The hilarity
Jan. 25th, 2006 05:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trinityvixenThis is yet another example of why that 'weirdness' meme deserves to be longer than five items for me:
So, little known fact about me: when I enjoy a work of fiction--book, play, movie, etc--I find it really amusing then go to the Pit of Voles (aka fanfic. net) to find out what the fanbrats have done to it. Right up there with the "if it's possible to fetishize, someone has a site devoted to it" law of the interenet is this: if it hits the mainstream, the fanbrats hit right back. I'm a little scarred, to tell you the truth, after I browsed the King Arthur listings (fanbrats were in heaven--lots of gorgeous men all attracted to the meek, uninteresting, young Keira Knightly = self insertion Sues for the fandom like rats for the sewers). I won't even go into the horror that is The Phantom of the Opera fanfic (this is because the movie utterly ruined everything, you ask me--I went for the musical and the book, damn it!).
The exceptions I make to this fanfic browsing rule are for movies/books/et al that are esoteric, quirky, or independent enough that they ought not to have fanfiction and would break my head if they did (because I saw it so recently, Eternal Sunshine is coming immediately to mind); or if the original work was especially beloved that it might ruin the enjoyment I get out of it by reading other idiots' interpretations (think Lord of the Rings here).
Anyway, I was diverted by The Fantastic Four, as I shared at length earlier today, so I wandered over and plugged into the wavelength of the fanbrats. There are the normal assortments of Mary Sues, slashed pairs that oughtn't to be there, and the TWUWUV main canon pairings (from one film! one! I can't even complain because I've done this to myself, I realize). But some of the wordings and phrasings just had me giggling from the get go.
Check these out:
1) "When Suzie Storm, the Invisible Woman, goes missing, the Fantastic four goes out to search for her..."
Right, because they have any proof that she's not just playing silly buggers and staying, I dunno, invisible??? Seriously, at what point do you assume an invisible person is missing instead of just being really hard to not see? Comic fans, help me out: do they call her Suzie, either?
2) "...ProDoom, as if you didn't guess."
I like that, I really do. 'ProDoom' is officially my new favorite fanfic abbreviation ever. I think instead of making my LJ name "Woo Scarf'd!" I'll make it ProDoom. Also, is it just me, or does this sound like Doom's latest strategy to take over the world is by releasing really scary Latverian software?
3) "Life lesson number 1. Do not, repeat, DO NOT...develop feelings for your brother in law"
For those of you who are living and do not have a brother-in-law, please proceed directly to Life lesson number 2.
4) "Something is wrong with Johnny Storm. His body is out of control, burning up with a fever unimaginable for the Human Torch."
Why is it a major crisis if the guy who can go hot as the sun has a temperature? Honestly, shouldn't he be more worried if he's not burning up?
5) "When you're a Human Torch, oxygen can be your best friend or your worst enemy."
It's funny, but I thought humans in general didn't have that problem. Either you make the friends with Oxygen, or you make like its discoverer--dead.
6) "Ben has a choice... his fiance, or the people he saves."
Way to ruin the ending, you twat. Obviously, if he saves them, Ben choses the people.
7) "Johnny is recommended to attend Xabiers school for Gifted Youngsters..."
That's the Mutant Academy for dumb-ass fanbrat cross-over writers. We don't allow them to mix with the good writers, I hope you understand.
8) "What if the members of the Fantastic Four had received their magnificent powers when they were only thirteen and fourteen years old?"
I bet they'd be totally okay with it. Any teenagers who can get the governments/billionaires of the world to shuttle them into space are probably totally all there in the head, man.
9) "What if Victor Von Dooms Niece came with him on that trip up to space and also got powers herself. What will happen. And will Johnny and her ever get along, and why am I talking like this"
Look, I don't even have to try! This is clearly the best story in the universe. It makes the question mark useless. Who would have thought.
10) "Rude language! PLZ REVIEW!"
There are no words.
So, little known fact about me: when I enjoy a work of fiction--book, play, movie, etc--I find it really amusing then go to the Pit of Voles (aka fanfic. net) to find out what the fanbrats have done to it. Right up there with the "if it's possible to fetishize, someone has a site devoted to it" law of the interenet is this: if it hits the mainstream, the fanbrats hit right back. I'm a little scarred, to tell you the truth, after I browsed the King Arthur listings (fanbrats were in heaven--lots of gorgeous men all attracted to the meek, uninteresting, young Keira Knightly = self insertion Sues for the fandom like rats for the sewers). I won't even go into the horror that is The Phantom of the Opera fanfic (this is because the movie utterly ruined everything, you ask me--I went for the musical and the book, damn it!).
The exceptions I make to this fanfic browsing rule are for movies/books/et al that are esoteric, quirky, or independent enough that they ought not to have fanfiction and would break my head if they did (because I saw it so recently, Eternal Sunshine is coming immediately to mind); or if the original work was especially beloved that it might ruin the enjoyment I get out of it by reading other idiots' interpretations (think Lord of the Rings here).
Anyway, I was diverted by The Fantastic Four, as I shared at length earlier today, so I wandered over and plugged into the wavelength of the fanbrats. There are the normal assortments of Mary Sues, slashed pairs that oughtn't to be there, and the TWUWUV main canon pairings (from one film! one! I can't even complain because I've done this to myself, I realize). But some of the wordings and phrasings just had me giggling from the get go.
Check these out:
1) "When Suzie Storm, the Invisible Woman, goes missing, the Fantastic four goes out to search for her..."
Right, because they have any proof that she's not just playing silly buggers and staying, I dunno, invisible??? Seriously, at what point do you assume an invisible person is missing instead of just being really hard to not see? Comic fans, help me out: do they call her Suzie, either?
2) "...ProDoom, as if you didn't guess."
I like that, I really do. 'ProDoom' is officially my new favorite fanfic abbreviation ever. I think instead of making my LJ name "Woo Scarf'd!" I'll make it ProDoom. Also, is it just me, or does this sound like Doom's latest strategy to take over the world is by releasing really scary Latverian software?
3) "Life lesson number 1. Do not, repeat, DO NOT...develop feelings for your brother in law"
For those of you who are living and do not have a brother-in-law, please proceed directly to Life lesson number 2.
4) "Something is wrong with Johnny Storm. His body is out of control, burning up with a fever unimaginable for the Human Torch."
Why is it a major crisis if the guy who can go hot as the sun has a temperature? Honestly, shouldn't he be more worried if he's not burning up?
5) "When you're a Human Torch, oxygen can be your best friend or your worst enemy."
It's funny, but I thought humans in general didn't have that problem. Either you make the friends with Oxygen, or you make like its discoverer--dead.
6) "Ben has a choice... his fiance, or the people he saves."
Way to ruin the ending, you twat. Obviously, if he saves them, Ben choses the people.
7) "Johnny is recommended to attend Xabiers school for Gifted Youngsters..."
That's the Mutant Academy for dumb-ass fanbrat cross-over writers. We don't allow them to mix with the good writers, I hope you understand.
8) "What if the members of the Fantastic Four had received their magnificent powers when they were only thirteen and fourteen years old?"
I bet they'd be totally okay with it. Any teenagers who can get the governments/billionaires of the world to shuttle them into space are probably totally all there in the head, man.
9) "What if Victor Von Dooms Niece came with him on that trip up to space and also got powers herself. What will happen. And will Johnny and her ever get along, and why am I talking like this"
Look, I don't even have to try! This is clearly the best story in the universe. It makes the question mark useless. Who would have thought.
10) "Rude language! PLZ REVIEW!"
There are no words.
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-26 03:25 pm (UTC)