trinityvixen: (octopus)
[personal profile] trinityvixen
I said it was coming. I was just busy yelling at [livejournal.com profile] arcane_the_sage for saying things that make me wish I were dead about my favorite character ever from Battlestar Galactica getting it on with the WORSTEST MOST AWFUL UGLY PIECE OF TRASH EVER from Buffy (and yeah, that includes all the monsters and the hillbilly vamps in that one episode).

Ahem. Anyway, have a Snakes on a Plane review, now that a sizeable number of you have seen the film.

Okay, I had a keen time of it. Going on the preview night with a couple hundred of my closest neighbors in New York City? Awesome. There was much shouting and constant hissing which, although it made some lines impossible to hear (like the infamous "I'm tired...!" line that was specifically reshot to be in the movie due to fan demand), was still pretty fun. Like a tamer version of what I imagine Rocky Horror live shows to be (because I am still a weeeeee bit wary of actually going to one).

And the movie was actually pretty funny. It struck just about the right tone of serious/totally not. I have no idea how Samuel L. Jackson kept from laughing because he was obviously having a great time and still making it semi-serious. The snakes weren't really ever scary given that the first few deaths from snakebite were so ridiculous and the snakes moving over the plane were so cute, I really couldn't be scared. Snakeys!!! I jumped once--once!--when the stewardess came in and had to give the axe to a scary-looking rattler (I know I know what species that was, damn it, why can't I remember!?).

Plus, [Blanks] on a [Blank] won't stop being funny for a while. Lisa-roommate's boyfriend found a website that had a competition for best [Blanks] on a [Blank] submissions, and I think Racoons on a Spaceship won (personally, Sloths on a Tank should have won hands down). I'll see if I can locate that later.

Fun silliness aside, I could be pretty mightily pissed about the portrayal of the snakes (I did used to own one, and my baby scared a lot of people needlessly, though, for the most part, my friends were so incredibly cool with him and with me freezing his dead fish in our suite freezer). If I were going to start down that road, though, I'd never stop. I have to give the bad guy props--you don't have to get the snakes to bite the right guy if they take down the plane--though the logistics of getting those snakes from the states to Hawai'i for a continental-US-bound flight boggles the mind. Better they had originated with the crazy snake collector in Hawai'i (Hawai'i doesn't naturally have to have snakes if he's a renegade collector anyway). And pardon me, but saying "Ah, they were cold-blooded, so we missed them with heat scanners!" is stupid because cold-blooded animals are not always at ambient temperature (if they were, all the pheremones in the world wouldn't have moved those snakes because without heat energy, they have almost none without having just eaten--so, catch 22: they need food to have energy to move if they're that cold, but to have energy to eat they have to be warm enough to move...).

But, like I said, not going down that road. I'm just going to smile and go "OooH! Snakey!"

Most unrealistic thing was the airplane not being full up and people being served dinner. I don't know what high-falutin airline this is, but even before the recent travel restrictions, you'd be hard-pressed to find a domestic flight (yes, even one going to Hawai'i) that serves you food. On a red-eye. My foot.

An interesting article I read recently talked about the upswing in pet sales after famous movies starring certain types of dog (i.e. Dalmatians being bought up after 101 Dalmatians or sales of whatever that shaved rat type of dog Paris Hilton carries around is when she got 'popular'). Somehow, I doubt that will translate to an upswing of snake purchases. At least, I hope not. I understand some people not understanding what a commitment it is to take care of the Husky they bought after seeing Eight Below or something, but people have this tendency to stick it out with fluffy, slobbery pets more than elegant, scaly ones, which makes me worry that snake pets will just be "let go," which is horribly cruel.

Aww, I kinda want another snakey. This time, I'd get the really pretty green snake that was littler than my Sano-snake. I could feed him minnows! Teh cutez0rs!!!!

Date: 2006-08-21 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chuckro.livejournal.com
Eels on a hovercraft!

Date: 2006-08-21 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
ACK! That's awesome!

I like Mules on a Swampboat, too.

Date: 2006-08-21 04:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jethrien.livejournal.com
Chinchillas on a Paddleboat!

Date: 2006-08-21 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Crabs on a Segway!

Date: 2006-08-21 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Dingos on a Breadbasket!

Date: 2006-08-21 04:42 pm (UTC)
ext_27667: (Default)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
Who's getting it on with who from Buffy?!

Date: 2006-08-21 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Ack, go here (http://trinityvixen.livejournal.com/257307.html) and read the first thread about "Team Emo." It makes me need to hurt something.

Date: 2006-08-21 06:35 pm (UTC)
ext_27667: (Default)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
You're just upset at the idea of Angel having sex. :P

Date: 2006-08-21 07:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
WITH STARBUCK!!! FFFUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!!!

That's so wrong. That's like if a cave troll raped Illyria to you. That's what it's like--RAPE.

Date: 2006-08-21 07:15 pm (UTC)
ext_27667: (Default)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
LOL!

Thanks for that mental image.

Date: 2006-08-21 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
CAVE TROLL PENIS IN YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE.

That's what it was like for me. Implying that Starbuck would sleep with gaaah, can't even say it. Starbuck jumping Clark Kent? Much more sense--he's pretty and stupid, and she's always game for that. But ANGEL? BARFFFF

Date: 2006-08-21 08:49 pm (UTC)
ext_27667: (Default)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
Pfff, it'd never get past her armor. She's impenetrable, like Clark Kent's ass of steel.

Date: 2006-08-21 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Uh, which has been penetrated many a time by Lex Luthor (who's the bitch on that show, really? I mean, it's not even a contest). So, you basically just said that Illyria+Cave Troll Cock = OTP!

Date: 2006-08-21 09:16 pm (UTC)
ext_27667: (and blue)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
Hey, for all I know, she likes the Cave Troll cock better than the human cock. Humans are gross.

Date: 2006-08-21 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
This is probably true. It is a Joss show. He would go there, if anyone would.

Date: 2006-08-21 09:40 pm (UTC)
ext_27667: (weslyria)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
Well, YEAH.

Considering that if Season Six had happened there would have been Wesley/Illyria sex, and... not to put too fine a point on it, because it is my canon OTP and I like it, but there is an inherent ick factor in sleeping with what is technically your dead girlfriend's body after it's been taken over by an ancient demon god.

No matter how hot you find the blue hair or the red leather armor.

Date: 2006-08-21 09:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Nah, it's like in movies where the girl always falls in love with the twin brother of the dead guy. Never mind that that is soooo shallow, it's fucking creepy! The hell!?

Then again, I'd sooner have done Illyria than Fred, too, so can't blame him...

Date: 2006-08-21 09:52 pm (UTC)
ext_27667: (bored fred)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
WORD.

Maybe Fred would like some Cave Troll Cock.

Date: 2006-08-21 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
...didn't they first meet her...IN A CAVE!?!?!

Whatever could she have been doing there?

Date: 2006-08-22 01:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chuckro.livejournal.com
I would have gone for Fred before Illyria. Partially because geek girls are hot. Partially because Illyria might snap me in half...

Date: 2006-08-22 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
She struck me as annoying from all of two episodes I saw with her (not Illyria) in it. I'd take the snapping if it meant not suffering.

Date: 2006-08-22 12:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chuckro.livejournal.com
...she was in three seasons of Angel. Did you just start watching late in season five?

Fred's a fun character, mostly because she's a nutty, nerdy little physicist. Granted, Amy Acker is almost freakish in her thinness, but it's nice to see a character who isn't capable of taken down a dozen vampires on their own. Also, she has the greatest parents on a TV show ever.

Date: 2006-08-22 02:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
I never watched Angel. I saw the episode where they go to the alternate world and meet Fred and I saw the one where she became Illyria (I think I saw another one where Illyria was gonna go 'splode, but I can't remember it well enough to say how much I saw).

So, from the two episodes I was exposed to, she irked me.

Date: 2006-08-22 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chuckro.livejournal.com
Okay, part one: In your copious free time, you should watch Angel. And any Buffy that you haven't already seen. Yes, I know, you don't like the Broodmeister himself, but the show is a lot of fun at points, and Joss is my master...I will follow the will of Joss...

Part two: You mean you haven't watched the entire sequence with Zoey guest-starring as a goddess? What kind of a Firefly fangirl are you?

^_^

Date: 2006-08-22 04:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arcane-the-sage.livejournal.com
Dude, you left out Angel the Muppet. Plenty of people I know who disliked the show loved that one episode. How can you go wrong with a muppet?

Date: 2006-08-22 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
I heard Gina Torres was on that show, but I won't watch a show just for her. She's not one of those. I did watch season five of Smallville for James Marsters--he is one of those.

I do need to round out my Buffy watchage. The college years are a tad fuzzy (I never finished out the Initiative story and I know only most of Glory's season), and I only did about half of the evil Willow year (the good half, but still). The last season was so obnoxiously long, wrong, and yeah, but I have actually seen most of that. Oh well.

Angel...god, [livejournal.com profile] viridian is going to get me to watch it sometime. If not, my brother's girlfriend will.

Date: 2006-08-25 02:43 am (UTC)
ext_27667: (and blue)
From: [identity profile] viridian.livejournal.com
She would snap you in half, and you would LIKE IT. BITCH. !!!!!!

Date: 2006-08-25 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
::giggles:: 'Cause she's the Juggernaut, bitch!

Date: 2006-08-21 04:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arcane-the-sage.livejournal.com
I am SO expanding on some of what you wrote in my Snakes on a Plane review ^_^

Date: 2006-08-21 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Yeah, I kinda thought you would. Have at it. I'm taking it with a grain of salt because I know better than the movie does, and I doubt most people would take the movie serious enough to believe what happened could happen.

Date: 2006-08-21 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jethrien.livejournal.com
which makes me worry that snake pets will just be "let go,"

Worse, if they're literally let go. Bad enough to just let them die, worse to let them die while scaring the crap out of other people.

Date: 2006-08-21 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
Yeah, and I can't adopt anything that would eat my kitties. That's why I can't get another snake, either--the kitties would try to eat it.

Date: 2006-08-21 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] happyelfling.livejournal.com
suck it up and go to a live Rocky show! you won't be sorry.

Date: 2006-08-21 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trinityvixen.livejournal.com
I guess. I'm not a huge fan of the movie or anything, and we did a semi-live show with jethrien and chuckro which was cute. That was enough for me.

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