Surely, you must be joking.

[trinityvixen]

I'm not joking, and don't call me Shirley.

This is the part that made blood boil behind my eyes:
Of course, there are always those rare women who order what they want and to heck with what a man might think.

I am not comfortable enough with The New York Times' snark powers to assume that that was meant sarcastically. Not when the entire article has been rah-rah faux feminism about how the freedom to eat more than salad on a date at a restaurant is omigosh amazing!

Seriously, the women in that article make me really sad. Because through subtle encouragement all their lives, they've been told to basically have a lousy time on dates in order to have a better chance at being liked. Now, they're being told to eat meat for the same reason. Women are not garments. We are not video games. We are not avatars that you customize according to how you feel on the day you create your WoW character or the perfect out-on-the-town ensemble. There's no reason a steak-eating happy mama has to munch on leaves sprinkled with diet, no-trans-fat vinegar water dressing unless she wants to. Newsflash: anyone whose mere presence, let alone their specific command, decrees what you can or cannot eat lest you lose face? NOT WORTH SEEING PERIOD.

Another newsflash? Plenty of women go out to restaurants and order WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY FEEL LIKE. Because that's what autonomous human beings do. I know that's a SHOCK! to the Fashion section, which is too used to telling women they're too fat and poor to ever be really stylish, but it is actually the case. Stop pretending to "help" women by reassuring them that their diets, though less than the ideal 0 calorie model plan and therefore disgusting, might actually impress a man.

THE POINT OF FEMINISM IS NOT TO DEFINE WOMEN BY WHAT MEN WANT. Likewise, the point of feminism is not to encourage false masculinity defined only in the negative--i.e. everything that isn't feminine. Sheesh.

Comments

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

That's the problem. Healthy, whole, confident human beings don't want someone who will do everything to please them all the time. There's no spark of conflict or intellectual clash of ideas being brewed to form new ones. Dating someone who just sits there and does what you want? You'd save money by just getting a Real Doll. Disgusting.

And it shouldn't be surprising that you agree. Any negative opinions about feminism or feminists come from one of two overlapping areas. Either you really think that women are lesser beings, not capable of making the same choices, being hurt or happy or productive as men, or else you assume that because they want to close the gap from being considered lesser creatures that they are asking for special privileges. Feminism is not about women-first, women-best, women-only. It's perceived that way because the movement asks for equality and women have never had that.

So long as you agree women are people, too, you're a feminist. You may not identify with it--plenty of women are, unfortunately, afraid/reluctant to do so (the same proportion who let their fear of a date decide their meal choice, I'd say) because of how they will be perceived. But talk to any out-and-proud feminist, and she'll tell you the same as me.

[edgehopper.livejournal.com]

Well, there's a 3rd objection to "feminism", which is mine--that the movement has gone beyond mere equality of opportunity and begun pushing for equality of outcome. I don't object to women being encouraged as much as men in math or science, but when you start favoring women over men to meet quotas, I'm no longer on board. The same goes for Title IX issues--athletics should be made available for every woman who wants to play at the college level. But if you can't find enough women to play, the college shouldn't be forced to shut down male teams to meet an artificial equality of outcome (and yes, this does happen.)

But yes, in the sense that feminism means a belief that women should be allowed to do everything that men are allowed to do, and be judged by the same standards, I am indeed a feminist.

[arcane-the-sage.livejournal.com]

Healthy, whole, confident human beings

AH, but there in lies the problem. There are very few "healthy, whole, confident human beings" around these days. Our society has a way of breaking down such folk till they are as messed up as the rest. An unwell society produces unwell people. Just take a look at the state of mental health care these days. We've begun to backslide a bit.