Live Blogging: Sharks in Venice
Jan. 25th, 2009 11:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityvixenIt's the big one, folks. Sharks in Venice.
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moonlightalice: So where do you think this is?
feiran: New York, the day after tomorrow.
wellgull: Eastern Europe.
darkling1: Somebody’s bathtub with little models.
darkling1: Are they looking for sharks?
feiran: They’re looking for Venice. They shouldn’t have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
trinityvixen: They’re looking for Marco Polo!
feiran: That’s the shark’s name.
moonlightalice: At least they cut to the chase and we don’t have to wait 20 minutes for sharks.
darkling1: It looks like they’re cutting away to scenes from Shark Week.
feiran: It’s like if you mixed Tim Curry and Andre the Giant. That’s what that guy looks like.
wellgull: You missed how the sexy student perked up at the mention of sharks.
trinityvixen: I didn’t miss it. I chose to ignore it.
(Stephen Baldwin leaves the classroom and is next seen en route to Venice.)
darkling1: I bet his class is still waiting for him to come back.
moonlightalice: He just had a shark-vision flash!
wellgull: He’s a shark psychic.
“We do not have sharks in Venice.” (YES.)
moonlightalice: The blonde looks like a Nazi. She’s got that Nazi sort of look. A “doom trooper,” if you will.
wellgull: Well, [the Italians] were the fascists.
trinityvixen: Did he just misquote Shakespeare for no reason whatsoever?
wellgull: That’s how you know he sucks.
“Here are my dad’s notes.”
moonlightalice: And some fanfic he wrote.
(Crusaders take a city apart.)
trinityvixen: You think the Sci-Fi Channel just shoots these scenes and saves them for when they have a movie that might need them?
“This looks like some kind of coordinates”
moonlightalice: It might be a map!
feiran: I got health insurance. So this way, if I’m ever attacked by sharks in Venice, I can pay my hospital bills.
moonlightalice: Actually, that’s probably not covered.
feiran: She’s being underhanded or checking out his ass.
moonlightalice: Or both!
feiran: Underhandedly checking out his ass?
moonlightalice: He’s hallucinating shark fins.
feiran: It’s not a shark—it’s a little child with a fin.
trinityvixen: No one should be swimming in Venice’s canals.
darkling1: Except James Bond.
wellgull: And Indiana Jones.
moonlightalice: Shark wastes no time.
wellgull: The shark or the filmmakers?
trinityvixen: Is it really sharks in Venice? We’ve only seen the one.
feiran: Maybe they misplaced the apostrophe and it was supposed to be “Shark’s in Venice.” Like “Shark’s in Venice, dude.”
darkling1: Interestingly enough, the IMDB page for this movie says it’s called “Shark in Venice.”
(feiran fast forwards too far past the commercial break)
trinityvixen: Spoilers!
moonlightalice: I didn’t know there’d be sharks!
trinityvixen: Somehow, I missed it.
(Shark rips a guy apart.)
feiran: Oh, he must have broken his leg.
trinityvixen: Sharks get a bum rap.
moonlightalice: Heh heh, you said “bum.”
(Stephen Baldwin discovers great treasure.)
moonlightalice: So the movie’s over now.
wellgull: They haven’t solved the problem of the corrupt Italian government yet.
moonlightalice: How come nobody’s ever discovered the treasure before?
wellgull: Shark?
“I’m bleeding and I can’t talk. I have to go.” (Yes...?)
“You only want one thing from me.”
moonlightalice: English lessons.
“[The mafia don]’s worse than any shark—he’ll own you!”
feiran: Sharks have a loosely defined sense of personal property.
“Let’s go do some sight-seeing.”
feiran: Did he just say “Let’s do some sexy”?
All: Sight-seeing!
wellgull: Sights--like the shark!
darkling1: Also, that woman is Scarlett Johansson’s older sister.
wellgull: So this is a film full of loser siblings of famous people.
feiran: You know what would be ironic is if one of these people were killed by the propeller of the boat.
wellgull: So now he’s going to attack a mob boat on his own.
trinityvixen: He’s going to team up with the shark.
trinityvixen: The mobster sicced the sharks on Venice to keep people from looking for treasure there. He and the guy who put the snakes on the plane must share an evil caper coordinator.
wellgull: It’s a Venitian stand-off!
trinityvixen: It’s a good thing everyone knows how to use guns in our country.
wellgull: When I’m not studying ancient medieval history, I’m an excellent target shooter.
trinityvixen: The Italians are coming! The Italians are coming!
wellgull: Quick! Somebody climb to the roof!
trinityvixen: Why is it on fire?
trinityvixen: Shark eats all the police boats. Shark takes out helicopter. Helicopter pilot dies two days before retirement. Only survivors: Stephen Baldwin and his wife.
trinityvixen: See, that’s how sharks do it—they attack from below or above.
wellgull: Or, you know, you walk into their mouths.
(Shark eats bad guy.)
wellgull: Hooray, it ate the right one.
trinityvixen: I don’t know that that’s true.
wellgull: Ideally, it would have eaten both of them, thus preventing the threat of a sequel.
trinityvixen: Hello, familiar stock footage.
moonlightalice: So where do you think this is?feiran: New York, the day after tomorrow.wellgull: Eastern Europe.darkling1: Somebody’s bathtub with little models.darkling1: Are they looking for sharks?feiran: They’re looking for Venice. They shouldn’t have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.trinityvixen: They’re looking for Marco Polo!feiran: That’s the shark’s name.moonlightalice: At least they cut to the chase and we don’t have to wait 20 minutes for sharks.darkling1: It looks like they’re cutting away to scenes from Shark Week.feiran: It’s like if you mixed Tim Curry and Andre the Giant. That’s what that guy looks like.wellgull: You missed how the sexy student perked up at the mention of sharks.trinityvixen: I didn’t miss it. I chose to ignore it.(Stephen Baldwin leaves the classroom and is next seen en route to Venice.)
darkling1: I bet his class is still waiting for him to come back.moonlightalice: He just had a shark-vision flash!wellgull: He’s a shark psychic.“We do not have sharks in Venice.” (YES.)
moonlightalice: The blonde looks like a Nazi. She’s got that Nazi sort of look. A “doom trooper,” if you will.wellgull: Well, [the Italians] were the fascists.trinityvixen: Did he just misquote Shakespeare for no reason whatsoever?wellgull: That’s how you know he sucks.“Here are my dad’s notes.”
moonlightalice: And some fanfic he wrote.(Crusaders take a city apart.)
trinityvixen: You think the Sci-Fi Channel just shoots these scenes and saves them for when they have a movie that might need them?“This looks like some kind of coordinates”
moonlightalice: It might be a map!feiran: I got health insurance. So this way, if I’m ever attacked by sharks in Venice, I can pay my hospital bills.moonlightalice: Actually, that’s probably not covered.feiran: She’s being underhanded or checking out his ass.moonlightalice: Or both!feiran: Underhandedly checking out his ass?moonlightalice: He’s hallucinating shark fins.feiran: It’s not a shark—it’s a little child with a fin.trinityvixen: No one should be swimming in Venice’s canals.darkling1: Except James Bond.wellgull: And Indiana Jones.moonlightalice: Shark wastes no time.wellgull: The shark or the filmmakers?trinityvixen: Is it really sharks in Venice? We’ve only seen the one.feiran: Maybe they misplaced the apostrophe and it was supposed to be “Shark’s in Venice.” Like “Shark’s in Venice, dude.”darkling1: Interestingly enough, the IMDB page for this movie says it’s called “Shark in Venice.”(
feiran fast forwards too far past the commercial break)trinityvixen: Spoilers!moonlightalice: I didn’t know there’d be sharks!trinityvixen: Somehow, I missed it.(Shark rips a guy apart.)
feiran: Oh, he must have broken his leg.trinityvixen: Sharks get a bum rap.moonlightalice: Heh heh, you said “bum.”(Stephen Baldwin discovers great treasure.)
moonlightalice: So the movie’s over now.wellgull: They haven’t solved the problem of the corrupt Italian government yet.moonlightalice: How come nobody’s ever discovered the treasure before?wellgull: Shark?“I’m bleeding and I can’t talk. I have to go.” (Yes...?)
“You only want one thing from me.”
moonlightalice: English lessons.“[The mafia don]’s worse than any shark—he’ll own you!”
feiran: Sharks have a loosely defined sense of personal property.“Let’s go do some sight-seeing.”
feiran: Did he just say “Let’s do some sexy”?All: Sight-seeing!
wellgull: Sights--like the shark!darkling1: Also, that woman is Scarlett Johansson’s older sister.wellgull: So this is a film full of loser siblings of famous people.feiran: You know what would be ironic is if one of these people were killed by the propeller of the boat.wellgull: So now he’s going to attack a mob boat on his own.trinityvixen: He’s going to team up with the shark.trinityvixen: The mobster sicced the sharks on Venice to keep people from looking for treasure there. He and the guy who put the snakes on the plane must share an evil caper coordinator.wellgull: It’s a Venitian stand-off!trinityvixen: It’s a good thing everyone knows how to use guns in our country.wellgull: When I’m not studying ancient medieval history, I’m an excellent target shooter.trinityvixen: The Italians are coming! The Italians are coming!wellgull: Quick! Somebody climb to the roof!trinityvixen: Why is it on fire?trinityvixen: Shark eats all the police boats. Shark takes out helicopter. Helicopter pilot dies two days before retirement. Only survivors: Stephen Baldwin and his wife.trinityvixen: See, that’s how sharks do it—they attack from below or above.wellgull: Or, you know, you walk into their mouths.(Shark eats bad guy.)
wellgull: Hooray, it ate the right one.trinityvixen: I don’t know that that’s true.wellgull: Ideally, it would have eaten both of them, thus preventing the threat of a sequel.trinityvixen: Hello, familiar stock footage.
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