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Jul. 14th, 2006 11:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityvixenI cannot be the only one to find this both sad and repulsive, can I?
I know that we do a lot of manipulation to get other people to do what we want--"Hey, I'm your friend, please come with me to the party so I'm not alone" etc--but this doesn't even pretend that the person being jumped through hoops (literally) is a person. The woman trains her husband like professional trainers train animals and sees nothing wrong with it.
Personally, I find it abhorrent, and I would imagine most of my guy friends would, too. There's sexism being reinforced on both sides here, and it's not remedied by the husband turning it around on the wife at the end. She assumes he's a dumb animal that she can manipulate to performing tricks, he stops listening to her when she's in pain. That's a fantastic relationship. Granted, this is as much satire as serious, but there's a hint of "Life is so much better this way!" that's honestly what the author thinks, and you call tell that.
How about, instead of wife* having to nag husband,* husband took the initiative and picked up laundry without having to be rewarded? Newsflash, boys and girls: you're not going to be rewarded for doing chores. You have to do them. You made those dishes in the sink? Guess what? You get to clean them. You will not be thanked for doing what was your job to begin with, nor is it necessary for your S.O. or roommate or other suffering cohabitator to do so just so you feel accomplished. This whole "tall poppy" syndrome has gotten way out of hand.
And, wifey, how about you explain that simple system of "You made it, you clean it up" to husband instead of nagging? Try not to be so sanctimoniouos, but do mention that most people, yourself included, pick up their own messes on the impetus of their own conscience nattering at them to do so. Then leave it at that? Tolerate shirts on the floor--or better, walk all over them, heedless of what might happen to a favorite item of clothing--so that he catches on that not having any clean clothes or having his clothes being trampled might easily be prevented by picking them up. It's a tad passive aggressive, perhaps, but you're no longer responsible once you've explained once how the "you break it, you fix it" system of life works.
*Note: I don't pretend that these gender stereotypes--frustrated neat-freak wife and ignorant lazy-slob husband are the only ones. It frequently goes the other way, and I can think of a few gal friends who are just as guilty of "I'll get to it later" syndrome as any of my guy friends. Yes, myself included. For the sake of the article's premise, I kept the gender roles fixed, though they by no means are in real life.
I know that we do a lot of manipulation to get other people to do what we want--"Hey, I'm your friend, please come with me to the party so I'm not alone" etc--but this doesn't even pretend that the person being jumped through hoops (literally) is a person. The woman trains her husband like professional trainers train animals and sees nothing wrong with it.
Personally, I find it abhorrent, and I would imagine most of my guy friends would, too. There's sexism being reinforced on both sides here, and it's not remedied by the husband turning it around on the wife at the end. She assumes he's a dumb animal that she can manipulate to performing tricks, he stops listening to her when she's in pain. That's a fantastic relationship. Granted, this is as much satire as serious, but there's a hint of "Life is so much better this way!" that's honestly what the author thinks, and you call tell that.
How about, instead of wife* having to nag husband,* husband took the initiative and picked up laundry without having to be rewarded? Newsflash, boys and girls: you're not going to be rewarded for doing chores. You have to do them. You made those dishes in the sink? Guess what? You get to clean them. You will not be thanked for doing what was your job to begin with, nor is it necessary for your S.O. or roommate or other suffering cohabitator to do so just so you feel accomplished. This whole "tall poppy" syndrome has gotten way out of hand.
And, wifey, how about you explain that simple system of "You made it, you clean it up" to husband instead of nagging? Try not to be so sanctimoniouos, but do mention that most people, yourself included, pick up their own messes on the impetus of their own conscience nattering at them to do so. Then leave it at that? Tolerate shirts on the floor--or better, walk all over them, heedless of what might happen to a favorite item of clothing--so that he catches on that not having any clean clothes or having his clothes being trampled might easily be prevented by picking them up. It's a tad passive aggressive, perhaps, but you're no longer responsible once you've explained once how the "you break it, you fix it" system of life works.
*Note: I don't pretend that these gender stereotypes--frustrated neat-freak wife and ignorant lazy-slob husband are the only ones. It frequently goes the other way, and I can think of a few gal friends who are just as guilty of "I'll get to it later" syndrome as any of my guy friends. Yes, myself included. For the sake of the article's premise, I kept the gender roles fixed, though they by no means are in real life.
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Date: 2006-07-14 05:06 pm (UTC)