first thing because I've been woken up at 7 am and then again at 8 am by such noises and I don't need to be up until 9 am to make it the third or a mile or so that I walk to work. I could try adjusting my sleep schedule and just starting my day earlier (which is a huge concession as I am the world's worst night owl) and going to bed earlier, too, but I don't know if I can arrange my tiredness schedule so perfectly. I get tired in the evening about 10 pm, which is too soon for even a 7 am wake up, and really, I do not want to be awake for three hours before I get to work--that would just make workdays seem even longer, and I've got looooong days as it is. By the time I've gotten a second wind, I'm up until 1:30-2 am.
Fucking hell, I'm tired.
