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trinityvixenWorth reading ....
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC, PBS AND FOX show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody
cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where
the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse
then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Tom Daschle &John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter
Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
bits of
the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be
the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize
the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Vote Republican
MY REPLY: (feel free to add to it, I need the supporting artillery for when I hear back from the family--AND I WILL HEAR BACK FROM THEM, THE REPUBLICAN SHITS!)
Hah hah, great FAIRY TALE there, Uncle Don.
The TRUE STORY of the NEW Grasshopper and Ant.
The ant works and works and works all summer to build his house despite the fact that he's still earning the same wage for his labors while prices are skyrocketing all around him. He, along with a sizable percentage of ants in his tax bracket will file for bankruptcy this year, after a shitty summer growth season (more will file for bankruptcy than will be divorced).
The grasshopper frits away the summer laughing at the ant's panic when he tells it there is an elevated threat of the ant nest being destroyed by a rogue teenager's shoe...sometime, by someone, and the ant better be on the lookout for suspicious ants from neighboring colonies. The grasshopper laughs as the ant suddenly starts mistrusting every ant from outside its own colony, despite the fact that its colony was started by ants from other colonies pitching in to make the new place in the first place.
The grasshopper, who has always been rich because of his wealthy father, like most summers of his life, does nothing, lets his own nest be destroyed to the detriment of other creatures that had depended upon it for sub-habitats, and purchases a new one that he plans to abandon after the long cold winter, getting the most of it and leaving those not smart enough to cash out when the getting's good to die.
The net result of this is that the grasshopper's constant abandonment and disregard for the natural order's inter-dependence of species slowly starts to poison the neighborhood. Strange spoors and fungi grow on the remains of the grasshopper's leavings, and ants start dying. When an ant complains about it, the grasshopper's allies on the Bug News Network, say that the environmental effects are an exaggeration and conspiracy of left-minded ants.
The grasshopper then reminds the ants that they are on orange alert and proceeds to drop in on their colony with his other grasshopper cronies, right in the middle of the ant nest. The grasshoppers demand to be supplied with scantily clad female grasshoppers in an amount not even the smuttiest of ant hills can supply--more are shipped in from neighboring ant hills. The ant hill foots the cost of personally removing the grasshopper's trash (instead of leaving it to independent dung-beetle subcontractors), costing the already financially beleagered ant colony still more money on top of security costs. Moreover, the ants in this ant hill are informed they are all suspicious and are lower than, well, ants, because they will have to endure every food train being stopped, causing innumerable delays as hard-working ants try to get their jobs done.
The grasshoppers, meanwhile, enjoy the finest hotels, are sheltered from the ants waving forelegs in protest, street vendors, random foot-traffic, and anything unpleasant. At the same time, the grasshoppers spread word that anarchists are trying to undermine grasshopper-dom, and that's why no ants should bother them unless it's to serve them drinks or dance topless. The 'anarchist' ants, peaceful protestors who tried for a year to be heard by the grasshoppers, are told to protest far away by the ant mayor, who is actually a grasshopper in disguise (albeit not a very convincing disguise).
So, in return for working hard, racially profiling their fellow ant, and hosting the grasshoppers this summer, the ants have been drained of a lot of the lesser valued money they paid in taxes while the grasshoppers complained and got tax rebates the size of an entire colony's GDP; they have been harassed and lost basic public services (ant mailboxes have been removed in tunnels near the grasshopper party); they have endured taunts from other colonies and lost respect in the eyes of the ant world for allowing these lay-about grasshoppers (the chief of whom is always on vacation) to bully other ant nests; and they went to war so that the grasshoppers could make more money without suffering loss among their own ranks.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Republicans are liars and thieves. Vote Democrat.
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC, PBS AND FOX show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody
cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where
the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse
then
has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Tom Daschle &John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter
Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
bits of
the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be
the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize
the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Vote Republican
MY REPLY: (feel free to add to it, I need the supporting artillery for when I hear back from the family--AND I WILL HEAR BACK FROM THEM, THE REPUBLICAN SHITS!)
Hah hah, great FAIRY TALE there, Uncle Don.
The TRUE STORY of the NEW Grasshopper and Ant.
The ant works and works and works all summer to build his house despite the fact that he's still earning the same wage for his labors while prices are skyrocketing all around him. He, along with a sizable percentage of ants in his tax bracket will file for bankruptcy this year, after a shitty summer growth season (more will file for bankruptcy than will be divorced).
The grasshopper frits away the summer laughing at the ant's panic when he tells it there is an elevated threat of the ant nest being destroyed by a rogue teenager's shoe...sometime, by someone, and the ant better be on the lookout for suspicious ants from neighboring colonies. The grasshopper laughs as the ant suddenly starts mistrusting every ant from outside its own colony, despite the fact that its colony was started by ants from other colonies pitching in to make the new place in the first place.
The grasshopper, who has always been rich because of his wealthy father, like most summers of his life, does nothing, lets his own nest be destroyed to the detriment of other creatures that had depended upon it for sub-habitats, and purchases a new one that he plans to abandon after the long cold winter, getting the most of it and leaving those not smart enough to cash out when the getting's good to die.
The net result of this is that the grasshopper's constant abandonment and disregard for the natural order's inter-dependence of species slowly starts to poison the neighborhood. Strange spoors and fungi grow on the remains of the grasshopper's leavings, and ants start dying. When an ant complains about it, the grasshopper's allies on the Bug News Network, say that the environmental effects are an exaggeration and conspiracy of left-minded ants.
The grasshopper then reminds the ants that they are on orange alert and proceeds to drop in on their colony with his other grasshopper cronies, right in the middle of the ant nest. The grasshoppers demand to be supplied with scantily clad female grasshoppers in an amount not even the smuttiest of ant hills can supply--more are shipped in from neighboring ant hills. The ant hill foots the cost of personally removing the grasshopper's trash (instead of leaving it to independent dung-beetle subcontractors), costing the already financially beleagered ant colony still more money on top of security costs. Moreover, the ants in this ant hill are informed they are all suspicious and are lower than, well, ants, because they will have to endure every food train being stopped, causing innumerable delays as hard-working ants try to get their jobs done.
The grasshoppers, meanwhile, enjoy the finest hotels, are sheltered from the ants waving forelegs in protest, street vendors, random foot-traffic, and anything unpleasant. At the same time, the grasshoppers spread word that anarchists are trying to undermine grasshopper-dom, and that's why no ants should bother them unless it's to serve them drinks or dance topless. The 'anarchist' ants, peaceful protestors who tried for a year to be heard by the grasshoppers, are told to protest far away by the ant mayor, who is actually a grasshopper in disguise (albeit not a very convincing disguise).
So, in return for working hard, racially profiling their fellow ant, and hosting the grasshoppers this summer, the ants have been drained of a lot of the lesser valued money they paid in taxes while the grasshoppers complained and got tax rebates the size of an entire colony's GDP; they have been harassed and lost basic public services (ant mailboxes have been removed in tunnels near the grasshopper party); they have endured taunts from other colonies and lost respect in the eyes of the ant world for allowing these lay-about grasshoppers (the chief of whom is always on vacation) to bully other ant nests; and they went to war so that the grasshoppers could make more money without suffering loss among their own ranks.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Republicans are liars and thieves. Vote Democrat.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-20 04:34 pm (UTC)That political "joke" reeked of racism and classism and it made me want to vomit. I'm so glad that my dear friend Dayle somehow managed not to inherit any of your obviously flawed genes. I now have to go fucking take a shower after having read such filth.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Suck it.
(haha, don't actually repeat any of that, but wow. Just wow. I'm appalled.)
Get ready to be more offended, then:
Date: 2004-08-20 11:52 pm (UTC)My cousin (FLA): Scantily clad female grasshoppers, rogue teenager's shoes, republicans are liars and thieves.... Dale, you sound very confused. But at least you're passionate about it.
If anyone would like to start political dialogue without insect analogies, I'm willing.
Not bad. But then, this:
My uncle Paul, not the same one as sent the original message (who moves back forth from FLA TO TX every other year, it seems):
Sounds like one of Doug's Kid's. Dayle, Dana,
that isn't you is it? Tanya? The Note below shows some serious brain washing
done by someone....
My sister, Dana (CA): Fascinating talk of ants and grasshoppers...
Had to throw in one more cynical political commentary to round out the picture...
CAPITALISTIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper is in a ditch sleeping off his drunken night out with his fellow grasshoppers.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so complains to his father.
The grasshopper's father gives the grasshopper a whole huge garden of ant houses to control. The grasshopper ruins the garden. Ants are put to death in the chaos following.
The grasshopper's father is pleased and gives the grasshopper a whole forest to control. The grasshopper declares war on other forests and sends more ants to death.
MORAL OF THE STORY : It doesn't matter if you're an ant or a grasshopper, as long as you own the forest
Vote Wallet