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trinityvixenOkay, so, I watched T3 again yesterday and got a strange yen to watch the original. The original one scared me for reasons that are unrelated to the reason Aliens scared me, despite all they have in common--James Cameron, Bill Paxton, Lance Henrikson, Michael Biehn and an 80s version of 'futuristic' everything (weapons, clothing--I mean seriously, who would wear a sweat band around their head in the middle of a war?). Basically, the metal skeleton from the T-800 walking around creeped the fuck right out of me. Back in the day, the special effects made the Terminator look really fake, but it was still creepy as hell because it was so fake, and well, it was a human-shaped robot. That's weird as.
But watching The Terminator just made me realize how T2 is a complete rip off. I mean, if you thought Evil Dead 2 covered the same ground as Evil Dead, man, you just ain't seen The Terminator recently. Because I can, here's a list of things that were scene-for-scene, exactly the same between the two (and I'm not just talking about the whole going back in time naked thing either):
-The good guys always have the inferior model on their side (okay, that's cheap, but it gets better, promise)
-Friends/Family of target introduced solely to be killed later (T1=Sarah's roommate, T2=John's foster parents)
The bad terminator first encounters the target in a crowded public place (T1=a club, T2=an arcade)
-T-800 model thrown through glass window, lands palm upwards on back (exactly the same posture! i'm crazy to know this!)
-Good model from future explains future events in detail to good guy while driving away after encounter with bad terminator
-Scene of repair/modifications being made to T-800 terminator (eeeeewwww T1's eye-removal scene)
-Good guys share personal moments while waiting to make next move
-Good guys flee evil terminator in truck
-Bad terminator loses primary means of chasing said truck, finds a tanker truck to replace original vehicle (T1=motorcycle, T2=helicopter)
-Bad terminator apparently destroyed for all of three seconds (T1=set on fire, left just as endoskeleton, T2=frozen--ooooh, it's cold which is SOOO different from heat and fire!)
-Good guys try to lose bad terminator in giant factory (T1=some kind of factory, T2=a steel plant---ooooooh SOOOO different, MARVEL AT ITS DIFFERENCE!!!)
-Good model from future attempts to stall bad terminator by whacking at it with pipe (T1=Kyle Reese, T2=T-800, my god, they even have some of the injuries the bad terminator sustains be the same)
-Sarah Conner wounded severly in the leg (T1=exploding T-800 shrapnel, T2=bullet)
-Bad terminator nearly destroyed by explosion (T1=plastique, T2=uh, explody gun?)
-Bad terminator declared 'terminated' by a good guy
Really, that is just lazy ass filmmaking. I mean, whoa, ripped scene for scene in some of the chase/action pieces, and we couldn't think of ANYTHING other than a lucky anonymous factory to unmake the bad robot? Ooh, wait, I know, it's really a message about how machines only succeed in destroyed themselves...or, it's like Mount Doom, where the ring was made and the only place it can be unmade, so, too, must a machine be taken apart in the place it was created! Wow, I wonder if there are any Terminator fans out there crazy enough to believe that. It's like saying The Matrix Revolutions had 'so many levels' instead of saying it just plain sucked.
But, so as not to discount the little differences I did appreciate (and to make sure this goes on long enough to have me declared insane and taken away), here's another list of things that T2 managed to improve, thus why it is so clearly a better movie despite being entirely derivative from The Terminator:
-No love story--I like Kyle Reese by virtue of the actor being cute, but really....
-No sex scenes with Linda Hamilton--If you thought the one in The Matrix Reloaded looked uncomfortable, whoo-boy. My sole comfort is I will only watch the first Terminator movie on cable from now on so that this scene won't be in it. And Linda Hamilton was on the lesbian list, too. Damn it. All I can say is that she looked like she was told to act like she was screwing her brother or something because she looked as intimate as someone completely lacking in all comfort with such a scene.
-Better Special Effects--stupid animatronic Arnold head, even he doesn't look that robotic
Uh, that's it, really. T2 is superior for no love story, no sex, and super better effects. I guess the violence is pretty good, too.
You know what? I just might be mad.
But watching The Terminator just made me realize how T2 is a complete rip off. I mean, if you thought Evil Dead 2 covered the same ground as Evil Dead, man, you just ain't seen The Terminator recently. Because I can, here's a list of things that were scene-for-scene, exactly the same between the two (and I'm not just talking about the whole going back in time naked thing either):
-The good guys always have the inferior model on their side (okay, that's cheap, but it gets better, promise)
-Friends/Family of target introduced solely to be killed later (T1=Sarah's roommate, T2=John's foster parents)
The bad terminator first encounters the target in a crowded public place (T1=a club, T2=an arcade)
-T-800 model thrown through glass window, lands palm upwards on back (exactly the same posture! i'm crazy to know this!)
-Good model from future explains future events in detail to good guy while driving away after encounter with bad terminator
-Scene of repair/modifications being made to T-800 terminator (eeeeewwww T1's eye-removal scene)
-Good guys share personal moments while waiting to make next move
-Good guys flee evil terminator in truck
-Bad terminator loses primary means of chasing said truck, finds a tanker truck to replace original vehicle (T1=motorcycle, T2=helicopter)
-Bad terminator apparently destroyed for all of three seconds (T1=set on fire, left just as endoskeleton, T2=frozen--ooooh, it's cold which is SOOO different from heat and fire!)
-Good guys try to lose bad terminator in giant factory (T1=some kind of factory, T2=a steel plant---ooooooh SOOOO different, MARVEL AT ITS DIFFERENCE!!!)
-Good model from future attempts to stall bad terminator by whacking at it with pipe (T1=Kyle Reese, T2=T-800, my god, they even have some of the injuries the bad terminator sustains be the same)
-Sarah Conner wounded severly in the leg (T1=exploding T-800 shrapnel, T2=bullet)
-Bad terminator nearly destroyed by explosion (T1=plastique, T2=uh, explody gun?)
-Bad terminator declared 'terminated' by a good guy
Really, that is just lazy ass filmmaking. I mean, whoa, ripped scene for scene in some of the chase/action pieces, and we couldn't think of ANYTHING other than a lucky anonymous factory to unmake the bad robot? Ooh, wait, I know, it's really a message about how machines only succeed in destroyed themselves...or, it's like Mount Doom, where the ring was made and the only place it can be unmade, so, too, must a machine be taken apart in the place it was created! Wow, I wonder if there are any Terminator fans out there crazy enough to believe that. It's like saying The Matrix Revolutions had 'so many levels' instead of saying it just plain sucked.
But, so as not to discount the little differences I did appreciate (and to make sure this goes on long enough to have me declared insane and taken away), here's another list of things that T2 managed to improve, thus why it is so clearly a better movie despite being entirely derivative from The Terminator:
-No love story--I like Kyle Reese by virtue of the actor being cute, but really....
-No sex scenes with Linda Hamilton--If you thought the one in The Matrix Reloaded looked uncomfortable, whoo-boy. My sole comfort is I will only watch the first Terminator movie on cable from now on so that this scene won't be in it. And Linda Hamilton was on the lesbian list, too. Damn it. All I can say is that she looked like she was told to act like she was screwing her brother or something because she looked as intimate as someone completely lacking in all comfort with such a scene.
-Better Special Effects--stupid animatronic Arnold head, even he doesn't look that robotic
Uh, that's it, really. T2 is superior for no love story, no sex, and super better effects. I guess the violence is pretty good, too.
You know what? I just might be mad.
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You started this...
Date: 2004-01-18 04:30 pm (UTC)-Edit: I have been corrected: there was a love story in T2. It was between teenage girls and Edward Furlong. This torrid love affair could only end in tears...or in horrified shudders when those girls grew up to realize Ed Furlong is some kind of mutant dog-man.
(viridian):*giggle*
-Edit on Edit: Correction. Ed Furlong is technically descended from apes like the rest of humanity. We've just descended further than he has
(viridian): when I was 13 I was totally going to grow up and marry Ed Furlong. Now he's a giant freakball, who am I going to marry now, huh? It's your fault!
-Edit to previous edit's edit: I am quite mad and Michelle still wants to marry Ed Furlong. If he's not available because he's too busy scrounging for scraps from dumpsters, the next closest, filthy has-been actor will do. Paging Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
(viridian): stop that
-Edit to the previous edit's edit of the previous edit's edit: I should stop this before I loose track of the editing number I'm on and cause a hole to open up in the space-time continuumOMG VIRIDIAN WANTS TO DO EDWARD THE HANG-DOG FURLONG SHE WANTS TO SUCK HIS DICK AND HAVE TEN THOUSAND OF HIS SAND-LICE-INFESTED BABIES.
(viridian): LOL. I hate you so much :P
-Edit to Edit^5: Viridian hates me, but there is no way of getting around the fact that I am so awesome.
Re: You started this...
Date: 2004-01-19 01:58 pm (UTC)Re: You started this...
Date: 2004-01-20 07:17 am (UTC)Re: You started this...
Date: 2004-01-20 07:17 am (UTC)