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[personal profile] trinityvixen
For some reason, people want to interview me. I have to get my PI of my lab to approve one lab contacting her, but I have two interviews set up, and there is a possibility of a third, provided I cobble together a cover letter sometime soon. Also, after utterly bombing that test (ugh, I may be getting it back tomorrow), I got to Horror and listened to the prof say how he gave three pluses, as did his co-grader. That meant out of 50+ students, six got pluses. His policy is that if you show up on time, without missing too many classes, turn in papers on time for even the lowest grade, and are NOT an asshole (those are his exact words) in class, you get a B. So, I misunderstood and it seems that on the minus, check, or plus scale, a check is better than a B.

I had a check on the last paper, and I expected, despite days of daze-d research on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to get another check, and I didn't really care. I figured I'd be angry or cry over wasting that much time, but I honestly knew I was putting in too much work for what would be too little payoff. And I got my paper back with almost ZERO comments on it. I got all of ONE comment, and it was on one of my SOURCES--he circled it and said "great book" and that was it until the last page where he wrote a couple sentences telling me to write about stuff we didn't discuss in class next time (I wrote about how Jekyll had been Hyde all along and that he was incredibly sex-crazed, yummy!). I got a plus. Weird. Noooooo comments, nothing nothing nothing, a quick chastisment about not doing something new with my idea and I get a great (well, compared to the rest of the poor class) grade. Go figure. I should be more excited, but eh, what do I write about next time? Who else is really cute and subversive in horror movies besides Fredric March?

So, yeah, like the title says, interesting debate tonight about politics and racism and a host of other things I know next to nothing about. I know what I believe, that's about it. I guess what's most important is that I know what I don't know and I know that what I chose to believe in is believed in from this position of relative ignorance. I don't have many strong opinions, mostly as a result of not knowing enough, just some strong convictions, and it takes a conversation like the one we had tonight at CUSFS to understand the difference--because everyone else knows stuff like facts.

But it is nice to find out what those convictions are. For one, I know that I place the safety and security of the whole above the safety and security of a few. In that respect, I am for protecting the environment, and as such, I can never vote for Bush. He does not care enough about the environment for my tastes. No one does, but he's had an especially bad track record. Also, he's going to see to it that more people die of AIDS in Africa a whole lot quicker by not letting generic medicines for drug cocktails be used--instead, they get brand-name products that cost at least twice as much. This is appalling. No, you're not going to cure AIDS either way, and, yes, these people will still probably die (unless there's a miracle cure sometime in the next few years), but the point is that they get no stay of execution to a time when drugs might be available to completely suppress HIV so that no one who is infected has to die of AIDS.

I realize I feel more passionately about issues that concern the future of man than his present, but I also fear for his suffering more than for his righteousness. In discussing Israel, I feel less obligated to maintain it as a country than I do about helping the AIDS victims around the world and correcting the racial discrimination in the US and around the world. I think I can safely say that affirmative action is not the solution but that until a better one comes along, I have absolutely no faith in the inherent goodness of man to elevate the repressed people in our country. I love this country and I generally think people want to be good--but it's just unrealistic to assume that thinking alone will allow minorities the representation they lack. Women have had the vote for more than eighty years now, but have we broken through the glass ceiling? Hardly, and it's not for lack of effort. There is real discrimination out there, and it's institutionalized, not personal. The majority keep minorities in the lower class and shun those that try to move out into the suburbs by moving farther away (the Bronx used to be Westchester). It stinks and I don't like it.

I fucking loathe terrorists--no one is EVER allowed to broach that subject with me and accuse me of siding with them because it's just not true. Sorry, I get really testy about that because of 9/11, we all do, but I am not just mouthing off--there was a terrible, if brief time, I thought I'd lost my father because of what happened, and it still really really really really scares me to think how lucky I was that I didn't. Believe me, I hate terrorism, I hate people who kill innocents to 'send a message,' or just to scare people in general, to prove they're the toughest. I approve of letting nations know that we will not look kindly upon sympathies with terrorists, though I am opposed to war and generally believe that more can be done with proper use of intelligence agencies--GIVE THEM MORE FUNDING NOT THE MILITARY--and economic sanctions (when we sanction, it is a BITCH, ask Cuba).

I am not against all war--there are many wars, like the current one, that I don't approve of, but I am aware that military actions will occasionally be necessary. So, yes, let's have the military remain sharp and be funded, but let's not throw all our money that way. Let's not dishonor the memories of victims by pretending that racial profiling or Patriot Acts are anything but attempts to limit the freedoms we are meant to enjoy here and extend to other nations. If we put our money to productive uses--cures for disease, increased funding for space travel and exploration (but not 'let's put a colony on the moon'--Dubya, I'm looking in your direction), and policies to improve education not TESTING (that doesn't show anything except the system needs rehauling--punishments don't work as well as rewards for hard work, and you won't get the best work without funding).

These are some of the things I learned tonight. I know I still don't know a lot, but I know what I don't know, and Socrates Johnson says that's what's important, and if it's good enough for a character from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, it's sure good enough for me. Also, WHY THE HELL DID THE BOOKSTORE LIE TO MEEEEE?????? So, Ted, Thom, and Jai from Queer Eye were signing copies of their book at the bookstore, only I had a test and because neither Carson (love him) nor Kyan (my god, he's beautiful) were going to be there, I opted not to go. BUT CARSON WAS THERE AND JAI WAS NOT!!! WHY WOULD THEY LIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!?????? Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. I wanted to know which of the absolutely horrendous new Columbia sweatshirts Carson disapproves of and how he would phrase said disapproval.....

Date: 2004-02-26 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happyelfling.livejournal.com
I agree with most of what you said but I wanted to give my somewhat different, yet connecting opinion of mankind and stuff... yeah. cuz it's the middle of the night and I feel inspired to wax political/sociological in your journal comments, n'shit.

I *do* believe in the "inherent goodness of man", whatever that means. unless you're in a World Church of the Creator meeting, I believe that if you ask random Americans their feelings about racism, most of them would say they don't believe in any race being superior to another. most people would love it if their personal dislike of racism would translate into an unracist world. (or sexism, or whatever you want to use here.)

but like you said, the problem is institutional, not personal. the institution is PART of people - we just can't see it as it enters us as children, and we as individuals can't be blamed for its presence. all we can do is work on it. I believe that all white people ARE racist, all men ARE sexist, etc - and that this doesn't make us bad people. it makes us people who grew up in a racist, sexist society. and it means we have to work on unlearning the shit we learned. not that we were taught it intentionally, in many cases.

as a white kid (Torie thinks I'm not white, but she's wrong) growing up in a racially and economically diverse city (almost 50/50 white/black, 10% rich as hell, 10% below the poverty line, everyone else spread out in between...), going to school in racially diverse classrooms, I didn't learn the truth about racism. I learned that racism was mostly a thing of the past. I learned not to treat anyone different because of their race, and to celebrate diversity and multiculturalism. I did NOT learn of the reality of institutional racism. the real experiences of people of color today were not examined, only those of people living during the era of official segregation.

so people today don't actually think that segregation or legal discrimination is good. that's why a lot of people dislike affirmative action, because it smells the same, only backwards. but while we don't think it's good, our entire society was based on this only 50 years ago. it doesn't go away. it's part of us. I'm somewhat of an optimist and I believe we're inherently good and have the capacity to change things. so it's the part of the individual to work on overcoming our internalized racism, in whatever forms it may take. it's the part of the government to try to even out some of the harm they caused in the past, and affirmative action seems like the best idea we've had so far, though it is definitely a flawed concept...

(and it's also a misunderstood concept. people hear the words "affirmative action" and think "quota", and stuff. no real policies have quotas anymore. also, surveys have shown that people in workplaces that actually have AA policies generally approve of them - it's people who have no personal contact with AA policied workplaces that get their panties in a twist. and other things I learned in Prof. Raymond Smith's class Race and Ethnicity in American Politics. very good course.)

okay, I think I am done rambling for a while in your journal.

Date: 2004-02-26 06:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kimpire.livejournal.com
What does Torie think you are?

Date: 2004-02-26 10:25 pm (UTC)
ext_27667: (Default)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
I did not know you were into Queer Eye. I've not seen it since I left the psycho-roommate situation in Harlem. Will have to reinvestigate.

Also, I like that Maroon 5 song muchly. I heard it allll summer and had forgotten about it til just now. Must go attack Kazaa and demand that it give it to me.

Date: 2004-02-27 03:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saikogrrl.livejournal.com
Who else is really cute and subversive in horror movies

hellooooo? Louis and/or Lestat in "Interview with the Vampire" :D

there was a terrible, if brief time, I thought I'd lost my father because of what happened
;_; that is so awful... we were worried about our friends' dad cos he worked in NY too. that was a very scary time (especially waking up to the news that the US had declared war, and not knowing what the hell was going on...)

philisophical/political entry -- really interesting, sounds a hell of a lot more profound than my vapid 'bimbo' ones :P....


OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!! you had a chance to meet Carson (in fact, ANY of the fab five) and you missed it?!! I hate you that you're in the US and therefore have chances like that!!!! *pouts*

congrats on cool Jekyll and Hyde mark :) I cant wait to do my Gothic fictions subject :D

Date: 2004-02-27 06:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arcane-the-sage.livejournal.com
Ignorant...no, politically innocent is a better term. The fact that you know enough to say that you don't know things suggests that at least you have a clue that there is more going on then what you do know. Now I'll spare you my collection of political views, last thing you'd want to hear is me on the soap box. I will say though that I agree with you on how Bush is screwing the world over on so many levels. The sooner he's out of office the better in my mind.

Sadly I don't share the opinion that humans are fundamentally good. A look at history, politics, social psych, etc has long washed away that idea from my mind. I still hold out hope that humans will come to their senses before it's too late though. Sadly for me the term "humanity" in my mind has an entirely different meaning than what you would find in dictionary, and it's not a nice word to use. I guess that's why I don't consider myself human (both for philosophical and cultural reasons), but that's a discussion for another time.

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