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trinityvixenBecause I have just seen the trailer for BloodRayne 3, and I have never been so sorry I ever demanded that a film franchise based on a video game actually use the plot of the video game.
As a refresher, here's what I said at the time:
Why move Rayne backwards in time to some indeterminate middle ages-y type land? What's wrong with having it set in the time frame of the first game and have Rayne fighting evil zombie Creoles and Nazis? I mean, at least you can get behind her slaughtering Nazis, right? I bet that's what the development team thought when they made the game...
Then I saw this trailer:
I have the most incredible of bad tastes in my mouth right now. I get why Nazis are your villains, in an Uwe Boll script where the potential to mock the shit out of that concept was a bad, bad idea. (And not just because the "Germans" sound like Americans.) You can totally make Nazis your villains in a genre film, but they have to be over-the-top, scenery-chewing, take-the-piss-out-of-the-Third-Reich crazy villains. Like the zombie Nazis in Dod Sno. (Hee, I love that movie!) It's just so...icky to see some talentless hack like Uwe Boll--who thinks he's making something serious--throw them into a third BloodRayne movie.
I have to go rinse my brain with bleach.
*Oh, I still object to the first BloodRayne movie, it's just that when I actually watched it, it had the dubious honor of being not the worst vampire movie I ever saw. It also had the honor of having the worst wig in any movie until that title was usurped by Ian Ziering in Aztec Rex.
The worst vampire movie I ever saw, at the time, was Underworld: Evolution. I even had a face-off with the two movies, Underworld: Evolution and BloodRayne and, for the first and last time ever, an Uwe Boll movie was not the worst one in a line-up. At this point, I've seen several worse movies than either of them, but it must be a special victory for the overpriced Underworld movies that they've managed to beat BloodRayne after all this time.** Then again, they still have yet another ill-advised sequel or prequel or something rumored in the works, so there's always more time in this race to the bottom.
**Cause they totally felt the burn when I harshed all over them. You know it.
As a refresher, here's what I said at the time:
Why move Rayne backwards in time to some indeterminate middle ages-y type land? What's wrong with having it set in the time frame of the first game and have Rayne fighting evil zombie Creoles and Nazis? I mean, at least you can get behind her slaughtering Nazis, right? I bet that's what the development team thought when they made the game...
Then I saw this trailer:
I have the most incredible of bad tastes in my mouth right now. I get why Nazis are your villains, in an Uwe Boll script where the potential to mock the shit out of that concept was a bad, bad idea. (And not just because the "Germans" sound like Americans.) You can totally make Nazis your villains in a genre film, but they have to be over-the-top, scenery-chewing, take-the-piss-out-of-the-Third-Reich crazy villains. Like the zombie Nazis in Dod Sno. (Hee, I love that movie!) It's just so...icky to see some talentless hack like Uwe Boll--who thinks he's making something serious--throw them into a third BloodRayne movie.
I have to go rinse my brain with bleach.
*Oh, I still object to the first BloodRayne movie, it's just that when I actually watched it, it had the dubious honor of being not the worst vampire movie I ever saw. It also had the honor of having the worst wig in any movie until that title was usurped by Ian Ziering in Aztec Rex.
The worst vampire movie I ever saw, at the time, was Underworld: Evolution. I even had a face-off with the two movies, Underworld: Evolution and BloodRayne and, for the first and last time ever, an Uwe Boll movie was not the worst one in a line-up. At this point, I've seen several worse movies than either of them, but it must be a special victory for the overpriced Underworld movies that they've managed to beat BloodRayne after all this time.** Then again, they still have yet another ill-advised sequel or prequel or something rumored in the works, so there's always more time in this race to the bottom.
**Cause they totally felt the burn when I harshed all over them. You know it.
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Date: 2010-11-09 06:07 pm (UTC)Man, I still need to see Dod Sno. Wanted to see it in the theater when it was released and came fairly close to here, but procrastinated and missed it.
Whoa, you think Underworld: Evolution is a worse vampire film than BloodRayne? Hmm... I don't know if I can agree with that, but that could just be because BloodRayne hurt me more.
Haha oh yeah, those bastards know better than to piss you off again. ; )
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Date: 2010-11-10 06:59 pm (UTC)Underworld: Evolution was dreadful. I probably grade it worse knowing that it had a budget and SOME internal logic as a series prior to that installment. BloodRayne you expect to be that bad. I will say that Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is kinda hilarious, though.
Dod Sno was so awesome, my 60-year-old mother loved it. Two severed thumbs up!
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Date: 2010-11-10 04:31 pm (UTC)So....what you're saying is that we have you to blame?
....
....
Why do you hate humanity so that would inflict such terrible plagues upon us?
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Date: 2010-11-10 07:00 pm (UTC)