Your vote counts!

[trinityvixen]

No, I'm not talking about the election or politics or anything so boring. I am instead, of course, as ever, talking about....MOVIES!

(surprise!)

The question arose from a conversation held with feiran on our way back from The Incredible Hulk. More, I was pondering it at her while she sat there and went, "You know I haven't seen any of the movies you're talking about, right?" (It's true; she hasn't. This is why I beat her ass at Marvel Scene It.)

The question was this: What is the worst comic book movie adaptation...ever?

Now, to answer, first we must have ground rules.

One: Yes, it can be any movie that was a comic book or graphic novel first. (American Splendor counts as does From Hell, etc.) It is not limited to superhero comic book movies.

Two: By "worst," we're talking about the whole production, start to finish. Worst script, worst direction, worst acting, worst effects, worst editing--if it is part of making the movie, you can find fault with it, and it's fair game. (Note, however, that you cannot fault older films for their special effects unless those special effects were notably bad at the time of production. Fair's fair. No one had ILM or CGI even twenty years ago.)

Three: Consider also, when determining "worst" what so-bad-it's-funny value some movies have. If you can laugh at it, it's not the worst comic book movie ever.

Four: Sequels are different movies, so not liking most of a series doesn't count. You have to pick one film. If that means you have to weigh the camp of Dolph Lundgren against the camp of John Travolta in deciding which Punisher movie was worse, so be it.

Five: There is no rule five. Just get started commenting already.

So as not to bias anyone, my personal choice for worst comic book movie ever is behind the cut. My vote has to go to The Hulk. While The Punisher and Elektra were dead boring, and Spider-Man 3 and X-Men: The Last Stand both broke me, and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer made me laugh at its ridiculosity hard enough to cry, and Daredevil featured Ben Affleck in red leather (enough said), and don't even get me started on the nipple-suit Batman movies...

The Hulk? Worst comic book movie ever. Absolutely not-a-thing redeemable about it. Bruce Banner wasn't even Bruce Banner. (Look it up for yourselves if you don't believe me--DON'T WATCH THE MOVIE, USE THE INTERNET!) Jennifer Connelly--Oscar-award winning Jennifer Connelly--is easily outmatched in a role played later by Liv Tyler--Aerosmith-video-lesbian Liv Tyler. Nick Nolte. For the love of God, NICK. NOLTE.

And that's just the cast. There was a scene wherein a flashback contained a dream sequence. I expected that to keep going down the story-telling ladder until there was a flashback of a dream character's dreaming about a flashback of a dream, ad nauseum. (I know I was nauseated.) The Hulk looked less real than Flubber. I think Nick Nolte ended up becoming God or something by credits' end. If that's not enough to make you shudder and doubt that there even is a God, I declare that you, sirrah! Are not, cannot possibly be human. Robot apocalypse, here we come.

In short, The Hulk is so bad. How bad is it? Here's how bad: I don't even remember half of it. This? Is monumental. I still remember most of just about every other movie I've ever hated. Ask me about Swordfish some time. I can remember the plot of The Crow: City of Angels. (To be fair, that's more out of the mortification that my father walked in on a scene set in a sex club where a guy is beating off. ::sigh:: Sorry, Dad.) But I can't remember half of The Hulk. I saw it for free in the theater, and I wanted my money back.

Worst. Comic. Book. Movie. Ever.

Comments

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Directorial intent is not the be-all, end-all. Interpretations of film can exist outside of authorial dictum. Viewing determines the narrative as much as script does. This is how Rocky Horror is a classic instead of a triffling, mostly awful film--the viewers took ownership of the narrative. Batman and Robin aped the TV show whether the director admits it or not, so that's a fair read on the eventual product. The fact that they cast a fourth-wall-crossing smirker like Clooney as Batman supports this theory of winking nostalgia.

[droidguy1119.livejournal.com]

Viewer's interpretation of the film is one thing. But what I meant is, even if it apes the TV show, if it does so unintentionally that still makes it a very, very, very bad movie. When it comes to actually analyzing a movie I don't really think "unintentionally funny" actually qualifies as a success.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Ah, but, per my rules: unintentionally funny falls under the category of "so bad it's funny," which means it can't be the worst film ever made from a comic book.