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trinityvixenWhat's so wrong with being a superhero's girlfriend anyway? Well, plenty, if this latest brou-ha-ha over the MJ statue is indicative of anything (it is).
Sigh. There's nothing at all to say about the inanity of comic book character statuettes that could be any more clever than anything that's been said before. Personally, I find most of those statues really fugly, especially the busts with no arms. Seriously, if it's going to be a bust, end it at the bust. Don't give me a torso with no arms. I mean...yaaarghh!! Gross!
Look at that last link--just look at the difference between the black-costume Spider-Man and Venom. Giving Venom arms instead of nonsensically chopping said arms off at the shoulder or midway through the bicep increases the dynamism of the statuette. The same rule of drawing comics should apply to busts, you ask me--if the artists do their best to imply a sense of motion and action to a still image, then the sculptor ought to do his/her best to carry that movement over into the three-dimensional representation. Dude, how much more awesomely HULK SMASH-y is this bust for having the Gray Hulk about to pound the shit out of the coffee table you put it on? A lot, that's how much more. THEY NEUTERED APOCALYPSE BY TAKING OFF HIS ARMS. THAT IS SO WRONG FOR EN SABAH NUR, I CANNOT BEGIN TO OVERCAPITALIZE MY RAGE ENOUGH!!! WHAT IS EVEN THE GODDAMNED POINT!?!
Ahem. Anyway, there's plenty of ways to keep arms. A popular one seems to be having the character in question cross his arms over his chest (I say "his" because this does not seem to be the same rule for the busts of female characters--probably because that would negate the point of a bust of a character like Psylocke, which is, namely, to be showing off her chest). But if you can make room for the Jackman to menace your bookshelf with his claws or a Bizarro Brandon Routh to threaten the ceiling with his raised fist, you can figure out more arm postures to keep the goddamned arms on the goddamned bust if you're going to insist on still calling it a bust even though it goes all the way down to the waist.
Ahem. I think I was starting to write about superheroes' girlfriends, right? Basically, I am not well-versed in comics. Especially not compared to others in my circle of friends. Especially not. However, I am a casual consumer of comics, enough to know my shit most days (specifically in the Marvel catalogue, though I've got a working knowledge of some DC and indie titles). My sense is, with this stupid MJ statue, that the comics people are in agony. The decent comics people. The ones who really do appreciate good stories, great characters, and fine art (versus this piece of shit statue). They're jumping up and down to be heard, to say, "This isn't how most of us feel about comic book characters, okay?"
And it's a good thing, too. Because comics do have a lot to answer for with their portrayals of women. They do. But, as a subversive (i.e. not mainstream) medium, they also have the breadth of opportunity and decades of experience to alter the formula. For the most part, it is possible to enjoy comics despite the fact you won't find a fat girl among any hero group (nor any of the more popular villainesses). The medium as a whole celebrates ridiculous body types, on men and women, but pardon me for griping if it still maintains the sexist approach of celebrating physical perfection in women that is unhealthy (versus the muscular men who, though probably abusing steroids, aren't an unhealthy ideal).
This is most abused in the superhero comic, as most you reading this would know. But then you would also know that someone like Mary-Jane Watson-Parker is, despite her being popped out of the superhero girlfriend body-type mold, an actual character. Circumstance has led Peter Parker to have a number of fairly strong female role models around (who would dare argue that Aunt May is anything but?). While Kirsten Dunst might be happy being the damsel-forever-in-distress in the movies, most comics fans know better and, rightfully, shake their heads over the booty-fication of this stupid statuette.
And man, if comics have something to answer for with unrealistic standards and dimunition of female minds, the movies are in real trouble. Hence the title of my post--I can argue better on these grounds because I've seen just about every superhero movie made (except Superman III and IV, but I'm assured that I'm right with God for having not done so, and I'd like to keep it that way). Superhero girlfriends in the movies are among the worst female characters onscreen. They more often fall into stereotypes than women in "chick-flick" movies (or the token female in an action movie) do.
So, in a way, I'm not surprised that MJ got the treatment (and the business) like this because the movies haven't done much to think better of her. The closest she got to being a real person with real hopes, disappointments, and determination is when, in Spider-Man 2, she went and got Peter to stop being emo and just go out with her. Because she was tired of his always getting to choose how and when they could--as a couple and as friends (since he's proven he's a lousy friend when he wants to be more and still pushes her away)--be together. The line she has is this: "Can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decision?" First, last, and about only time I sat back and went, "Huh. I think I like movie MJ."
That's the problem, of course: it was about the first, last, and only time I ever liked her because it was the first, last, and only time MJ spoke up to prove why she was worth four different men falling all over in love with her (Flash, Harry, Peter, and John Jameson, in case you were wondering; I try not to think about Willem Dafoe leering at her as much as possible). Otherwise, she was just a waffly naif with an attitude and unreasonable demands (I still can't work out how come she was so pissed at Harry for what his asshole father said about her--Harry was defending her the whole time!).
And I'm hard-pressed to think of another superhero girlfriend I've liked. There's the stellar example of Lois Lane, who, despite the fact that they had her fall stupid over Superman, was still so awesome for the rest of her life that it excused it. Seeing as Clark was equally dumb over her, it's sorta more level a playing field in terms of ridiculous things happening between people in love instead of just one girl completely going girly over a guy. In fact, if the Donner cut of Superman II had been released ages ago, Lois would have been more awesome for a lot longer, because it let her intelligence be the means of discovering Clark as Superman rather than coincidence. Give credit where credit's due, and let Lois be not blind enough to figure that all out, and she's finally as awesome in movies as she (deservedly) is in comics.
Of course, I liked her a bit less in Superman Returns, but I suspect that was the fault of Kate Bosworth. I liked very much that she resisted going back to the guy who, superhero or not, is something of an emotional abuser and who left her very much in a serious lurch. She was making motherhood and career work for her, though, which I admired because if there's one thing that movies do less justice to than the superhero girlfriend, I think it would have to be the career mom. What was lacking was not Lois' independence but the spunk that earned her recognition from not one but two fairly nice, well-rounded guys. It's sad when the third-wheel boyfriend has more of a personality than Lois Lane.
What's sadder is, other than her? Who else is even worth mentioning as the superhero girlfriend? I cringe at what was done to Rogue (even though Bobby's attentions to her as a boyfriend were sweet and respectful until X-Men: The Last Stand, but that sucked too much to hold against just him), and Jean was utterly ruined as a character--again because her awesomeness was made to be known rather than proved (it is stated in the way that the cool guy--Logan--likes her and the way he and Scott fight over her and use her death as a banner and means to change the world. Which makes Jean into female stereotype #29357: the dead loved one whose memory is used as fuel for a righteous crusade). And the other X-women? Kitty was cute (Ellen Page is amazing; if you've not seen Hard Candy, you're missing out). Storm was...leaderly I guess (they were trying for badass; if it didn't work when she was half naked in leather cracking a whip, what were the odds it would work out as Storm WITH BAD HIGHLIGHTS?!). Mystique is about the only consistently awesome female in the movies, and even she got skunkified (ugh, making her hit on the Jackman, then turning on Magneto...grrr). Not to mention the fact that she was naked in all the films... You know, those last three weren't even girlfriends of anybody and they managed to be forced to suck at points. Bravo, Fox.
You have Elektra, I suppose. She was a girlfriend who held her own initially. But she got shoved aside in favor of Ben Affleck with a toupee, so that's not saying much. Plus, in her own movie? She's a soulless killing machine what must be made to understand people--namely by sticking her with a kid sister/child surrogate and a dead-ass boring love interest. So, so much for her. Susan Storm? HAHAHAHAHA right. Betty Ross? OMG no. I suppose the flame-chick from Hellboy was okay, but I'm biased to like Selma Blair, so I don't trust my own judgment on that one.
Honestly? I think the love interests in the Batman films are probably the best off of any of them and not one reappears after one movie (except Rachel Dawes, and well, we'll see how that goes). Vicki Vale was actually pretty cool for all that she was a damsel-in-distress. And it goes without saying (but I will anyway!) how fucking awesome Michelle Pfeiffer is as Catwoman. The non-Burton Batman films, pre-Batman Begins aren't worth mentioning, but, for all that Bruce Wayne's four-poster is a revolving door, he does tend to bang some pretty interesting chicks now and again. Most of them even come with personality. It's crazy!
It's probably best if, at this point, I just plain didn't go into anything having to do with Frank Miller. So I won't.
I think that got away from me. It's mostly me rar-rar-rarring over the fact that there really aren't any admirable superhero girlfriends in the movies. Yes, I can understand the attraction of a Jessica Alba (hey, I'd do her), but you get nothing but funny looks if you try telling anyone you like movie-Invisible Woman for her "personality" (I like her for her boyfriends! And her hot brother!). That's all I'm saying.
Oh, and back on the subject of statues? If I were ever to shell out a superfluous $200 I didn't otherwise need or found on the street or something for one of those statues? I'd totally buy this one. It's like this one, only WAY MORE AWESOME because it's evil. Dark Phoenix is way sexier than Phoenix Light.
Sigh. There's nothing at all to say about the inanity of comic book character statuettes that could be any more clever than anything that's been said before. Personally, I find most of those statues really fugly, especially the busts with no arms. Seriously, if it's going to be a bust, end it at the bust. Don't give me a torso with no arms. I mean...yaaarghh!! Gross!
Look at that last link--just look at the difference between the black-costume Spider-Man and Venom. Giving Venom arms instead of nonsensically chopping said arms off at the shoulder or midway through the bicep increases the dynamism of the statuette. The same rule of drawing comics should apply to busts, you ask me--if the artists do their best to imply a sense of motion and action to a still image, then the sculptor ought to do his/her best to carry that movement over into the three-dimensional representation. Dude, how much more awesomely HULK SMASH-y is this bust for having the Gray Hulk about to pound the shit out of the coffee table you put it on? A lot, that's how much more. THEY NEUTERED APOCALYPSE BY TAKING OFF HIS ARMS. THAT IS SO WRONG FOR EN SABAH NUR, I CANNOT BEGIN TO OVERCAPITALIZE MY RAGE ENOUGH!!! WHAT IS EVEN THE GODDAMNED POINT!?!
Ahem. Anyway, there's plenty of ways to keep arms. A popular one seems to be having the character in question cross his arms over his chest (I say "his" because this does not seem to be the same rule for the busts of female characters--probably because that would negate the point of a bust of a character like Psylocke, which is, namely, to be showing off her chest). But if you can make room for the Jackman to menace your bookshelf with his claws or a Bizarro Brandon Routh to threaten the ceiling with his raised fist, you can figure out more arm postures to keep the goddamned arms on the goddamned bust if you're going to insist on still calling it a bust even though it goes all the way down to the waist.
Ahem. I think I was starting to write about superheroes' girlfriends, right? Basically, I am not well-versed in comics. Especially not compared to others in my circle of friends. Especially not. However, I am a casual consumer of comics, enough to know my shit most days (specifically in the Marvel catalogue, though I've got a working knowledge of some DC and indie titles). My sense is, with this stupid MJ statue, that the comics people are in agony. The decent comics people. The ones who really do appreciate good stories, great characters, and fine art (versus this piece of shit statue). They're jumping up and down to be heard, to say, "This isn't how most of us feel about comic book characters, okay?"
And it's a good thing, too. Because comics do have a lot to answer for with their portrayals of women. They do. But, as a subversive (i.e. not mainstream) medium, they also have the breadth of opportunity and decades of experience to alter the formula. For the most part, it is possible to enjoy comics despite the fact you won't find a fat girl among any hero group (nor any of the more popular villainesses). The medium as a whole celebrates ridiculous body types, on men and women, but pardon me for griping if it still maintains the sexist approach of celebrating physical perfection in women that is unhealthy (versus the muscular men who, though probably abusing steroids, aren't an unhealthy ideal).
This is most abused in the superhero comic, as most you reading this would know. But then you would also know that someone like Mary-Jane Watson-Parker is, despite her being popped out of the superhero girlfriend body-type mold, an actual character. Circumstance has led Peter Parker to have a number of fairly strong female role models around (who would dare argue that Aunt May is anything but?). While Kirsten Dunst might be happy being the damsel-forever-in-distress in the movies, most comics fans know better and, rightfully, shake their heads over the booty-fication of this stupid statuette.
And man, if comics have something to answer for with unrealistic standards and dimunition of female minds, the movies are in real trouble. Hence the title of my post--I can argue better on these grounds because I've seen just about every superhero movie made (except Superman III and IV, but I'm assured that I'm right with God for having not done so, and I'd like to keep it that way). Superhero girlfriends in the movies are among the worst female characters onscreen. They more often fall into stereotypes than women in "chick-flick" movies (or the token female in an action movie) do.
So, in a way, I'm not surprised that MJ got the treatment (and the business) like this because the movies haven't done much to think better of her. The closest she got to being a real person with real hopes, disappointments, and determination is when, in Spider-Man 2, she went and got Peter to stop being emo and just go out with her. Because she was tired of his always getting to choose how and when they could--as a couple and as friends (since he's proven he's a lousy friend when he wants to be more and still pushes her away)--be together. The line she has is this: "Can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decision?" First, last, and about only time I sat back and went, "Huh. I think I like movie MJ."
That's the problem, of course: it was about the first, last, and only time I ever liked her because it was the first, last, and only time MJ spoke up to prove why she was worth four different men falling all over in love with her (Flash, Harry, Peter, and John Jameson, in case you were wondering; I try not to think about Willem Dafoe leering at her as much as possible). Otherwise, she was just a waffly naif with an attitude and unreasonable demands (I still can't work out how come she was so pissed at Harry for what his asshole father said about her--Harry was defending her the whole time!).
And I'm hard-pressed to think of another superhero girlfriend I've liked. There's the stellar example of Lois Lane, who, despite the fact that they had her fall stupid over Superman, was still so awesome for the rest of her life that it excused it. Seeing as Clark was equally dumb over her, it's sorta more level a playing field in terms of ridiculous things happening between people in love instead of just one girl completely going girly over a guy. In fact, if the Donner cut of Superman II had been released ages ago, Lois would have been more awesome for a lot longer, because it let her intelligence be the means of discovering Clark as Superman rather than coincidence. Give credit where credit's due, and let Lois be not blind enough to figure that all out, and she's finally as awesome in movies as she (deservedly) is in comics.
Of course, I liked her a bit less in Superman Returns, but I suspect that was the fault of Kate Bosworth. I liked very much that she resisted going back to the guy who, superhero or not, is something of an emotional abuser and who left her very much in a serious lurch. She was making motherhood and career work for her, though, which I admired because if there's one thing that movies do less justice to than the superhero girlfriend, I think it would have to be the career mom. What was lacking was not Lois' independence but the spunk that earned her recognition from not one but two fairly nice, well-rounded guys. It's sad when the third-wheel boyfriend has more of a personality than Lois Lane.
What's sadder is, other than her? Who else is even worth mentioning as the superhero girlfriend? I cringe at what was done to Rogue (even though Bobby's attentions to her as a boyfriend were sweet and respectful until X-Men: The Last Stand, but that sucked too much to hold against just him), and Jean was utterly ruined as a character--again because her awesomeness was made to be known rather than proved (it is stated in the way that the cool guy--Logan--likes her and the way he and Scott fight over her and use her death as a banner and means to change the world. Which makes Jean into female stereotype #29357: the dead loved one whose memory is used as fuel for a righteous crusade). And the other X-women? Kitty was cute (Ellen Page is amazing; if you've not seen Hard Candy, you're missing out). Storm was...leaderly I guess (they were trying for badass; if it didn't work when she was half naked in leather cracking a whip, what were the odds it would work out as Storm WITH BAD HIGHLIGHTS?!). Mystique is about the only consistently awesome female in the movies, and even she got skunkified (ugh, making her hit on the Jackman, then turning on Magneto...grrr). Not to mention the fact that she was naked in all the films... You know, those last three weren't even girlfriends of anybody and they managed to be forced to suck at points. Bravo, Fox.
You have Elektra, I suppose. She was a girlfriend who held her own initially. But she got shoved aside in favor of Ben Affleck with a toupee, so that's not saying much. Plus, in her own movie? She's a soulless killing machine what must be made to understand people--namely by sticking her with a kid sister/child surrogate and a dead-ass boring love interest. So, so much for her. Susan Storm? HAHAHAHAHA right. Betty Ross? OMG no. I suppose the flame-chick from Hellboy was okay, but I'm biased to like Selma Blair, so I don't trust my own judgment on that one.
Honestly? I think the love interests in the Batman films are probably the best off of any of them and not one reappears after one movie (except Rachel Dawes, and well, we'll see how that goes). Vicki Vale was actually pretty cool for all that she was a damsel-in-distress. And it goes without saying (but I will anyway!) how fucking awesome Michelle Pfeiffer is as Catwoman. The non-Burton Batman films, pre-Batman Begins aren't worth mentioning, but, for all that Bruce Wayne's four-poster is a revolving door, he does tend to bang some pretty interesting chicks now and again. Most of them even come with personality. It's crazy!
It's probably best if, at this point, I just plain didn't go into anything having to do with Frank Miller. So I won't.
I think that got away from me. It's mostly me rar-rar-rarring over the fact that there really aren't any admirable superhero girlfriends in the movies. Yes, I can understand the attraction of a Jessica Alba (hey, I'd do her), but you get nothing but funny looks if you try telling anyone you like movie-Invisible Woman for her "personality" (I like her for her boyfriends! And her hot brother!). That's all I'm saying.
Oh, and back on the subject of statues? If I were ever to shell out a superfluous $200 I didn't otherwise need or found on the street or something for one of those statues? I'd totally buy this one. It's like this one, only WAY MORE AWESOME because it's evil. Dark Phoenix is way sexier than Phoenix Light.
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Re: two more strong female characters of marvel
Date: 2007-05-15 07:45 pm (UTC)Especially since I swear I've never heard of them nor would I venture many have...