Oh I feel better

[trinityvixen]

Something I'm generally sensitive to is being patronizing. If I haven't told people before, please, if you catch me being a condescending asshole, don't let me get away with it? I absolutely loathe that behavior and I know I am prone to it. Just tell me if I'm doing it. I won't get offended. I'm grateful for such honesty because I don't want to be That Person.

My first internet experiences interacting with people led me to a confrontation with a friend of viridian's at the time. I was seventeen, thought I knew everything, and was actually in charge of the forum in which she and I were conversing. And I completely resented her every suggestion to me about how to behave. Part of that is being a teenager, but part of it is that resentment we all have towards those people who presume--for whatever reason--to know more than you. Part of being an adult is recognizing that some people do and learning from them; the other part is recognizing those who don't and being well shut of them. (Or, at least, closing off their attempts to correct your behavior/educate you.)

I just wish I'd remembered that before climbing into that cesspool of a message board. The parting blow from my main aggressor amounted to an accusation of my being a disingenuous bully, who spent her time refuting others points and trying to force the board to my side then acting like a martyr when they did not fall over me. I paused after each retaliatory paragraph, considered my actions, questioned them, and came out the other side...laughing.

Am I guilty as charged? Have I ignored other's points of view and craved attention only for myself, blinded with self-love and hearing myself talk? Certainly, I do like hearing myself "talk" through meta. Guilty, then. I must be. And here I sit, reading this personal message from Jacob calling me names, laughing. Because no one harps on the kettle for losing its shine quite like the soot-caked pot, mm?

I'm being patronized while being accused of patronizing. This is very--deeply!--funny to me.

I debated sticking his message under this cut--the "I'm so done with your bullshit, let me spend three paragraphs telling you how you suck" message. I decided not to because, well, you can well guess the tone and content. Suffice to say, patronizing, condescending behavior is unacceptable, whether it comes from me or anyone else. And I'm done with it.

I let him have his last word, and it worked for me because he thinks I'm seething in my martyrdom, or that if he engages the crazy (that would be me) he acknowledges the crazy is worthy of engaging. Very Nixonian of him. I will do neither of these things, nor return to "his" boards to bully the people who suck his cock and pretend it's candy.

I do feel so much better now. Ah, me, away from such silly things. Aren't there some half-naked men I could be ogling? Or a post for Pink Raygun I should be writing? Oops, nope, I already did! It was a Sylar-centric episode, but being sick (and being aware of what depths of suck Sylar-centric episodes had reached before), I didn't leap into this one. John Glover, though--man, can't he just sit there and tell everyone how much they suck forever?

Comments

[kent-allard-jr.livejournal.com]

While we've had our disagreements, I don't think you've ever been condescending. (Not to me, anyway.) Pretty remarkable, considering how condescending people in science fiction/fantasy fandom tend to be, although that's more a problem with the men than the women.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I might also be sensitive towards such accusations as a member of that fandom community. But I also like it sometimes? I eat up meta on stuff, so long as it's well-reasoned. I spew meta that I hope is the same. Apparently not. I should just be a bully and be happy about it, neh?

[kent-allard-jr.livejournal.com]

Not sure what meta means in this context, actually. There's correcting people, though, and there's being patronizing:

"No, I'm sorry, but Hitler's Germany really did declare war on the US first." <- Not patronizing!
"Listen you dolt, Doctor Who is better than Star Trek, and anyone who says otherwise is a threat to the gene pool." <- Patronizing!

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

People who take themselves seriously to the point of hating all over other people on those boards are a threat to the gene pool. Let's hope their testicles rot off from sitting on them for so long.

[moonlightalice.livejournal.com]

You're not condescending, but I think you take a lot of elements of fandom too seriously.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Guilty as charged.

[viridian.livejournal.com]

To be totally fair, said friend of mine was out of her damn mind at the time. (And probably still is, idk.)

And I totally want to read the message he sent you. >:D

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Remember when I was ten years younger and still thought I knew everything? Remember The Matrix?!

[viridian.livejournal.com]

LOL all I remember is trying unsuccessfully to play mediator while operating on 0% sleep and 100% caffeine while in the middle of mid-terms.

[droidguy1119.livejournal.com]

I imagine that some people might find your sarcasm to come off as condescending/patronizing.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Fair point. Funnily enough though? I was almost entirely straight over there. Like, I know humor doesn't translate well and sarcasm is especially hard to pick up, so I didn't do anything that might alienate people except be honest and direct. Perhaps I went too far the other way?

[saikogrrl.livejournal.com]

Heh, last part of second paragraph sounds a bit like the serenity prayer XD you're quittin that internet arguing addiction and accepting the morons you cannot change! XD

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I will not be this cartoon. I will not be this cartoon. I will not be this cartoon. (http://xkcd.com/386/)