Some ::MIGHTY FIST SHAKING:: stories for you all

[trinityvixen]

I'd rather go to any and every Hell than go to Mormon heaven. (h/t newredshoes)

Seriously, Mormons: knock that shit off. You're officially on notice that if you try to baptize any more people posthumously, against their will, I will dig up Joseph Smith's corpse and stomp it into little bits, which I will then feed to a pig, whose shit I will then press into communion wafers and sell to you. You want to eat your ancestors, go ahead. Leave everyone else's the fuck alone.

Note to Judeo-Christianity: All your religions are as stupid as this one.

If you don't want your park littered with religiosity, DON'T START BY PUTTING THAT SHIT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. They can't have a leg to stand on, right? Even Evil!SCOTUS as we currently have must recognize that this is bullshit...right?

Goodbye Southern Strategy?

I doubt it. These things go in cycles, and we'll have maybe forty years of progressive policies if the trends are to be believed, and then the South will have a resurgence. (It always rises again, as we know.) It won't be white, though it will probably still be conservative. However, if we are so blessed as to have even four years of not having to listen to Suh-thuh-ners dictate how the rest of us are going to hell for not hating people and loving Jeebus enough, that's a welcome relief.

Comments

[newredshoes]

Aw, but isn't the second article made all worth it by this sentence?

Summum’s founder, Corky Ra, says he learned the aphorisms during a series of telepathic encounters with divine beings he called Summa Individuals.

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

Until it mentioned that Summum was founded in 1975, I figured it was a new varient of Pastafarianism or the like. If I had a mini-cult handy, I'd totally do something like this just to force a SCOTUS ruling that would, presumably, get rid of the Ten Commandments monolith.

I think the continued viability of the Southern Strategy will be determined by Obama's effectiveness and popularity over the next three years. His winning a second term with similar margins would be the confirmation of the trend, but I wouldn't call it before that.

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

The guy's right. Everything does vibrate.

[shell524.livejournal.com]

As a southerner (sort of... I don't know how much Texas really counts as The South) I feel personally maligned by your demonizing the south. Not all of us are like that.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Well, if you gotta form a cult, make sure you do it in true batshit style. No word on why this one is less popular than Scientology, though.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Nothing is certain yet re: the South, absolutely. I love trying to extrapolate upon the future after one election that hasn't even seen any of the winners go to power yet.

I wonder if Scientology could be tricked into challenging Ten Commandments statues? I mean, surely, we could use a statute of their alien overlords or something...

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I offer you outrage and you give me sarcasm!

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

You're welcome to feel maligned, though I would hope you know that it doesn't apply to you because you think. The unfortunate piece is that the South has made its voice heard and it is mostly the voice of regression. To paraphrase Gilbert and Sullivan, individually, I happen to like a lot of Southerners (Texans included); but collectively, I look upon them with the utmost detestation.

(Not really that severe, even, but I'd lose the Pirates of Penzance quote otherwise!)

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

But it's true! On a molecular level.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Looking to start our own religion, hmm? I would like to sign up for your "Everything Vibrates Molecularly!" religion. The pick-up lines alone would be worth it--"Hey baby, want to intensify the vibrations of our molecules together?"

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Ok, two things -

whose shit I will then press into communion wafers and sell to you

Do Mormons even do communion? With wafers?

Note to Judeo-Christianity: All your religions are as stupid as this one.

While I agree that the Ten Commandments do not belong in a secular park, I also think this is a fairly offensive statement, especially given that you do actually have a number of friends who are either Christian or Jewish. None of whom, as far as I know, have in any way infringed on your rights or called you stupid or evil for not believing in their religion. Don't lump all believers with the crazies, thanks.

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

"Though we adore men individually, we all agree that as a group they're rather stupid." -- Marry Poppins

And the quote you're looking for is "Individually, I love you all with affection unspeakable; but, collectively, I look upon you with a disgust that amounts to absolute detestation."

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

If it's any consolation, I thought of that, too.

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

Given that the Church of Scientology has shown themselves willing to sue anybody over anything, that could probably be arranged. And no matter who loses the case, we win!

[kent-allard-jr.livejournal.com]

Heh, I love that threat against the Mormons. Not that I particularly mind what they're doing, myself -- they can recite all the magic spells they want when I'm dead -- but I appreciate the invective.

Note that the Old South voted more or less like the rest of the country, just more to the Red side; in most of the region Obama improved on Kerry's numbers. The exceptions were in the border states and Appalachia, which used to be Democratic strongholds (think of guys like Robert Byrd). It's hillbilly country, not the old Confederacy, that really seemed to recoil from the scary black man.

[viridian.livejournal.com]

Re: link #2: LOLLLLL WHAT. I got to the words MUMMIFIED DOBERMAN and my head exploded.

[viridian.livejournal.com]

I sort of agree: I mean, it's offending LIVING relatives of the dead people, so it should stop, but eh. I cannot imagine giving a flying fuck who does what to me after I'm dead. Converting me to Buddhism after I'm dead isn't going to magically rip me out of heaven and reincarnate me as a monkey. (Disclaimer: I'm exaggerating for effect, I have no idea what actual Buddhists believe re: the afterlife.)

[viridian.livejournal.com]

As someone who's still nominally Christian-ish: I think she's saying that ALL religions have ridiculous aspects when looked at completely objectively, and you don't get to turn down crazyass wacky religion X's petition to have their monument up just because your crazyass wacky religion is thousands of years old.

[shell524.livejournal.com]

I actually see their argument that people may be mistaken as Mormon victims of the Holocaust if they're registered in their database as baptized Mormons as possibly being an issue. They have a point with that one.

[kent-allard-jr.livejournal.com]

Heh, it depends on the type of Buddhists and how strict it was to get into heaven first. If it was reasonable hard then you'll be reincarnated as a demigod and go up in Immortal levels.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

lol, I just knew that somebody would go and correct what I wasn't anal enough to get right in the first place :P

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Which is why I proposed Scientology in the first place: I want them to waste their money on this and possibly help us win out against Bible-thumpers with no Constitutional background. If they don't, well, at least they wasted their money!

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Yes, actually, I was being equal-opportunity offensive. My particular grudge was directed at the sect noted in the article who pretend that authenticity is proven by seniority. If that's the way we're running things, why aren't there more Hindu statuaries in this stupid burg?

And I didn't call the participants in religion stupid; I was calling their "my religion is better than yours" thinking stupid. Because believing in Jesus rising from the grave isn't really different from whatever the Summum believe. Both are preposterously supernatural things to believe in, but that's your right to do so (and mine not to). When challenged, as in this case, the one group that is more popular basically denies that this is so. They're being hypocritical and I was calling them on it. They happened to be of a Judeo-Christian background, that's all.

As viridian put it, my "shorter this article" tag was a major case of TACT FAIL. As was my comment about Southerners. I'm just stepping in it all over. Mea culpa.

Rise again?

[slackwench.livejournal.com]

Things to consider:

• By 2050, over 40% of the US population will be of hispanic descent, and almost 10% will be of asian descent. Given that baptists (especially southern baptists) are overwhelmingly white, I find it unlikely that the south will be as conservative in 40 years as it is now.
  
• Global warming is going to *kill* the south. While the economy of the northeast is largely industrial and farms in the midwest will enjoy longer growing seasons, the south is already hot and will face desertification. Furthermore, the coast will get eroded by rising sea levels, destroying many major southern cities (N.O., Houston, Savannah). These effects are going to kill the southern economy.
  
• I think this election has shown two important things that should be relevant:
  
  
  
  • Racism isn't as entrenched in many places as we thought. North Carolina and Virginia (both confederate states) and Indiana (home of the Ku Klux Klan) all went blue this time around, and Georgia and Missouri were seriously in play.
    
  • Evidently, people vote their pocketbooks. Obama's win chances were good before Oct. 2nd, but they became a virtual certainty after that.
    
  
  
• Barack Obama is unlikely to screw up the economy any worse than it is already. Personally, I think he's smart enough to figure out how to fix it and make it stay for at least a while.
  

Even if economic collapse doesn't make people leave the south entirely, I think a combination of a changed population, reduced baptist influence, reduced racism among the remaining white population and people being more inclined to vote with their wallets than their bibles will make the south less conservative overall. A history of THREE Democratic presidents pulling the country out of economic depression (FDR, Clinton, Obama) will give the left an image as being better able to deal with economic crises. I just hope whoever is in charge on the left at that point will be smart, savvy and charismatic enough to point that out.

[slackwench.livejournal.com]

Why is Christianity more popular than Zoroastrianism?