Sweet Jesus

[trinityvixen]

SomethingAwful strikes again! The Tuesday Comedy Goldmine theme is: things people say in their sleep

I am dying. Quite possibly, I am dead already.

This shit just about made me choke on suppressed giggles:
Apparently I talk in my sleep as well. According to my manager, and corroborated by my phone's outgoing call log, I attempted to call off work one morning because I didn't like the smell of peaches.

Comments

[anarchicsquirrl.livejournal.com]

THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH! A COUCH IS SUCH A GREAT GIFT!

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Yeesssssss you love it tooooo

[happyelfling.livejournal.com]

this reminds me of my freshman roommate!! remember her? "Can you show me with your hands how big a beanbag is?... I mean, a snowflake! I need to know how big a snowflake is!" or whatever it was she said. Also, "Did you get the stuff? You know... for the thing."

[umeyard.livejournal.com]

Please make sure your brother reads this. He talked in his sleep often. Most of the time was pretty darn funny. One time i tried to wake him up and he went off on me about if there are no patients why am i waking him up, and don't i know he needs sleep, and he is going to have my job for this...

yeah
seriously
talk to your brother when he is asleep
fun for hours :D

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I've only been guilty of this myself the once, and I don't remember what it was I said (Carrie would). But, speaking of my roommate, she's done this a bunch of times. Once, she woke up, saw me come into the room was all hellos and smiles. Twenty minutes later she actually woke up and was like "When did you get here!?"

[umeyard.livejournal.com]

Oh no, your brother is the king of talking in his sleep. He actually called me once on his way back from atlantic city and fell asleep and kept talking to me for awhile, eventually he started snoring, i hung up, he woke up a few hours later with his phone in his hand.

rumor has it i talk in my sleep, but no idea what i say. I think i just muble and cry and stuff

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

No one's ever heard me, really, so I claim that I do not. All my sibs have some form of sleep trouble, and mine seems to be insomnia (manageable, but not funny).

Drew once scared the crap out of me by screaming, "No! JOHNNY NO!" I ran up to the third floor thinking it was serious or she'd had an awful nightmare. She didn't respond to me when I tried to wake her. Drew has a lot of good stories, actually. Like when she fell asleep with her eyes open. Or the time she sat on the stairs watching TV upstate. We went, "Drew are you awake?" She didn't say anything. "Drew, go back to bed." She got up and went.

[umeyard.livejournal.com]

LOL
Well, i will tell you this, you stayed in the itty bitty appartment and I am a light sleeper and i never heard a peep out of you so i think you are good :)

I have never known anybody to talk in their sleep like Darryl. There are times we would have full 30 min conversations that he would not remember the next day. But be warned, sleeping fox is usually evil fox...He said alot of things that later when I told him he felt awful, but i learned to just ignore ignore it. If he said something mean, just assume he was asleep :D

[shell524.livejournal.com]

This is the first really killer hilarious thing I've seen SA do. And some of them, there's NO WAY they're true! Though, goodness knows what kind of crazy shit people do in their sleep. I've had people spank me in their sleep, mumble crazy nonsense... and so on.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I believe all or any of this. I've had someone sleepwalk in on me in the bathroom, see it occupied, and go to the bathroom in the tub. Without waking up. Things shouted, things thrown, moving around, I believe it.

[droidguy1119.livejournal.com]

I don't know what I say in my sleep. I do know I can turn my alarm off in my sleep, though. This is not a useful talent, except when it comes to not waking up when I am supposed to.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

I can sleep through alarms, which is why my alarm goes off to a radio station--chatter will wake me, regular noises won't. I had an alarm fall next to my head in my sleep and all it did was make my dreams have a weird klaxon going off in them.

[hslayer.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, I had this one dream where my alarm went off. So I woke up and hit the button, but it kept ringing. So I unplugged it but it kept ringing. So I carried it down to the garage and bashed it repeatedly with a hammer, and there among all the broken bits was the speaker, still ringing. Then I actually woke up and my alarm was ringing.

That was a weird one.

I think I usually only say weird stuff when I'm sleeping away from home. When I was a kid on vacation with my mom once I sat up and starting yelling about how we'd miss our flight home, then went right back down when she told me we had plenty of time. Then a few years ago I was crashing on a floor at Lunacon, and Noah said in the morning I attempted to sit bolt upright, but smacked my head on a table, and just drifted right back down asleep. He said he had to go out into the hall to laugh so he didn't wake up everyone else in the room.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Ha! Excellent stories, thanks for sharing.

I will ask your fiancee to keep a list from here on out. And you're supposed to tell me if you hear her say anything goofy, too!