Having just looked at death, this amuses me

[trinityvixen]

Let's convert dead Mormons into gays!

Funeral was okay. The church was freezing cold. I'm glad I took jethrien's sage advice and just sat through the Eucharist because apparently my friend's brother and his friends tried to go up for just a blessing and the Korean priest still tried to give them the sacrament. I had heard from the Barnard-grad sister that my friend knew at school that I could just go up for a blessing, cross my arms over my chest, and avoid the whole body-and-blood bit that I, not even a practicing Protestant, let alone a Catholic in good standing, was not entitled to. I just sat. Good decision.

I think my friend is doing pretty well, all things considered. Obviously, she's broken up. But the luncheon was good, and I had one of her mom's favorite Korean dishes (which was excellent) and so did she. And she got to have something to be pissed about to help deflect (or merely delay) her grief for a while. (Her aunt was being a drama queen; she told her cousin to make sure her mother didn't toss herself in after the casket.) I'm heartened that she will be having family around some more this weekend. The worst thing about funerals is that people descend to help you and then almost immediately leave. I'll be keeping a close eye on her, of course, but the fact that she's going to have a memorial on Saturday and then Thanksgiving next week already has her planning on being with family eases some of my worries about her. Poor, poor thing.

This is, I realized yesterday, the third funeral that I've been to in the space of a year. All of them of different denominations (Muslim, Protestant, Catholic), but all of them involving me freezing my ass off. Granted, that's what happens in winter, but I'm still kind of miffed about the one in April being so cold. I also found out, when I came back to work today, that the new post-doc's father is suffering from the same cancer as killed my friend's mom (colon cancer). Fortunately, it sounds like they caught it early. I felt really bad for her; it can't be easy to hear about the worst outcome of a disease someone you love has.

All in all, it's been a tough week, so I'm looking forward to the holiday with keen interest now.

Comments

[jendaby.livejournal.com]

I think just knowing that you are concerned and checking in on her will also be a comfort to your friend. I have also been to a lot more funerals in the past couple years than I ever had before. They are never easy, and I do not look forward to the inevitable fact that there will someday be more to attend, but I did find This page about different funeral practices while researching things to make sure I said and did what I was supposed to do. (In my collection of etiquette books, this isn't really covered. I guess I need to expand my collection.)

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

They're never easy, and while I don't like a lot of the religious stuff, I cannot deny that the ritual is very soothing in its way. And the after-burial food always seems to be excellent and I always laugh and chat and that helps, too. Because being sad for so long is just not me. Being able to laugh is so relieving.

Thanks for the link. I'll keep that one around for as long as it stays up. I have a feeling I'll be heading out to one of these things again some day. (Please, dear Great Spaghetti Monster, not any time soon.)