Round up of Ultimate Boredom made better
Feb. 15th, 2008 02:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityvixen1. Did I mention that Iron Man was gonna be the May Movie? I believe I did. Yet I had not watched the trailer until today. Lo, it awesome, and I want to see this more than ever. Two really notable things? Tony Stark? TOTAL ASSHOLE. Well done, you've got the character right. Two? I'm pretty sure Iron Man has the honor of being the only hero to be shown getting laid in the trailer. So, uh, well done for him, I'm sure.
Check out the TV spot and the full trailer. They both are snark-tastic and comic-book bad-ass. Could they have cast this better? I think not.
2. First picture from the Wolverine spin-off movie. You ask me, this is easily ten years too late. The Jackman was showing his years in X-Men 2. Still, I'm sure most hormonal women are still attracted to him. Not me. Too hairy.
3. All these conversations are made of win, but cut for length.
First up, exchanges with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
viridian.
me: Just to recap: undead = vampires; living dead = zombies; back from the dead = Jack Harkness
viridian: yes
me: Did we ever resolve what would happen if you were bitten by two of various things?
viridian: If Jack Harkness got turned into a vampire? I dunno, but SIGN ME UP.
viridian: Seriously? A zombie in RL would be the scariest thing ever because the only reason they're not usually scary to me is because there's no chance of it ever happening. So if there were a zombie, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. All the rules are OUT THE WINDOW
me: OMG THERE ARE RULES IN THE GUIDE, I WILL GET YOU A COPY.
viridian: I'd still do Hugh Jackman before the other guys in the X-Men movies (I'd do Famke first, obviously), but that isn't saying a lot.
me: Famke first and forever! Then Cyclops. Then Iceman. Then, maybe, the Wolverine. I dunno, though. I'd never pass up the chance to do Patrick Stewart. And there's the not-so-little matter of Ian McKellan's trouser monster.
viridian: Dude, 80-year-old giant cock is still 80 years old.
me: As long as it works, who cares? It probably wouldn't, though, if only because my girly bits wouldn't excite it. So, yeah, my X-Men movie fucking priorities are as follows:
1. Lesbianism (Famke and Mystique)
2. Bondage (Cyclops, oh yeah)
3. Pedophilia (Iceman)
4. Elektra Complex (Patrick Stewart)
viridian: What, you're not going to find a way to shag Alan Cumming?
me: OH FUCK! I forgot about him!!! Okay, reorganize. First do chicks, then do Alan Cumming because it's basically the same thing only the penis isn't made of sillicone.
viridian: Did you know Alan Cumming has a perfume out? It's called, I kid you not--CUMMING. He takes it about as seriously as a name like that allows.
me: His name can't really be Cumming. It's like Jack Harkness' real name being Jack DoMeHard.
viridian: Dude, whatever, more celebrities should have ridiculous last names and play up the mockery. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, HUGH JACKMAN.
viridian: We shouldn't be allowed to see movies.
me: Not in public at any rate.
viridian: The saddest thing is that I will probably actually buy myself Tin Man.
me: I'd buy it if it were free if only to watch Alan Cumming and the other hot guy flirt with each other. That was easily the hottest gay porn I've seen, and I've seen ACTUAL gay porn!
viridian: The story was ridiculous, but the acting wasn't bad at all. Except the evil chick, she was terrible.
me: She was awesome, shut it. She had booby bats. But yeah, terrible otherwise. Hence the eye-fucking. "God this sucks. I need to fire my agent. And have sex with that guy in the mean time. Oh good, he's making eyes back at me. I choose not to acknowledge that it is out of boredom when we fuck."
viridian: Stop that!
me: "Hi, I'm Alan Cumming, it's nice to be working with you. Want to have sex?"
viridian: I think the latter half of that is implied in, "Hi, I'm Alan Cumming."
me: True. It is redundant to ask for sex when you're Alan Cumming. He must just walk up to people, introduce himself, and then like, I dunno, present himself somehow. Like baboons do.
Andfeiran.
feiran: You are going to kill darkling1 :)
me: pardon? I am?
feiran: My Valentine's present.
me:It's not Sailor Moon is it?
feiran: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
me: Oh dear. I hope you weren't too attached to him.
feiran: The DVDs are very rare, and they aren't made any more.
me: Why don't they make them any more?
feiran: Company went out of business
me: And they still have the rights. Perhaps they're not willing to unleash any more onto the world.
feiran: But now I get to hear the Super dub for the first time :D
me: I think I have to be sick.
feiran: I'm sure you've already seen 'em, but I just hit the Star Wars valentine on SomethingAwful where Han says, "Tonight, I won't shoot first" and cracked up.
me:There's totally one with Chewie groping Leia. I should be upset as a feminist, but I'm laughing.
me: ::SNORT:: "I find your lack of Valentines disturbing."
me: In other news, I'm pretty sure the world is coming to an end.
feiran: Oh? What's happened? The inappropriate response to this question is, "Are you kidding? Just look out the window."
me: The answer is that I watched Smallville last night and two things happened. One: the girl playing Lois CAN ACT. Two: I felt emotionally engaged by LOIS. The world? She is coming to an end.
feiran: I see. The large asterois bearing down on Manhattan has nothing to do with it, then?
me: I wouldn't know. My windows are still covered with plastic while they do work outside. Oh well, at least I'll never see it coming.
feiran: I dunno, you take Indiana Jones out of his time period and I get a little worried.
me: I wonder if there will still be Nazis.
feiran: I think there are. The people were in similarly-styled uniforms. Perhaps they're war criminals in hiding. Who have bred. And mutated. And are now controlling mindless armies of the dead!
me: Awesome. You know that that will get me out to the theaters.
feiran: I do. They should propose it as a sequel. Indiana Jones vs. Nazi zombies? Win.
me: It'd be like BloodRayne. Only better, because that goes without saying.
feiran: *blink*
me: That was the plot, you know. Nazi zombies were the bad guys.
feiran: I'm aware, but Blood Rayne is no Indiana Jones, and I'm ashamed that you would link the two movies by something as trivial as plot components.
feiran: THESE Nazi zombies are going to fight INDIANA JONES.
feiran: I wonder if Indiana Jones could pop the head off a zombie with his whip!
feiran: The only answer to this question is to go home and watch dubbed Sailor Moon Super.
me: You are a sick, sick woman.
Last but not least,moonlightalice gets her funny on.
moonlightalice: wellgull was telling me that at work the woman who sits across from him is like this 50-something older woman who has a full, life-size cardboard cutout of Denzel Washington by her desk. And every morning, she says "Good morning," to him. And every evening she says, "Good night," to him
me: You know, I have one of those of Aragorn in my attic. I should go get him and set him up in my room somewhere.
moonlightalice: That's what I told wellgull. feiran had Legolas?
me: Yeah. She put the Gimli in the closet, though.
moonlightalice: WTF is Iron Man?
me: Iron Man! He's a comic book hero.
moonlightalice: Oh, not the triathalon or whatever.
moonlightalice: So I was looking at Tierney Lab in the hopes of finding something amusing. He posted on his blog a video of gorillas having sex. I am not kidding.
me: I am not clicking on that.
moonlightalice: CLICK IT. You have to. Otherwise, I'll quote it.
...
me: Oh. My. God. The title is "Full-Frontal Gorilla Love," and I officially hate you.
Check out the TV spot and the full trailer. They both are snark-tastic and comic-book bad-ass. Could they have cast this better? I think not.
2. First picture from the Wolverine spin-off movie. You ask me, this is easily ten years too late. The Jackman was showing his years in X-Men 2. Still, I'm sure most hormonal women are still attracted to him. Not me. Too hairy.
3. All these conversations are made of win, but cut for length.
First up, exchanges with
viridian. me: Just to recap: undead = vampires; living dead = zombies; back from the dead = Jack Harkness
viridian: yesme: Did we ever resolve what would happen if you were bitten by two of various things?
viridian: If Jack Harkness got turned into a vampire? I dunno, but SIGN ME UP.viridian: Seriously? A zombie in RL would be the scariest thing ever because the only reason they're not usually scary to me is because there's no chance of it ever happening. So if there were a zombie, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. All the rules are OUT THE WINDOWme: OMG THERE ARE RULES IN THE GUIDE, I WILL GET YOU A COPY.
viridian: I'd still do Hugh Jackman before the other guys in the X-Men movies (I'd do Famke first, obviously), but that isn't saying a lot.me: Famke first and forever! Then Cyclops. Then Iceman. Then, maybe, the Wolverine. I dunno, though. I'd never pass up the chance to do Patrick Stewart. And there's the not-so-little matter of Ian McKellan's trouser monster.
viridian: Dude, 80-year-old giant cock is still 80 years old.me: As long as it works, who cares? It probably wouldn't, though, if only because my girly bits wouldn't excite it. So, yeah, my X-Men movie fucking priorities are as follows:
1. Lesbianism (Famke and Mystique)
2. Bondage (Cyclops, oh yeah)
3. Pedophilia (Iceman)
4. Elektra Complex (Patrick Stewart)
viridian: What, you're not going to find a way to shag Alan Cumming?me: OH FUCK! I forgot about him!!! Okay, reorganize. First do chicks, then do Alan Cumming because it's basically the same thing only the penis isn't made of sillicone.
viridian: Did you know Alan Cumming has a perfume out? It's called, I kid you not--CUMMING. He takes it about as seriously as a name like that allows.me: His name can't really be Cumming. It's like Jack Harkness' real name being Jack DoMeHard.
viridian: Dude, whatever, more celebrities should have ridiculous last names and play up the mockery. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, HUGH JACKMAN.viridian: We shouldn't be allowed to see movies.me: Not in public at any rate.
viridian: The saddest thing is that I will probably actually buy myself Tin Man.me: I'd buy it if it were free if only to watch Alan Cumming and the other hot guy flirt with each other. That was easily the hottest gay porn I've seen, and I've seen ACTUAL gay porn!
viridian: The story was ridiculous, but the acting wasn't bad at all. Except the evil chick, she was terrible.me: She was awesome, shut it. She had booby bats. But yeah, terrible otherwise. Hence the eye-fucking. "God this sucks. I need to fire my agent. And have sex with that guy in the mean time. Oh good, he's making eyes back at me. I choose not to acknowledge that it is out of boredom when we fuck."
viridian: Stop that!me: "Hi, I'm Alan Cumming, it's nice to be working with you. Want to have sex?"
viridian: I think the latter half of that is implied in, "Hi, I'm Alan Cumming."me: True. It is redundant to ask for sex when you're Alan Cumming. He must just walk up to people, introduce himself, and then like, I dunno, present himself somehow. Like baboons do.
And
feiran. feiran: You are going to kill darkling1 :)me: pardon? I am?
feiran: My Valentine's present.me:It's not Sailor Moon is it?
feiran: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAme: Oh dear. I hope you weren't too attached to him.
feiran: The DVDs are very rare, and they aren't made any more.me: Why don't they make them any more?
feiran: Company went out of businessme: And they still have the rights. Perhaps they're not willing to unleash any more onto the world.
feiran: But now I get to hear the Super dub for the first time :Dme: I think I have to be sick.
feiran: I'm sure you've already seen 'em, but I just hit the Star Wars valentine on SomethingAwful where Han says, "Tonight, I won't shoot first" and cracked up.me:There's totally one with Chewie groping Leia. I should be upset as a feminist, but I'm laughing.
me: ::SNORT:: "I find your lack of Valentines disturbing."
me: In other news, I'm pretty sure the world is coming to an end.
feiran: Oh? What's happened? The inappropriate response to this question is, "Are you kidding? Just look out the window."me: The answer is that I watched Smallville last night and two things happened. One: the girl playing Lois CAN ACT. Two: I felt emotionally engaged by LOIS. The world? She is coming to an end.
feiran: I see. The large asterois bearing down on Manhattan has nothing to do with it, then?me: I wouldn't know. My windows are still covered with plastic while they do work outside. Oh well, at least I'll never see it coming.
feiran: I dunno, you take Indiana Jones out of his time period and I get a little worried.me: I wonder if there will still be Nazis.
feiran: I think there are. The people were in similarly-styled uniforms. Perhaps they're war criminals in hiding. Who have bred. And mutated. And are now controlling mindless armies of the dead!me: Awesome. You know that that will get me out to the theaters.
feiran: I do. They should propose it as a sequel. Indiana Jones vs. Nazi zombies? Win.me: It'd be like BloodRayne. Only better, because that goes without saying.
feiran: *blink*me: That was the plot, you know. Nazi zombies were the bad guys.
feiran: I'm aware, but Blood Rayne is no Indiana Jones, and I'm ashamed that you would link the two movies by something as trivial as plot components.feiran: THESE Nazi zombies are going to fight INDIANA JONES.feiran: I wonder if Indiana Jones could pop the head off a zombie with his whip!feiran: The only answer to this question is to go home and watch dubbed Sailor Moon Super.me: You are a sick, sick woman.
Last but not least,
moonlightalice gets her funny on.moonlightalice: wellgull was telling me that at work the woman who sits across from him is like this 50-something older woman who has a full, life-size cardboard cutout of Denzel Washington by her desk. And every morning, she says "Good morning," to him. And every evening she says, "Good night," to himme: You know, I have one of those of Aragorn in my attic. I should go get him and set him up in my room somewhere.
moonlightalice: That's what I told wellgull. feiran had Legolas?me: Yeah. She put the Gimli in the closet, though.
moonlightalice: WTF is Iron Man?me: Iron Man! He's a comic book hero.
moonlightalice: Oh, not the triathalon or whatever.moonlightalice: So I was looking at Tierney Lab in the hopes of finding something amusing. He posted on his blog a video of gorillas having sex. I am not kidding. me: I am not clicking on that.
moonlightalice: CLICK IT. You have to. Otherwise, I'll quote it....
me: Oh. My. God. The title is "Full-Frontal Gorilla Love," and I officially hate you.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 08:12 pm (UTC):)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 08:45 pm (UTC)(Note: I apparently didn't want to know the real answer enough to actually click that shit.)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 10:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-16 08:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-16 08:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-16 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-16 11:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 09:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 10:26 pm (UTC)..notintomonkeysexnotintomonkeysex...
no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 09:36 pm (UTC)Is that really it, or is it because he's not a sociopathic serial killer?
no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 10:27 pm (UTC)Nah, he just doesn't do nothing for me. Back in like 1998-1999 when the first X-Men movie came out and I heard that some guy called Hugh JACKMAN was going to be the Wolverine I gave up trying to take the character seriously. I never really had, so it was easy.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 09:38 pm (UTC)There's a bit of nostalgia tied to him as well, since I remember X-Men as one of the first genre films I encountered outside of Star Wars (my first and greatest love), and that whole exchange between Rogue and Logan at the beginning ("When they come out, does it hurt?" "Every time.") captured me hook, line, and sinker.
Even though the film will obviously be exploring Wolvie at a much more volatile time, I sincerely hope they keep his humanity intact - as it's something that's been lost about the character elsewhere. Yes, he's an asshole, but he's not soulless.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-15 10:35 pm (UTC)And honestly, Jackman does a good job, but the fact that the movies revolved around him really, really pissed me off. It worked well enough in X-Men 2 where they touched on a lot of the problems just BEING Wolverine creates for the poor guy, and I appreciated that. But in my heart, I feel the X-Men are a team and if you want to go giving a cinematic blow job to a character, it should be done (as they're doing) in its own film. It is possible to do a team super-hero movie. That's why I like X-Men 2 best because it is about the team, about taking members out, dealing with their loss, putting new ones in (HIIIIIIIII NIGHTCRAWLER!!!), growing new ones up (HAI BOBBY). It was an ensemble, and I loved that.
I hope they remember Wolverine's humanity, too, in the spin-off. I also hope they add to the world-weariness quotient. Wolverine might not remember anything since, say, before the 70s (whenever he was adamantiumized), but he should be able to know himself to have lived at least forty years and should show it (if not necessarily on the face, then in the attitude). If anything that was my biggest complaint with the way they played Wolverine in the movies thus far.