I love my family, I do

[trinityvixen]

BUT WHAT THE F!?!

Three of my cousins are having babies within a two-month time span. Jesus. Two of the cousins having babies with their respective spouses are brother and sister, both of whom married young (Shawn was 24? 25?) and Valerie was 20. True, both have been married about two-three-maybe four (Val is shy of four, and Shawn close to three) years, but WHAT THE HELL!?! STOP HAVING BABIES GODDAMNIT.

Sorry. There was a discussion about babies. I admit to being a total sucker for my niece and loving playing with her (YAY I SEE HER THIS WEEKEND!), but I just...ugh. They're cute and then they're fucking kids, man. Kids? Are useless to me. They're a money, time, and happiness vortex into which all of your plans for yourself are sucked out of this universe. I know how shallow that sounds, but I don't care. It's freakin' great that you people who want kids and like them are going to have them and love them and shit. I'm so happy for you.

NONE OF THAT FOR ME, THANKS. Urgh. We're having a family reunion this summer, too. So all the cute babies of a few years ago when we got together for a bunch of weddings are now going to be useless, snotty, bratty, noisy children. KILL ME. And I have to be stuck in Atlanta. JOY.

I fully intend to return an alcoholic.

(Note: All who read this probably understand that I have a tendency to exaggerate because I have no gradations between "fine" and "awful." The following diatribe against family, people who are having kids and people who want to, and general hair-tearing over both should be taken as more of my usual. Nothing to see here.)

Comments

[edgehopper.livejournal.com]

Or, there's our family's solution to the problem--what cousins? My two first cousins are on my dad's side and hence completely out of contact; on my mom's side, I have some second cousins I don't know well (though I'd like to--one of my first cousins once removed was fun to talk to at my uncle's funeral, and I think it's his son that was the Princeton '96/UVA Law '99 grad.) The only one in my generation to compare to is my sister--and I have a long time before I have to worry about her thinking about kids :)

[edgehopper.livejournal.com]

Correction: Princeton '00/UVA Law '03. I was subtracting 5 from my high school graduation year--d'oh.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

It's starting to happen that way naturally as the cousins have started to have kids. It's just harder to wrangle them together and interrupt everyone's school, camp, sport, or vacation schedules. But my dad and his siblings (he's one of seven) have always been really close and they like getting together and they like dragging all the cousins together. I'm cool with my cousins and like most of them a lot (the rest I'm just friendly with) and I grew up with them because we had family reunions frequently.

So I like seeing my cousins and such, but my god we're being overrun by toddlers. Babies are fine. Pregnant women weird me out when I'm trapped with them (I hate riding the elevator in the one hospital building for that reason), and I dislike children. The threat of more of them has me in a swoon.