Real men don't have nipples
Apr. 1st, 2008 05:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityvixenSaw this yesterday and laughed my fucking ass off. (Story here.)
This?! This is what we've come to? We've regressed to a point of uber-gender roles and prudishness that real, manly men can't have nipples exposed even though the rest of their boobs are? I suppose this is a weird sort of equality, since we're comfortable with female boobs being on display so long as that DEAD SINFUL centerpiece stays covered up.
Ooh, maybe this is really an attack on those crazy scientists who believe in evolution. Those freaks believe that the stages of evolution are sort of recapitulated in miniature in embryos before they become more recognizably human fetuses. And, as most people know, since sex-determining hormones don't kick in till much later, this is why all human babies have nipples even though men don't develop any underlying structures to provide a use for having one. BUT IF MEN HAVE NO NIPPLES THAN THAT TOTALLY NEVER HAPPENED.
Myself, I'm laughing still because men not having nipples is exactly what freaked me about about revisiting my childhood when I watched episodes of the old He-Man series. If people couldn't figure out that the only two guys in Eternia with page-boy haircuts and identically, exotically colored tigers were one and the same, I think they could at least do a nipple count. I'm sure I remember seeing some on Bo (that delightfully sissy hero on She-Ra, aka the only man not threatening to the heroine is the gay one), so if all the men of Eternia and Etheria were to just lift their shirts, they'd nail Prince Adam for being He-Man in one go.
No nipples. IT LOOKS WEIRD BECAUSE IT IS. There's something fatty about not having nipples, too. Seriously, look at Meaty McHamSlab front and center. That's a guy with no testicles but about a thousand more steroid-ripped muscles than you'd normally find in the whole of the Orlando area, and yet? He looks kinda fat. Nipples, man, they give you definition. On such normally sex-charged posters as this (what, you don't agree that photos of slighty sweaty, greased up men have any sexual connotation?), the missing nipples would serve as corners to their pectorals. Nipples give the edge of muscle.
(And, TMI, they'd be--if they weren't airbrushed out--pretty pert and erect, too, which makes the stuff underneath look taut and not saggy fat. You can tell a lot about breasts by the nipples, see! This is partly why you don't see too many female boob statues/pictures with unerect/unaroused nipples either. The more pointed the nipple appears, the more tone to the shape underneath.)
This?! This is what we've come to? We've regressed to a point of uber-gender roles and prudishness that real, manly men can't have nipples exposed even though the rest of their boobs are? I suppose this is a weird sort of equality, since we're comfortable with female boobs being on display so long as that DEAD SINFUL centerpiece stays covered up.
Ooh, maybe this is really an attack on those crazy scientists who believe in evolution. Those freaks believe that the stages of evolution are sort of recapitulated in miniature in embryos before they become more recognizably human fetuses. And, as most people know, since sex-determining hormones don't kick in till much later, this is why all human babies have nipples even though men don't develop any underlying structures to provide a use for having one. BUT IF MEN HAVE NO NIPPLES THAN THAT TOTALLY NEVER HAPPENED.
Myself, I'm laughing still because men not having nipples is exactly what freaked me about about revisiting my childhood when I watched episodes of the old He-Man series. If people couldn't figure out that the only two guys in Eternia with page-boy haircuts and identically, exotically colored tigers were one and the same, I think they could at least do a nipple count. I'm sure I remember seeing some on Bo (that delightfully sissy hero on She-Ra, aka the only man not threatening to the heroine is the gay one), so if all the men of Eternia and Etheria were to just lift their shirts, they'd nail Prince Adam for being He-Man in one go.
No nipples. IT LOOKS WEIRD BECAUSE IT IS. There's something fatty about not having nipples, too. Seriously, look at Meaty McHamSlab front and center. That's a guy with no testicles but about a thousand more steroid-ripped muscles than you'd normally find in the whole of the Orlando area, and yet? He looks kinda fat. Nipples, man, they give you definition. On such normally sex-charged posters as this (what, you don't agree that photos of slighty sweaty, greased up men have any sexual connotation?), the missing nipples would serve as corners to their pectorals. Nipples give the edge of muscle.
(And, TMI, they'd be--if they weren't airbrushed out--pretty pert and erect, too, which makes the stuff underneath look taut and not saggy fat. You can tell a lot about breasts by the nipples, see! This is partly why you don't see too many female boob statues/pictures with unerect/unaroused nipples either. The more pointed the nipple appears, the more tone to the shape underneath.)
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Date: 2008-04-02 08:00 pm (UTC)