trinityvixen | (no subject)

Ugh. The lower back, she is killing me. I spent all Sunday packing up boxes of stuff. At one point, I'd packed about five medium-sized boxes of only things that were in my room, and yet you wouldn't be able to tell on sight that I'd packed anything (most of the contents were from my closet and drawers). That's bad news on two fronts, right there: one, I stand a good chance, between myself and my two roommates, of needing more boxes than I've already hoarded at work; and two, I have a lot more crap than I thought.

I did manage to skim the lot down some by throwing out Entertainment Weekly and Newsweekmagazines, saving only the book review pages (and I now have a list that, at my current rate of reading, will last me until I'm fifty). It made for a nice break because, yeah, my back, ow. The pain is not from straining so much as constantly bending over boxes and drawers. It's not helped by yesterday being the first day of the monthlies, neither.

Sooo much packing left to do, too. I haven't even touched my desk drawers, that unholy mess that they are. And there's still the matter of the extra box worth of DVDs and video games I haven't packed yet. And the liquor cabinet (easy solution to packing that one, yum). Gotta eat the cabinets empty and siphon all the food out of the fridge, besides. Sooooo much...

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From America: the Book--the Calendar!:
Writing Your Congressman
Try these steps to ensure your letter is taken seriously:
1) Avoid lengthy manifestos, and try to stay on topic.

2) Use facts and figures to back up your point.

3) Refer by number to the bill or proposal you are addressing.

4) If at all possible, avoid using the word "twat."

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I had a dream last night about the Fantastic Four. Out of nowhere. Really, I hadn't even been fantasizing about Ioan Gruffudd for like, weeks (okay, that's a lie, but it has been a while). My dream was a really hilariously stupid way the Four got their powers from going through Earth's atmosphere. Without space suits on. Without burning up (well, without burning up in everyone but Johnny Storm's case).

Basically, Ben Grimm was already the Thing, and he was holding onto Reed Richards' head for some reason (they were all holding onto one another as if trying to stop a fall. A fall. That started in zero G. Way to go, physics of my subconscious!). Which naturally, as they passed the atmosphere barrier, resulted in Reed getting stretched out, and tah-dah, Mr. Fantastic. He was holding onto Johnny, who got caught longer in the re-entry or something, and bada-bing, bada-boom, we have the Human Torch. Sue was clearly the weak point of my brilliant devising of their powers, because she more or less just popped into the atmosphere and went invisible (oooh, I know, I think it was reasoned that she met air and became like it! Yes! Brilliant!).

In my dream, I was aware of my reaction to this possible devising of how the Fantastic Four got their powers. Obviously, I thought it was genius. I mean, it wasn't altogether that different from the movie version, only they were in the cold, hard vacuum of space without suits, breathing just fine enough to holler (they were shrieking the entire way down, probably because it was hot) and going through the Earth's atmosphere. I recognized the similarity to the movie version--in fact, in my dream, I think I was like shooting the "new" movie version, so I was purposefully comparing the two in order to make sure my version was either "smarter" or "cooler."

I'll let you decide which you think it was. Director TrinityVixen says, "Both!"

The funny thing was the dream didn't end with them getting their powers. As they popped into the atmosphere, Reed broke the Thing and his fall by flexing out into a parachute (a la The Incredibles), and Johnny did his flame thing (except, I don't specifically remember him being on fire...). Reed, being the smart, smart man he is says something on the line of "How are we slowing down?" to which Johnny replied, "You're full of hot air." I, the writer/director, found this line hilarious.

Cut, print, that's a wrap.

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Oh, and The Dukes of Hazzard movie is a complete waste of time. Except for the disturbing moment of extreme attraction I had to Seann-n-n-n-n-nnnn William Scott. That was not a waste of time but an endless moment of my soul being destroyed. I admit to renting the movie because he was in it (and the first trailer made it seem kinda funny--well, P.S. it wasn't), but that's really just because I find the actor funny. Even as Steve Stifler in American Pie movies, I think he's funny. I watched Bulletproof Monk for this guy (which didn't turn out to be a bad movie, just not a great one). Ditto The Rundown (also, B-level fun). I have never found him in the slightest attractive.

Except this one time. I don't even remember when in the movie it was (I think I blocked it from my memory to save my sanity). And there was no good reason for it. I don't know whether it was the fake-looking stubble (spray paint on his face would look more real) or the feathery blonde hair or the fact that, next to Johnny Knoxville, even Quasimoto is guaranteed to look like a handsome gent. But yeah, weird.

Basically, The Dukes of Hazzard is tripe. Johnny Knoxville is irritating. There's no plot to be found anywhere. They try to make a joke out of putting the Confederate Flag on the roof of the General Lee (word to Hollywood, if I may: NOT FUNNY). The portrayal of the rural south couldn't be more off the mark if they'd tried (about the only thing they got right: Atlanta traffic).

And then there's JESSICA-FUCKING-SIMPSON. Jessica Simpson plays a character who's self-aware of how "knock-out gorgeous" she is (I beg to differ; with all the plastic surgery and makeup, she looks like a shiny blow-up doll that's been rolled in bronzer) and instead of this being a "winking" nod at her being there for nothing but eye-candy, it's just plain obnoxious. Also, I hadn't heard her version of "These Boots Were Made for Walking." I wish I still hadn't. It's not that the original is exceptional. Just that her version sucks.

No one should see The Dukes of Hazzard. But I bet most of you knew that already.