trinityvixen: (vampire smile)
[personal profile] trinityvixen
I'm not even halfway through June and I'm getting this review/list done. I am proud of me! I'm less proud that, nearly halfway through the year, I've not even seen 100 movies. I'll never beat last year's record. ::pouts::

Taken: My parents actually believe white slavers work this way; I was just in it for Liam Neeson kicking ass.

Atlantis: the Lost Empire: Boiler plate, post-Golden-Revival-of-Disney age animation, so not terrible but not so great either.

Adventureland: Better than any movie with Kristen Stewart in it has any right to be and it has an outrageously awesome and authentically period soundtrack.

The Crazies: Although similar in formula to a zombie movie, it made decent use of the psychologically traumatic idea of people you know going randomly crazy and trying to kill you without dying first.

Iron Man 2: Haters gonna hate, but this movie was pretty good--not nearly so brilliant as the original, but there just isn't a way to go back to a time when we didn't expect so much of this franchise that it would have been possible to make it as good.

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths: To date, the funniest, tightest written direct-to-DVD DC animated movie I've seen.

Choke: I had higher hopes for this, despite not liking the book overly, and it was only so-so. (Except Sam Rockwell, who remains fabulous.)

Weekend at Bernie's: Nobody does screwball like the 1980s did screwball. I'm still not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

The Land that Time Forgot: Fuck You, C. Thomas Howell.

From Dusk Till Dawn: Not gonna lie, I enjoyed this one, even if only for George Clooney playing against type as a total asshole.

Network: The thing that saddens me about this film is that I think it was satirizing network executives who'd do anything for ratings and we are now living in that world.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans: I thought I'd finish out the series. Why not? It's not like the first one scorched my soul or anything. Even the lamentably bad and infernally dumb sequel wasn't as bad as, say, The Land that Time Forgot. Michael Sheen was in it, too, and when he cuts loose, he chews scenery like a champ. And did I mention that, during a sex scene, he manages to orgasm while the top half of his body is dangling out over a castle roof? His frankly amazing ab strength keeps him horizontal the whole while. That's a man folks. A wolf-man, but a man just the same.

Pandorum: I....don't get it. I mean, I get what they were going for, but I don't get how any of that made sense with what we saw.

Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian: Prince Caspian is welcome to rule my Narnia any time he wants, and the Cair Paravel crowd can fuck off. I didn't know they were making another of these movies because I didn't think this one did well. It was fine. Nothing outstanding, but it did well enough.

The Black Dahlia: I guess I shouldn't have expected a conclusive-feeling movie about a famous unsolved murder, but I didn't expect this crap.

It's Complicated: Holy God, this was too funny. Meryl Streep is so gorgeous. I thought that guy from The Office was going to die, too.

George Carlin: Life is Worth Losing: Eh, not his best material.

The Dead Zone: i don't know which was more unfortunate: Christopher Walken's hair or the utter lack of drama that having precognitive powers should have generated.

Malice in Wonderland: I kinda dug this trippy little mess, mostly because the nonsensical story with no true resolution is probably closer to the book than most adaptations get.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time: I shall not tell a lie: I had fun laughing with and at this movie such that I don't begrudge its being a mediocre stab at something like the humor/drama that The Mummy pulled off.

Robin Hood: DIE IN A FIRE, YOU BORING-ASS MOVIE.

The even shorter version of that list would be an acknowledgment that I saw precisely one amazing movie (that would be Network) and the rest fell on the spectrum of enjoyable to enjoyably bad to MAY IT BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY. C. THOMAS HOWELL!!!!!!!! ::SHAKES FISTS::

Date: 2010-06-10 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivy03.livejournal.com
Why do you hate C. Thomas Howell so much??

Date: 2010-06-10 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mithras03.livejournal.com
My favorite Robin Hood will always be Errol Flynn in "The Adventures of Robin Hood" from 1938, also starring Olivia de Havilland as Maid Marian, and Basil Rathbone as Guy of Gisborne. It's all kinds of technicolor wonderful.

Date: 2010-06-11 01:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xannoside.livejournal.com
Justice League: I would put the director's cut of the Return of the Joker as the best DC Animated film, though this one was fun.

From Dusk till Dawn: I love this movie, primarily for it's bizarrely high-budget, but also low-budget, campiness. The pairing of Robert Rodriguez and Tarantino don't always hit when they get their geek on with the movies they make, but this one is a winner.

Pandorum: They put so much work into the visuals and the atmosphere that I really, really liked. If they do a new Aliens movie (or any Aliens-ish thing), the cinematographer/storyboarder for Pandorum is the guy that they need to make the look work. The plot was a bit bizarre and uneven, though.

Date: 2010-06-11 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
He makes shitty, shitty movies that are obviously low-rent--even for the SyFy Channel--copies of major films. (The Day the Earth Stopped was the first of his I saw.) They're all really, really, really, really, really bad, and they all have him in the starring role, getting the much younger woman and it's groooooossssssss as all hell to watch someone blow themselves on camera.

Date: 2010-06-11 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
I need to see that one. It looks so charming!

Date: 2010-06-11 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Good or bad, I never consider the Batman movies as being part of the larger JLA sort of universe. They're always their own thing, Batman Beyond included. But hell yeah Return of the Joker is amazing.

Shame about Pandorum. I agree with you about the atmosphere but the rest...

Date: 2010-06-11 12:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivy03.livejournal.com
And yet you're still watching.

Date: 2010-06-11 01:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Nope, learned my lesson. I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt once, but never again.

Date: 2010-06-13 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] droidguy1119.livejournal.com
I agree with your assessment above of the movies you listed that I have also seen, although I think I liked From Dusk Till Dawn more than you. It's a minor classic! I hear the DTV sequels are both crappy though. I remember trying to watch one and failing miserably once Bruce Campbell left, which sadly was like 2 minutes into the movie. Using Bruce Campbell for bait-and-switch intros is like lying to Jesus.

As a side note, make June a good June by seeing The A-Team, which is so much more stupid fun than it has any right being. I mean, really.

In particular, Patrick Wilson is amazing in it. If you watched the trailers, you'd barely even know he had a role, what with the 2 second snippet of him being dressed down by a superior, in a scene that isn't even in the movie. Sharlto Copley is also good. Apparently you should stay through the credits, too. I didn't. I will have to go again...

Way ahead of you!

Date: 2010-06-14 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
I wanted to see The A-Team since the trailer actually got me to laugh out loud at one scene--which was the bit where Murdoch got himself half electrocuted using a defribulator on an ambulance. I can't believe that scene was longer and funnier in the actual movie. Which I made my sister come with to see and which we enjoyed immensely. Especially Sharlto Copely, seeing as he was playing my favorite character and he was the funniest thing in the movie. Patrick Wilson was definitely decent. He's got some venom to him which I hadn't previously seen.

And yes, I made my sister stay through the credits. It's nothing much, but we got another laugh out of it.

You are going to link to me to your review, y/y?

Re: Way ahead of you!

Date: 2010-06-14 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] droidguy1119.livejournal.com
OK, sure.

http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/44127/a-team-2010-the/

I had to run to work after my screening and was prevented from staying through the credits. I will have to go again to catch the cameos.

Re: Way ahead of you!

Date: 2010-06-14 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] droidguy1119.livejournal.com
Dur. I already said that about the end. I'm tired.

Re: Way ahead of you!

Date: 2010-06-14 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Very nice review. I'm amazed you can bang these out so quick after seeing the movie. Takes me at least a week to work out what did/didn't work for me in a movie.

Re: Way ahead of you!

Date: 2010-06-14 02:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] droidguy1119.livejournal.com
Thanks. The downside of having to be fast is that 9 times out of 10 my opinion shifts slightly between when I write it and when it goes up, and/or I forget at least one specific thing I really wanted to say.

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