The Rabbit Hole

Mostly movies.

I finally saw the one Star Trek TOS movie I'd never seen recently: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Bad as advertised with the caveat that DeForest Kelley remained amazing just about everywhere he was allowed to be. If the movie was just two hours of him snarking at EVERYBODY, it would have been the best Trek movie of all time.

Besides the general badness of that movie, the thing that really bugged me? Atheist God. ( Wait, what? )

I can't believe a movie that bad inspired that much ranting. Moving on...

I was really pissed off last night as I watched Quarantine, which was a fairly decent spookfest designed around your basic monster-in-the-house/new zombie epidemic lines, and lost the very last minute to a DVD error. Have to get a better disc next time. But it definitely merits a rent if you like that sort of thing. I didn't even mind the cameraman whose footage is the movie (think Cloverfield) technique because they actually used that to tell the damn story.

( Some slight spoilers for how they told the story with a first-person cameraman. )

Jennifer Carpenter scares the crap out of me. If she were in every horror movie I ever saw, I'd never see another one because she is so believably scared, you panic and freak out right along with her. The movie wouldn't have been half so great without her in it.

The Dead Girl, which I added to my Watch It Now queue on Netflix because I was looking for Deadgirl and it sounded interesting, was a stupid movie with far too many stars in it. Toni Collette and Giovanni Ribisi are in it for two minutes, and it's a waste of both their talent. They're fabulous (bonus points for Ribisi calling rape, well, rape), but they needed to be doing better things which show how awesome they are. Rose Byrne, James Franco, Mary Steenburgen, Bruce Davison, Marcia Gay Harden, Josh Brolin, and Brittany Murphy...my god, it's a Six-Degrees-of-Separation gold mine. The movie was meh, but I just thought I'd toss that out there for folk who like to stay one up on the Six Degrees-age.

Last but not least, I'm all for a retrospective on American Psycho, seeing as it's one of the most slyly clever movies I've ever seen, but I cannot forgive this grievous error. I don't care if it's a typo:

On release, audiences were similarly divided. Whilst it made a respectable $15 million in the US (against a $7 million budget), it hardly set the box-office alight. Instead, it gained a cult fandom normally reserved for Monthy Python movies, as evidenced by when a club in New York took its name from Bateman's favourite eatery Dorisa.

THAT WOULD BE DORSIA. It's only mentioned as the holy grail of eateries in the movie, what, a million times? Does not Jared Leto get an axe to the face precisely because he has access? Sheesh. Get it right or go home.

Oh God, shoot me.

So, after all the fuss I made about kicking people's arses who talked of a crossover of the Superman Returns and Batman Begins titular heroes--a World's Finest of the 21st century, if you will--I actually had a random idea for one while working for hours on end in tissue culture today. It's not a novel, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't turn into one if I ever committed it to paper. Suffice to say that I won't be doing that any time soon. I resent myself too much for even thinking it.

::grumbles::

****

You know what I just realized? Professor Farnsworth from Futurama is Fry's brother's descendant. Okay, okay, I know, I know, I win the Phillip J Fry Award for Abusive Stupidity for that one, but really? Just didn't even think about it. Fry's brother Yancy, his nephew, Phillip J Fry, they're dealt with separately from the Professor. We meet him first and find out about his ancestors only in flashbacks. I just had some cognitive disconnect that never let me realize Professor Farnsworth was descended from Fry's borther despite him being Fry's great^infinity nephew.

What brought me to this stunning revelation? A thought process equally as stupid as ignoring the fact this was the case for so long. My brain worked something like this:

(Randomly thinking of Futurama) "Hmm-hhmm-hmm...it's so weird when they show the Professor with hair. It's so goofy looking and it's bright red. Well, I guess that makes sense--it's genetic. Fry had red hair. I guess that just reminds people they're related. But he's not Fry's descendant, he'd have to be his brother's kid....MY GOD!!!!"

Yeah, stupid as fuck. And I know it.

***

Speaking of Futurama, the fourth season produced two gems recently:

Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! Leela has been named "Orphan of the Year" by the Orphanarium where she grew up!
Amy: Wow, congratulations! Your parents must be so proud!

(Scene: The New Justice Team--Fry, Leela, and Bender--are looking to make a quick exit as their alter-egos to reappear as the superheroes)
Leela: Oh, I completely forgot, I left my apartment on fire!
Bender: As for me, I'm late for my L.S.A.T.’s
Fry: And I can't take life anymore!
(Fry jumps out the window)

Cue me snorting Diet Pepsi up my nose. Oh, and the line that cracked roommate Liz's shit up:

Fry: I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.