Oh, I was warned

[trinityvixen]

But I wasn't able to really know how great the Dolph Lundgren version of The Punisher was until I watched it.

Holy shit, this should be mandatory viewing for everyone on the planet. I laughed, I cried, I flinched! (Okay, so, only that last one at the naked Dolph ass, but still!) I think The Punisher: War Zone, Titus Pullo or no Titus Pullo, is going to be hard-pressed to top this one. It's so bad, it's the best thing I've seen in an age.

Man, I should have watched the sucky-ass Thomas Jane Punisher movie first. Because I swear this is the best thing ever, and nothing is ever going to compare. Not fucking ever. Oh my stars.

Comments

[droidguy1119.livejournal.com]

My favorite part is the group of samurai that you see training the whole movie only for Dolph to mow them down with an Uzi when he finally arrives in that same room. And when he stabs the dude through the wall. And him saving a bus full of children.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

No, no, those are just the best things that Dolph does. The best thing in the whole movie is when the ninja KICKS OFF THE GUY'S HAND. BEST THING EVER.

[droidguy1119.livejournal.com]

Well, I haven't seen it for a long time, so I don't remember that. I'm surprised Lionsgate hasn't rolled out a Special Edition DVD yet, as there's a director's cut available in the UK I believe.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

It might still be a rights issue. There was something I was reading about how they couldn't release it in the States when it was in theaters.

Then again, it's equally likely that this is a TASTE issue, though why we can't have this but my family owns fucking Van Helsing, I'll never understand.

And, yes, a ninja kicked a guy's hand off. Maybe with the aid of the ninja boot knife, but I just saw boot-hand-stump. I'll have to rewatch to be sure.

[droidguy1119.livejournal.com]

The fact that there are ninjas at all is almost awesome enough. I remember a lot of exposition from The Fugitive's Dr. Traitor Friend in a room with a bunch of statues, and the stuff I mentioned above. Also I remember The Punisher going into a house that blows up literally like five seconds later as an escape route, and I remember Louis Gossett, Jr. yelling "FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK" at the end when The Punisher vanishes.