(no subject)

[trinityvixen]

I know I need not to be addicted to feminist blogs, but I totally am. I found out just how disgusting Wisconsin-ite patriarchs can be ("Well, I married my "date-rape" so it all worked out.") and fumed a good long while about that (without the ensuing LJ rant! I'm getting better!).

Then one or another blog linked to this, and there went my other lung for laughing.

The motto is "An online help for parents looking for that distinctive name that says 'I'm a Utah Mormon!'"

No, I don't think is a joke. Someone out there really wants to name their baby girl AndiOdette. I'm sliding back towards pissed off at the name "Ann-Toy" though. That's a tad too close to "Name your daughter like the sex object she is and ought to be!"

Comments

[edgehopper.livejournal.com]

Ha. I was under the impression that Utahns and especially Mormons spoke English, and so would disfavor girls' names like Apathy (the hell?) and Bardella (note to website owner--the name Horshack was meant to be a TV joke.) I just got through the Ba's though.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Kudos for getting that far.

Mormons = teh crazy.

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

Actually, a certain twisted logic could justify the name "Apathy". Ever notice how girls named after virtues never exemplify those traits? (i.e., girls named Chastity are always humongus sluts.) Perhaps if you named your child after a sin, you'd do better.

...Jethrien would never let me get away with naming a child Sloth to test this theory, however.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I want my kid to be Glutton. I can just call him "Glu" for short. I think that covers my needs for a child's name (it has to be something that can also have a nickname, that's about it).

[slackwench.livejournal.com]

Do you really want your kid looking like this?




Two FMA references in one thread!

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I guess I'll take Sloth. I'll train her to be the cruel man-hating woman from Great Expectations, force the male gender to suffer as this perfect anime chick disdains them and their every gesture of affection.

On second thought, raising a sociopath doesn't sound like much fun for me...

[slackwench.livejournal.com]

...Jethrien would never let me get away with naming a child Sloth to test this theory, however.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Of course not. Sloth is an ugly sound.

Envy, on the other hand...

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

::giggles::

I want to see you justify that name to your parents and your child's teachers and stuff.

"Well, I know it's technically naming him/her after something disreputable, but come on! 'Envy' just sounds so pretty..."

[(Anonymous)]

And sounds even better if you pronounce it in a kind of French way--On-vie, with the stress on the first syllable!

[edgehopper.livejournal.com]

Gah, that was me. Stupid computer.

[viridian.livejournal.com]

.......................

Okay.

I am allowed to use this example. Me. Alone.

Because my given name, before it was changed, was Chastity.

I'm not sure how I feel about other people saying it. You know? Because my birth mother saw fit to give me that name. It meant something to her, because her first name was Virginia. It was derivative of the virtue.

So I'd really rather not come across someone on my friend's LJ spouting this kind of shit, thanks.

Signed,

Michelle, who just barely escaped being a humongous slut. Oh noes.

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

::Heavy sigh::

Yes, I totally said that because I believe that a certain character trait applies to everyone with the same name, especially a name that no one I've ever met actually has.

It was a joke. It's funny because people tend to notice "virtue" names and are very aware if the person espouses the virtue or not; and because people tend towards black-and-white worldviews, if someone doesn't espouse the virtue perfectly, they must totally be against it. Therefore, anyone named Chastity who isn't perfectly chaste must be a slut, anyone named Charity who isn't amazingly giving must be a greedy miser, and anyone named Faith who isn't the model of Christian piety must be a God-hating athiest.

I'm sorry if this is something that offends you; it certainly wasn't intended that way. It was intended as a social-commentary joke in line with the rest of TV's post.

--Chuck "It isn't funny if I have to explain it" Ro

[viridian.livejournal.com]

I get that you probably weren't intending to offend, but I think you probably only said it because you've never met anyone with the name and didn't think anyone would be around to be offended.

Having said that, my parents totally changed it because they didn't want me to grow up to be an enormous slut. :D?

[hslayer.livejournal.com]

"Escaped"...pff.

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

Jut the A section is rife with unintentional hilarity:

Apathy--I kid you not

Arloween-the Utah version of Halloween?

Astrolena-women's Astroglide?

Avis-is she for rent?

Ouch. Thanks for the link, I think.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, don't name your kid anything on this list. Even if it manages to somehow have escaped their BATSHIT INSANE criteria, it's still gonna scar your children.

[viridian.livejournal.com]

A friend I had in high school had Mormon cousins.

The girl's name was DaNelle or something. Like Danielle, only taking out the I and random capitals.

[cubby-t-bear.livejournal.com]

The names are rather weird, but I think a good bit of distinctiveness would be helpful. We've got too many first name repetitions in our society ... it can make things confusing in group gatherings.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I don't disagree. We were working on names last night, my pregnant sister and I, and it wasn't easy

But these just take the cake. There is such a thing as being too distinctive.

[cubby-t-bear.livejournal.com]

It's a shame Nike got taken. That would have been a *great* name. Obscure mythological references always seemed interesting to me. Of course, there might not be a lot of mileage in naming somebody Atreus, or Antigone ...

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Funnily enough, we were looking at Norse God names last night (my brother-in-law is enamored of Loki and Thor, jokingly, I hope), and I liked Freya very much. I couldn't name my own children that because of the frequency of Freyas in various fandoms, but it's very pretty.

Prettier than the unpronounceable Sjofn, anyway.