Let's try this again, shall we?

[trinityvixen]

Professional sports players use performance enhancers. They do. They use them--as many and as often as they think they can get away with. And it's time we either accept that or devote far too much of our science research budget towards ferreting out cheaters with new detection methods. Except if we do the latter, all that will happen is that new drugs will come along and start the whole cycle over again.

Know what won't help? Public shaming. Dragging ball players before Congress. Moralizing. Not even penalizing--because most of the players will get paid whether or not they play. (Perhaps not as well, but almost certainly they will get paid.)

What would help is to get the fuck over it. Let them use steroids. Let them all use it because some are always going to do it. Let's have the all-doped baseball league. Let them discover how fucked up all those hormones and drugs make them. Hell, let's experiment on them and let them grow horns and shit. We can discover newer, better performance enhancers faster than we would with the secret way of doing it, plus we might discover superpowers! You don't know! It could happen! And let's fine the ever-living-shit out of these assholes if they act out of line on the drugs the way we do with booze--they can obviously afford it. Let it all go crazy and fall apart.

Please bear in mind if you object to this strategy, I have a vested interest in taking major sports organizations down because I think they are bloated wastes of our ever-diminishing dollars and are as bad an investment as Lehman Brothers these days. I don't want them to get better; I want them to collapse under the weight of their own grossly over-funded (especially on taxpayer dimes) stadiums and inflated egos. When I say it would "help," I mean it would help me and the economy. Fans of baseball could take over those remade stadiums and actually play some goddamned ball. The people constantly being evicted and foreclosed upon could live in the box seating.

This has been my trip through anti-sports fantasy for today.

Comments

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Oh dear Christ, the millions we could have put into, say, keeping our teachers?

Hell, we could start a fund-raiser: pay $5, get to stick A-Rod with some human growth hormone. If he turns into a mutant, we'll both have learned something and blown off steam. We'd be swamped with people coming in from out of town to do it, too, so bonus! Tourist dollars!