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trinityvixenI am the first person to get extremely annoyed at slashers. Look, you people have all the goddamned right in the world to think two dudes (or ladies, but you do so less often) are boning each other because they were friends/were enemies/said "hi" to each other/shared an overlapping second of screen time together. But it's very irritating to those of us who appreciate seeing homosociality (same-sex, deep and abiding friendships) done well onscreen. Because those relationships are devolved into slash. VERY ANNOYING.
That being said,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
linaerys linked me to this fantastic, soon-to-be-on-TV-Tropes-if-it-isn't-already idea of No Heterosexual Explanation Moments. This nice blogger has a very good point. Occasionally, you watch something and you know that there is absolutely no feasible way to explain any of what's going on other than two people, of the same sex, are clearly hot for each other. Or, at least, one of them is. Take Spartacus: Blood and Sand. (No, please. Take it.) There be more titties flying over that show than you can get in a night out on a coochie bar crawl with the crew of Girls Gone Wild. Spartacus and his beeeeeeest friiiiiieeeeeeend, uh, what's his name, Cupid? They're both mourning women they cannot have because they're imprisoned/because she's dead, whatever. (A prison where you turn into an unstoppable killing machine? Hard to see how that plan could go wrong for the guards!) But even my father knows that Cupid wants Spartacus more than he wants air. No, for real, I watched one episode, mid-season, of that show with my dad, and after one scene went down, I just blurted out, forgetting I was with my Dad, "Wow. Cupid wants Spartacus so hard." My Dad, definitely embarrassed, probably uncomfortable, but ultimately honest, said, "You know, I think you're right."
That, ladies and gents, is a genuine "No Heterosexual Explanation Moment" right the fuck there. And that is what The Fast and the Furious series of movies has become. I mean, yes, there were those elements there from the beginning, although I still think that, compared to the movie it clearly was inspired by, Point Break, The Fast and the Furious has A. Lot. of gay ground to cover, even with all the muscles and muscle cars. So much of the first The Fast and the Furious movie is about Paul Walker's character essentially being a punk who wants approval from anybody that whatever bedroom leers and grunts are exchanged between him and Vin Diesel are lost. Plus, Vin Diesel had the undeniably sexier Michelle Rodriguez, who, in addition to being sexier is already more of a man than Paul Walker, so why the hell would he switch (ugh) gears? Besides, you can't out-gay the combination of Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves.
Or, at least, you couldn't until Fast Five. Part of the problem is the way women have been entirely side-lined in the series. I won't go into the egregiously misogynist overtones to these movies. Women mostly exist as car trophies--literally, most of the female roles are uncredited and underdressed ladies draped over muscle cars. (Compensating? For what?) Vin Diesel's character's girlfriend is MIA, and the sister is basically a fleshlight that can talk for Paul Walker's character. As the tokenest of token roles for women have been shed or winnowed down such that it is nearly impossible to remember why they're even in the movies at all (Jordana Brewster, you are Wasting. Your. Time.), it becomes increasingly impossible to figure out how one justifies any of the relationships in the movie--specifically, Vin Diesel's and Paul Walker's--without having to declare that there is no heterosexual explanation. There just...isn't.
I cannot say more without "spoiling" the latest movie. But it shouldn't be a surprise when I tell you that, between having a film franchise based on two dudes and the steady elimination of any female characters that could possibly come between them, this movie is the gaaaaaaaaaaaayest Fast and Furious of them all. You can't fight it. Vin Diesel and Paul Walker have a conversation about their pasts. Vin Diesel freaking hugs Paul Walker at one point. Bring on the rainbow flags.
Fast Five was ridiculous, but I feel like critiquing it on those grounds is pointless. It's like being mad that the dancers in something like Step it Up 2 or whatever aren't good actors. Are you there to see a plot, with logical procession from conflict to climax to resolution, or are you there to see Vin Diesel get into a fight with The Rock? Yeah, I thought as much. My brother-in-law and younger sister were talking about the biggest chase (because naturally there were several) and how implausible it was. For my part, I kept mum because a) it's nonsensical to make an issue out of how unrealistic The Fast and the Furious movies are, since that's what you pay for, and b) I was certain my grumpiness over the fact that women were completely without agency in the movie wouldn't impress anybody. (I said I wouldn't go into it, but, come on. The movie is almost blithely indifferent to how multi-cultural its cast is, even though the white guys are the stars, but women? They are to be having the sex with. And maybe working the phone during the heist.)
What's interesting to me is the overt interest in turning this franchise into something more like the Ocean's Eleven movies. The very premise of drawing together all the characters from other films to fill certain roles, and even giving those roles specific names (not as clever as the ones in the Ocean's movies, but you get the idea), is an attempt to move beyond Macho Posturing: The Series. I find it funny that they went that route in the most macho-est, posturing-est outing to date.
Feel free to agree/disagree in comments. There will probably be spoilers!
That being said,
linaerys linked me to this fantastic, soon-to-be-on-TV-Tropes-if-it-isn't-already idea of No Heterosexual Explanation Moments. This nice blogger has a very good point. Occasionally, you watch something and you know that there is absolutely no feasible way to explain any of what's going on other than two people, of the same sex, are clearly hot for each other. Or, at least, one of them is. Take Spartacus: Blood and Sand. (No, please. Take it.) There be more titties flying over that show than you can get in a night out on a coochie bar crawl with the crew of Girls Gone Wild. Spartacus and his beeeeeeest friiiiiieeeeeeend, uh, what's his name, Cupid? They're both mourning women they cannot have because they're imprisoned/because she's dead, whatever. (A prison where you turn into an unstoppable killing machine? Hard to see how that plan could go wrong for the guards!) But even my father knows that Cupid wants Spartacus more than he wants air. No, for real, I watched one episode, mid-season, of that show with my dad, and after one scene went down, I just blurted out, forgetting I was with my Dad, "Wow. Cupid wants Spartacus so hard." My Dad, definitely embarrassed, probably uncomfortable, but ultimately honest, said, "You know, I think you're right."That, ladies and gents, is a genuine "No Heterosexual Explanation Moment" right the fuck there. And that is what The Fast and the Furious series of movies has become. I mean, yes, there were those elements there from the beginning, although I still think that, compared to the movie it clearly was inspired by, Point Break, The Fast and the Furious has A. Lot. of gay ground to cover, even with all the muscles and muscle cars. So much of the first The Fast and the Furious movie is about Paul Walker's character essentially being a punk who wants approval from anybody that whatever bedroom leers and grunts are exchanged between him and Vin Diesel are lost. Plus, Vin Diesel had the undeniably sexier Michelle Rodriguez, who, in addition to being sexier is already more of a man than Paul Walker, so why the hell would he switch (ugh) gears? Besides, you can't out-gay the combination of Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves.
Or, at least, you couldn't until Fast Five. Part of the problem is the way women have been entirely side-lined in the series. I won't go into the egregiously misogynist overtones to these movies. Women mostly exist as car trophies--literally, most of the female roles are uncredited and underdressed ladies draped over muscle cars. (Compensating? For what?) Vin Diesel's character's girlfriend is MIA, and the sister is basically a fleshlight that can talk for Paul Walker's character. As the tokenest of token roles for women have been shed or winnowed down such that it is nearly impossible to remember why they're even in the movies at all (Jordana Brewster, you are Wasting. Your. Time.), it becomes increasingly impossible to figure out how one justifies any of the relationships in the movie--specifically, Vin Diesel's and Paul Walker's--without having to declare that there is no heterosexual explanation. There just...isn't.
I cannot say more without "spoiling" the latest movie. But it shouldn't be a surprise when I tell you that, between having a film franchise based on two dudes and the steady elimination of any female characters that could possibly come between them, this movie is the gaaaaaaaaaaaayest Fast and Furious of them all. You can't fight it. Vin Diesel and Paul Walker have a conversation about their pasts. Vin Diesel freaking hugs Paul Walker at one point. Bring on the rainbow flags.
Fast Five was ridiculous, but I feel like critiquing it on those grounds is pointless. It's like being mad that the dancers in something like Step it Up 2 or whatever aren't good actors. Are you there to see a plot, with logical procession from conflict to climax to resolution, or are you there to see Vin Diesel get into a fight with The Rock? Yeah, I thought as much. My brother-in-law and younger sister were talking about the biggest chase (because naturally there were several) and how implausible it was. For my part, I kept mum because a) it's nonsensical to make an issue out of how unrealistic The Fast and the Furious movies are, since that's what you pay for, and b) I was certain my grumpiness over the fact that women were completely without agency in the movie wouldn't impress anybody. (I said I wouldn't go into it, but, come on. The movie is almost blithely indifferent to how multi-cultural its cast is, even though the white guys are the stars, but women? They are to be having the sex with. And maybe working the phone during the heist.)
What's interesting to me is the overt interest in turning this franchise into something more like the Ocean's Eleven movies. The very premise of drawing together all the characters from other films to fill certain roles, and even giving those roles specific names (not as clever as the ones in the Ocean's movies, but you get the idea), is an attempt to move beyond Macho Posturing: The Series. I find it funny that they went that route in the most macho-est, posturing-est outing to date.
Feel free to agree/disagree in comments. There will probably be spoilers!
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no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:06 pm (UTC)Also, I'm really sorry, given this excellent discussion, we didn't get to see these together. Some time, when I actually make the mistake of watching the two where Vin Diesel is not in them, I'll definitely have to do it with you.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:14 pm (UTC)Tokyo Drift, on the other hand, is full of RACEFAIL. Not only is it set in Tokyo with a white main character, his love interest and his sidekick aren't Japanese (though they're not white either). You can tell how evil a character is by how poorly he speaks English. The good Japanese character, Han? Perfect English. But he also exists as a sensei, so he's there for exoticism. The main antagonist, accented English. The super bad guys? No English at all. It's kind of appalling.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:20 pm (UTC)Also, some more relevant thoughts: I agree on the non-RaceFAIL of this movie. I actually died laughing at the two Latino brothers. (My sister said they reminded her of the two brothers from Ocean's Eleven, which is probably why I thought the movies were on similar tracks.) They all brought something very different, and not necessarily stereotypical to the plate. Except, of course, the women, like the supposed Mossad agent who was too skinny to breathe, much less hurt anyone.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:23 pm (UTC)But the Mossad agent is at least played by an Israeli, unlike some other shows I could mention. *cough*NCIS!*cough*
no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 05:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 07:33 pm (UTC)That said, at least for the car girls, that's somewhat accurate. Just like the American version, Japanese urban street racing culture is pre-dominantly a minority culture. It's just that in Japan that means other kinds of Asian.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 07:21 pm (UTC);)