Hilarious

Mar. 30th, 2012 06:03 pm
trinityvixen: (blogging from work)
[personal profile] trinityvixen
I have never bought a lottery ticket in my life. I have gotten (but never purchased myself) scratch-off cards, which are a hoot, especially the crossword-style ones. Someone just came around to collect $1 for people to buy into what promises to be a disgusting payout in some lottery game. I pitched in. Why not? Solidarity. Plus, as I told the woman collecting, I've already spent about $6 on sodas I can't drink for class. When I told that my project was swabbing cans of soda from various vendors to check what microbes are growing on them, she made the same face that, well, just about everyone has since I started telling people about this project.

I also learned there's a west coast-east coast difference in drinking soda, whereby east coasters all use straws and west coasters don't. Anyone want to verify that? I know I drink with straws, but that's for a variety of practical and stupid reasons (I can get at every last drop of soda that way; it doesn't stain my teeth as badly; I don't have to put my mouth on the dirty fucking can; I just like straws, etc. etc.) I didn't used to growing up, from what I can remember. Although, there was that time a family friend's daughter scared the crap out of me and told me to never drink dark sodas or to look in the can before drinking first because one time this friend she knew drank a soda and there was a bee in it and she got stung in the mouth and and and...

I was a very gullible kid. Of course, I believed every word of this. To this day, I don't eat hamburgers at any fast food joints because my brother scared me off of them as a kid by saying that they spat on their hands when they made the patties at McDonald's and that old rats were ground into the meat. I always ate chicken after that. (He tried to scare me off that, too, by saying chicken nuggets were rat heads, but at that point my hunger overtook my caution, and I had to eat something.) I realize now that a) McDonald's doesn't make its own patties and b) there are probably worse things in them than rats, but it's something that's stuck.

Wow, that was a whole post about nothing. Have a good weekend everybody!

Date: 2012-03-30 10:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivy03.livejournal.com
I heard the exact same story about the bee in the can! Only it supposedly happened to a friend of my cousin's...

I overheard coworkers talking about the lotto, and thought about buying a ticket, and thought--I'm pretty sure winning that jackpot would ruin my life. So I'm just going to pass on the infinitessimal odds, thank you.

Date: 2012-03-30 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mobiuswolf.livejournal.com
I'm not too sure about this East Coasters drink soda from a can with a straw... in that I don't and none of the people I know do. This may be due to a general lack of straws, because the cans are pretty cruddy, I try and wash the top of the can before drinking from it if I'm at work or at home.

Having seen yellow jackets hanging out on, and crawling into, opened cans of soda, I always check mine carefully if I'm outside. No sense in risking getting stung.

Date: 2012-04-02 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jethrien.livejournal.com
I bought into the office pool because while winning the lottery would ruin my life, being the only person in a very small company not to win would also ruin my life. So I might as well have a few months of crazy riches in my ruined life.

Date: 2012-04-02 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Winning the lottery doesn't ruin your life. People bug you for money more. Big humping deal. You have so much money, you can run away forever to places people can't bother you.

Date: 2012-04-02 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
The can thing seemed more plausible than many urban legends because if you ever ate at a picnic near bees, you'd see them land on just about anything, including sugary soda cans.

Don't think we won the lotto. Unless I hear that the woman organizing it ran off without telling anyone.

Date: 2012-04-02 02:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ivy03.livejournal.com
Unless I hear that the woman organizing it ran off without telling anyone.

That's happened. I read about a court case recently where the guy in charge of the pool claimed that the winning ticket was one he'd bought entirely independently of the pool. The court made him share his winnings, but he still got to keep most of it.

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